Wireclub Space Programme

Geoff: Wireclub needs you!

The WASA (Wireclub Aeronautical and Space Administration) drive to recruit new members for it's first manned flight to Mars is requesting nominations and volunteers to crew this ground-breaking project.

Nominations will require reasoning behind them, explaining the strengths of the nominated person and reasons why their inclusion on the mission is invaluable.

Please be aware that despite some rumours, this is not a publicity event aimed at demonstrating to other social networks that Wire is developing its own ballistic missile arsenal.

Darth: Do they have to be self-nominations or can others nominate people?

Geoff: Oh, I think nominations of other people is allowed. However, for legal reasons I do advise people to ensure that they are following Wire's ToS when making any recommendations.

Darth: Yes, smart idea as I suspect there will be a few nominations of people who may not be aware they are being nominated.

duncan124:

...or in fact going to Mars.

Corwin: As mission commander, I feel it is my duty to inform you that one or more candidates will be chosen unbeknownst to them, and will find themselves already en route to the Red Planet once the chloroform wears off.

Our studies have shown that those with the highest qualifications for the second in command position are likely to be far too intelligent to volunteer for such a dangerous mission on such a shoestring budget.

But fear not to the rest of you eager to join... we also need three or four volunteer crew members to wear the "red shirts".

Nicotina: I have some moderately skilled candidates for the mission to the sun who I can assure you would like to feel bright if only for a moment.

Wild__: I'm sure WASA will find ample quantity of space cadets in the depths of stupidity found in the pseudo-science forums.

Don't forget the nuclear detonation at the moment of arrival. We need to test nukes on other planets.

Geoff: I'm going to propose an extensive and intensive training programme, including long term isolation training in a secret facility for some of the crew, to ensure that they can survive in an enclosed environment for three years.

For research purposes we can leave them in there until they stop banging on the door.

Corwin: We've found that there is just enough funds in Wireclub's Space Programme budget to launch a second mission... but not quite enough funds to equip this second spacecraft with environmental support.
So we are also looking for volunteer candidates who are able to withstand extremes of temperature, and are able to hold their breath for a REALLY long time.

Aura: This isolation training of the crew...How many crewmen at the time are we talking about here? And would there be water and high nutrient food available?

calybonos: Sounds like fun, but I'm already under contract for the Jim Henson company to revisit Planet Koozebane.

It seems Dearth Nadir and his chicken stormtroopers are up to their old tricks again.

Corwin: Awww... that's a shame.

**scratches Caly off of the list**

I've heard that according to old-time sailing tradition, bringing a pig along on long sea voyages is good luck.
Probably in case they run out of food.

calybonos: Captain Link Hogthrob and Dr. Julius Strangepork might be available.

The Swinetrek is in the shop being retrofitted with Lowrider Hydraulics.

Quantum Zero31: I volunteer myself! But not to go to Mars. Just to space in Bransons space plane. Its only £200K per seat, and to recieve space wings would be appropriate. My reason? Its on my bucket list, and IS a worthy item to be on any bucket list.

Thank you for your consideration.

calybonos: Don't forget to tip the baggage handler, or you luggage may end up on Pluto.

Quantum Zero31: I always knew that pluto was a bit of a Mickey Mouse planet!

calybonos: I only speak Warner Bros. and a spattering of Hanna-Barbera, so...

I don't get it

Geoff: Well, I am sure we will need crew for initial tests of manned LEO craft.

davidk14: .

Of course any lost Luggage accidentally diverted to Pluto would first need to pass through Uranus.

.

duncan124:

The Portuguese have found the perfect financiers in US private equity Apollo ( owner of Tranquility ).

Badly burnt in the Banif sale it is ideally suited for Wireclubs needs.

Loony Greeks and Hollywood basements not withstanding it could provide a lucrative launch in to the DVD and Gaming world.

Geoff: We do need to determine a launch site.

Personally, I am opposed to Baikonur or Canaveral - but we do need a secure facility on or near the equator.

Corwin: I was thinking the Galapagos Islands.

It's very near the equator, it's fairly undeveloped so we can build almost anywhere, lots of nice beaches, and there's plenty of those giant turtles to harvest to dehydrate into space-food.
Mmmmm.... turtle paste in a tube.

Darth: LOL

Aura: Not a bad spot, but very little in terms of infrastructure.
So we don't just have to build the launch pad and control center, but also the bar to support the staff Are we really willing to waste that much energy?