ahahahahaha obnoxious jokes (Page 6) harlett daeava: ..An older gentleman goes into a bar and hears the other patrons discussing the ups and down of marriage. "Next week my wife and I will celebrate our fiftieth anniversary," he tells them. "That's great. What's your secret for a long and happy marriage," one asks. "Well, you have to do nice things for your wife." "Such as?" "Well, for our twenty fifth anniversary I took her to Italy." "That is nice. What are you going to do for your fiftieth?" "I'm going back to visit her."   RUBY: 2 dead men meet 1 asks the other how did you die? frozen was in a freezer and i died and you? i died for too much hapiness too much hapiness? how's that? well i came home from work and found my wife in bed nude i checked under the bed ..nobody was there in the closet same thing checked all the rooms so i was so happy that she didn't cheat on me i died of too much joy you.P..........k if you'd check in the freezer we'd both be alive right now harlett daeava: ..Rest Stop Joke I was coming back from visiting my son in my Miami and I stopped at a rest stop to use the bathroom. I just sat down on the toilet when I heard a voice coming from the stall next to mine, “Hey! How’s it going?” Although I was quite surprised, and I wasn’t in the habit of conversing to the people next to me in the stall, I nevertheless answered him, “I’m fine” I said “thanks for asking.” “What are you doing?” Asked the same voice. To be honest I was a bit taken aback by the brazenness of this fellow, but I would never ignore anyone so I calmly answered, “I’m relieving myself.” Then I heard the same voice again, “I’m going to have to call you back, some smart-aleck is answering all of my questions.” harlett daeava: .. 5 Best Pick-up Line Comebacks Man – Haven’t I seen you someplace before? Woman – Yes, that’s why I don’t go there anymore. Man – Can I buy you a drink? Woman – I think I’d rather have the money! Man – Is this seat empty? Woman – Yes, and this one will be if you sit down. Man – So what do you do for a living? Woman – I’m a female impersonator. FlashW: A lady goes into a bar with her goose. The bartender comes up to her and says, ''Why did you have to bring the pig in with you?'' The lady answered, ''Excuse me, I think this is a goose.'' And the bartender says, ''Excuse me, I was talking to the goose.'' harlett daeava: .snowmen joke Two snowmen are standing next to each other in a yard. One says to the other, “Funny, I smell carrots too.” harlett daeava: ..Jerry was in the hospital recovering from surgery when a nurse asks him how he is feeling. “I’m OK but I didn’t like the four-letter-word the doctor used in surgery,” he answered. “What did he say,” asked the nurse. “OOPS!” harlett daeava: .  A group of horses were moving down towards the horse court for horse jury. One horse asks another, "Where do we enter again?" The other horse replies indignantly, "Why the mane entrance of course!" harlett daeava: LOL ...  A bodybuilder picks up a woman at a bar and takes her home with him. He takes off his shirt and the woman says "What a great chest you have." The bodybuilder tells her "That's 1000 lbs. of dynamite." He takes off his pants and the woman says "What massive calves you have", the bodybuilder tells her "That's 1000 lbs. of dynamite". He then takes off his underwear and the woman goes running and screaming out of the apartment. The bodybuilder puts his clothes back on and chases after her. He finally catches up to her and asks her why she ran out of the apartment. The woman replies, "I was afraid to be around all that dynamite after I saw what a short fuse you have." harlett daeava: ..There's this old lady at a supermarket. She goes to the produce section. She's rummaging around for a while. Then the Produce Manager sees this and starts talking to her. Produce Manager: Can I help you ma'am? Old Lady: I'm trying to find some broccoli. Produce Manager: We're out of broccoli at the moment. The old lady starts rummaging again. Produce Manager: Can I help you ma'am? Old Lady: I'm trying to find some broccoli. Produce Manager: I just told you that we don't have any at the moment. The old lady begins rummaging again. Produce Manager: Can I help you ma'am? Old Lady: I'm trying to find some broccoli. Produce Manager: Is there straw in strawberry? Old Lady: Yes. Produce Manager: Is there van in vanilla? Old Lady: Yes. Produce Manager: Is there freak in broccoli? Old Lady: There's no freak in broccoli! Produce Manager: That's what I've been trying to tell you!!! harlett daeava: ..Girl: Baby I want to ask you something. Boy: Ask me for anything, I will do it for you, you are my heaven and earth. Girl: Can u kill a lion 4 me? Boy: Are u sick? How can I kill a lion for you? Please ask for something else. Girl: OK, let me go through the messages on your phone. Boy: hmmmmm. Where is the lion you want me to kill? harlett daeava: ..  ..Winnie the pooh jokeWhy was Tigger’s head in the toilet? He was looking for pooh! (Edited by harlett daeava) harlett daeava: .. Divorce, custody, and Pepsi Cola A man and his wife were getting a divorce at a local court, but the custody of their children posed a problem. The mother jumped to her feet and protested to the judge that since she had brought the children into this world, she should retain custody of them. The man also wanted custody of his children, so the judge asked for his side of the story. After a long moment of silence, the man rose from his chair and replied: ‘Judge, when I put a dollar into a vending machine, and a Pepsi comes out, does the Pepsi belong to me or to the machine?’ Don’t laugh, he won! harlett daeava: ..... You might be Taliban if You refine heroin for a living, but have a " moral objection " to BEER if You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your pants if You wear eyeliner yet have thrown acid in the face of your wife, daughter or sister because they wore any make-up harlett daeava: ... LOL a joke from texas about having the biggest The travelin’ Texan picked up a sweet young thang in a bar and after several rounds, ordered the biggest steaks they had. Later, they retired to his room, naturally the largest in the hotel. As they undressed, he said, “I’m from Fort Worth, Texas, and we have the biggest of everything.” The girl only nodded and smiled. As they began to make love, he exclaimed, “Golleeeee, lil’ Lady! What part of Texas y’all from?” | Off Topic Chat Room Similar Conversations |
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