How To Test Your Girlfriend harlett anathema: You've been getting closer with a woman and you're thinking, Hmmshe might be "the one." But in the back of your mind an insistent little voice keeps nagging, "This is too good to be true." And instant replays of all the mood swings, temper tantrums, and unbridled greediness of your past girlfriends flit through your brain. Maybe there have been inklings that all is not sunny in relationship paradise; or maybe you're just feeling a need to tap the brakes a little and tread cautiously -- after all, dating is a significant investment and you don't want to throw away the next six months of your life on someone who turns out to be another psycho. Test Time So before you commit, put her to the test. Women are constantly testing us and constantly evaluating the results, so it's only fair for us to turn the tables. Here are a few tests you can try on for size: Excess baggage Lots of women are the "walking wounded" -- they carry around unresolved hurt and anger from past relationships and expect the new men in their lives to tolerate their outbursts. To evaluate your girlfriend's baggage level, quiz her about her past boyfriends. If she comes back with, "Troy and I are still friends, even though it didn't work out," you're in safe territory. But if she says nothing or begins badmouthing him like a maniac, run. The green-eyed monster Nothing will tip you off more about future problems than her reaction to your interaction with other women. You'll know right away if your girlfriend has jealousy issues by those daggers in her eyes when you look at the opposite sex. And if she's the jealous type, watch out -- hell hath no fury. So to test her, deliberately flirt with a waitress, or point out how hot some chick on TV looks. Prepare for the worst! harlett anathema: Can you trust her? This is the flip side of the jealousy test. Have one of your friends or a business associate hit on her and see how she reacts. If she opens the door and invites him in, it means she's still on the lookout for the BBD (Bigger, Better Deal), and it's just a matter of time before you're out on the street. Find out if she's selfish or she has ulterior motives http://www.askmen.com/dating/curtsmith_100/108_dating_advice.html#ixzz2VRDCv9eS harlett anathema: Me, me, me Today many, many women are selfish, self-obsessed narcissists who expect men to coddle them and cater to their every whim. This is because they hold the sex trump card and know it. To test her selfishness quotient, insist (over her demands) on eating at a restaurant you pick, or opt to stay in and watch a DVD instead of going out. If she's a spoiled brat who only cares about herself, you'll find out right away. What does she really want? If you're a good-looking guy, it's possible that your girlfriend is only interested in your looks. To test her, show up for a date sprouting stubble and wearing your rumpled old clothes from high school, or pass on taking a shower after working out. If she thinks it's "cute," or reacts with a smile, she passes with flying colors; but if she throws a tantrum and starts screaming about how embarrassing it would be to be seen with you, it's time to move on. If you're a guy with lots of cash, it may just be that she's angling to wrap her sticky little fingers around your wallet. To deal with her, tell her that you're about to lose your job, so money's tight. Or pretend that you forgot your wallet and that she'll have to foot the bill. Or even start a discussion about the necessity of prenuptial contracts. If this earns you a flat, "I-can't-believe-this" stare or she starts calling you "cheap," head for the nearest exit. harlett anathema: How cool is she? Some women --especially the jealous types -- are relentlessly insecure and interpret any male independence as a threat to their sexual control of the relationship. This includes spending time with your buddies whom she views as a gateway to the single life and opportunities for interaction with other women. Guys like to go to sports bars, strip clubs, games -- places where she can't exert her control. Test her by telling her you can't see her Saturday night because you and your friends are going to a strip club. Her reaction will be immediate -- but again, prepare for he worst. Home alone Leave her alone with your friends or family members to see how she interacts with them. Is she polite and engaging? Does she make an effort to get to know them -- or does she view them as competition? Ask them what kind of impression they got from her, and pay close attention to their answers -- they may be seeing something you're not. does she get a passing grade? These tests may seem manipulative, but keep in mind that she'll likely try out each and every one out on you. Keep your mouth shut, test her in all the ways that matter, and find out if you should keep her or sweep her. Matthew Fitzgerald is the author of Sex-Ploytation. He has appeared on radio shows from coast-to-coast in the United States and in Canada, and has been featured on the Montel show and The Other Half. AskMen's Free Weekly Newsletter Read more: http://www.askmen.com/dating/curtsmith_100/108b_dating_advice.html#ixzz2VRDgkpKk harlett anathema: DON'T LET ANY WOMAN TEST YOU ...HMMM..  Your relationship with your girlfriend is sailing along -- you're having fun, there isn't a lot of fighting, and the sex is good. Everything seems to be working quite nicely. But then, out of left field, she tosses you a hand grenade: she accuses you of having an affair with the new girl at work. A girl you've exchanged maybe ten words with. After you finish picking your jaw up off the floor, you deny her accusation, but she's pouty, sullen. "I can't believe you're destroying our relationship," she tells you. "What is it? I'm not pretty enough for you anymore?" Desperate, shaking your head in disbelief, you try to pour oil on troubled waters by apologizing for something you never did in the first place. But it's too late. The sex is cut off. And it's only after innumerable phone calls, flower deliveries, and humiliating begging that you manage to restore harmony. For something you never did in the first place. What the hell happened here? Well, my friend, you were just a victim of "The Test." And you failed it miserably. Read more: http://www.askmen.com/dating/curtsmith_100/104_dating_advice.html#ixzz2VRF87F1i harlett anathema: the nasty tests women dish Women are like spoiled children. They are self-focused, insecure and irrational. They crave drama and games. They demand constant attention, reassurance, and above all, power in relationships. And, like children, who ceaselessly push limits to see just how much they can get away with from their parents, women relentlessly test men. Just how do women test? Here are a few examples: Canceling or changing plans at the last minute. Not returning phone calls (even though she's interested in you). Finding fault with your clothes, hair, car, etc. and pressuring you to change them. Pouting when you want to spend time with your buddies. Bringing up the dreaded "Where do you think this relationship is going?" question. Acting bratty, bitchy, demanding, dramatic, picky, or manipulative to see if you will put with it. Testing to see how nice you are (will you back down or change your behavior to suit her?). Expecting you to ask for permission before doing any "guy stuff." Blatantly flirting with other men in front of you. Accusing you of doing things you didn't do. Threatening to leave or end the relationship if she doesn't get her way. Blaming you when you call her on her behavior. Making you jump through all sorts of hoops. Asking "no-win situation" questions ("Does this dress make me look fat?". Playing hard-to-get -- pretending she's not interested in you when she really is, and then expecting you to keep pursuing her. Not answering questions directly/expecting you to be a mind reader and then blaming you when you're not. Withholding sex and making you beg for it. Read more: http://www.askmen.com/dating/curtsmith_100/104_dating_advice.html#ixzz2VRFTI4La harlett anathema: why do women test men? "The Test" is all about control. Since women already know they control relationships with sex, they are experts at manipulating men. Their power base is granting and withdrawing attention and access to their "favors" (while making sure they extort a hefty price). But they need more -- they need to know that their control is absolute. So they test men to see how far they can push them, to see just how much they can get away with. They test to see how insecure men are, to see how desperate they are for sex (to determine how much they can exploit them). They test to see how much they've been able to feminize men (for example, forcing them to express emotions) and so make them more controllable. They test to reassure themselves of their physical attractiveness, to see if they can still wrap men around their fingers with their sexual power. They test to provide drama in their lives by provoking unnecessary fights and arguments. Testing is a woman's way of keeping a man off-balance, of keeping him dancing to her tune like a puppet on a string. This is why, as soon as a man reacts to The Test by getting angry, giving in, or apologizing, he has failed. He's lost the relationship game and handed over all his male power, forever doomed to be the groveling wuss-boy who will kneel down and take anything his woman dishes out. And she loves it. Thinking you can't win? Don't be so sure. Read more: http://www.askmen.com/dating/curtsmith_100/104b_dating_advice.html#ixzz2VRFjjcHd harlett anathema: slam on the brakes Here are a few tips to put the brakes on her manipulative tests: 1- Develop a test "radar." Be on the lookout for the items in the list above. Remember; it is how a man reacts to a woman's testing off the bat that will determine the course of the relationship. Once you become aware of what she's doing, it will be much easier to stop it before it starts. 2- Never get angry at her testing, and never apologize for your behavior (assuming you've done nothing wrong) -- if you do, you'll lose instantly. 3- Test her back! Try using her own tests against her and see how she reacts. 4- Stand your ground at the outset. At the first inkling of a test, put your foot down, and keep it down. Tell her that you refuse to be tested. Explain to her that if she wants to be with you, then she'll have to knock off the childish power games. 5- When all else fails, walk away. Go out and look for a woman who doesn't need to test you and who genuinely appreciates you. This is your ultimate power as a man, and the ultimate "pass" of her tests. don't get testy So, guys, watch out for those tests! Remember; in a healthy relationship, you shouldn't be forced to cater to a woman or coddle her in any way. A woman will try to test you from the first moment you meet her, and the best way to deal with The Test is to stop it before it starts. Read more: http://www.askmen.com/dating/curtsmith_100/104b_dating_advice.html#ixzz2VRFucqcb harlett anathema: OWEEEEEEEEEEE......there is even a video...HOW TO TELL IF YOUR GIRLFRIEND IS A PSYCHO.... R E B E C C A: oh my goodness... yeah the poor men need women helping them sus out who r the bishes P L EASE!  (Post deleted by staff )   RUBY: I think if a woman starts thinking her man is cheating feels not much love from him like before less interest and so on it's cause most men have the habit to impress women when they start a realtionship giving her all that she needs make her feel loved...... wanted ...special.... important when he finally gets her he stops doing all that so I think it's normal for a woman to have many reasons to think many things  R E B E C C A: thats true Rubes a lot of men are very selfish But i think this does happen a lot too....  R E B E C C A: TBH H i think this is all  I was with a fella who had me reduced to going through his stuff, looking for clues n checking up on him, testing him when really all i needed to do was trust my instincts ....he was a lowlife waste of time n effort...... N IMO if you've nothing to hide whats the problem with your partner looking at your phone ....its only a phone?!  When you have to start playing mind games n testing each other its time to go harlett anathema: RAH......this isn't about PSYCHO MEN with the same social problems and MO's.... I posted the warning signs for JEALOUS & POSSESSIVE GAME PLAYING MEN... else where.. I posted this for,inexperienced YOUNGIN's HERE... Topic: Off Topic (Edited by harlett anathema) R E B E C C A: LOL well I wish wish I was an inexperienced youngin... N HAR I'm well aware what this is about I wasnt talking about PSYCHO MEN I was merely comparing my own past actions with those women you have outlined here. N IMO (which I am entitled to have H) the idea of "playing her at her own game" is a big ole waste of time....In the long run he'd be better off calling it a day R E B E C C A: AND if there's any man who reads this OP n thinks to himself "yes that sounds like my gf/mrs he clearly doesn't think very highly of her to begin with, which could actually be the cause of her behavior as she's probably picked up on it SISTER SOLIDARITY  | Off Topic Chat Room Similar Conversations |
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