Jokes

rabbitmarcel30: Let's see them people

LoisS: Shouldnt you start it off.....

Kathy__: "I hope you're not allergic to nuts cuz I'm gonna kick yours up into your throat".

More a funny line than a joke.

rabbitmarcel30: An old man comes hobbling into an ice cream shoppe and asked the man at the counter....can I have a strawberry sundae please...the clerk says...crushed nuts....no ARTHRITIS

Kathy__: Just heard someone bragging about his one night stand. Whatever guy, I've got two night stands. Either side of my bed.

Kathy__: I was walking along the street the other day when I slipped in dog chit. A minute later, some guy did the exact same thing. I said to him, "I just did that". So he punched me in the face and called me a dirty bastid.
(wording change to fit Wire rules)

Kathy__: Wife texts husband on a cold winter morning: "Windows frozen, won't open". Husband texts back: "Gently pour some lukewarm water over it and then gently tap edges with a hammer."
Wife texts back 10 minutes later: "Computer really messed up now"

Kathy__: A naked woman robbed a bank. Nobody could remember her face.