Dull Jokes (part two)... continued from (part one)... :) (Page 2) blogmaestro: I think it was in my previous incarnation here as dawnismysoulmate. I remember it because I thought it was clever. blogmaestro: Yeah well I just hit 40...I am an old fart now. Oh and its me JY. The God of the other site.  Stewart75: And Tinkles... go start another sad/pathetic thread... ... or have you run out of dull shit thoughts/ideas...? Stewart75: Patient: Doctor Doctor! I've a strawberry stuck in my ear! Doctor: Don't worry, I think I've got some cream for that! Patient: Doctor Doctor! I keep thinking I'm a cowboy. How long will this last? Doctor: Usually only about a yeeehhhaaaaa! Patient: Doctor Doctor! My hair keeps falling out. Can you give me something to keep it in? Certainly! How about this paper bag? Patient: Doctor Doctor! I think I'm losing my memory. Doctor: When did it start? Patient: When did what start? Patient: Doctor Doctor! I keep thinking I'm a $100 note! Doctor: Come back tomorrow and I'll see if there's any change! Patient: Doctor Doctor! Will I be able to play the piano when you've fixed my broken hand? Doctor: Well Of course! Patient: Great! Cos' I've never been able to play it before!  harlett: Just another Irishman : Paddy O' Leary had spent the eve drinking at the local tavern. He knew he had a long walk home, so though he was a wee tipsy, he recalled a shortcut through the town's cemetery. Paddy staggered 'round the graves, but lost his footing and fell into a hole dug for a burial the following day. He passed out when he hit bottom. Upon awakening the next morn, Paddy stood up and realized where he was-- and promptly shouted "Glory Be to GOD! 'Tis the Resurrection Day-- and I'm the first one up!" Stewart75: Patient: Doctor Doctor I swallowed a bone! Doctor: Are you choking? Patient: No, I really did! Patient: Doctor, Doctor my son has swallowed my pen, what should I do? Doctor: Use a pencil 'til I get there! Patient: Doctor, Doctor When I press with my finger here... it hurts, and here... it hurts, and here... and here... What do you think is wrong with me? Doctor: You have a broken finger! Patient: Doctor, Doctor I snore so loud I keep myself awake at night! Doctor: Then sleep in another room! Patient: Doctor, Doctor my sister thinks she's an elevator! Doctor: Well tell her to come in at once! Patient: I can't, she doesn't stop at this floor! Patient: Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm a dog! Doctor: Please come sit on the couch and we'll talk about it! Patient: I'm not allowed on the couch! Patient: Doctor, Doctor how long do I have to live? Doctor: About three to four minutes... Patient: Isn't there anything you can do for me? Doctor: Well, I can boil you an egg! harlett: A trucker picks up a hitchhiker who climbs up in the cab and notices a monkey on the dashboard. After a few miles, he asks the driver what the monkey is for. The driver says "I'll show you," and with that he hits the monkey with the back of his hand, sending the poor creature rolling across the dash. The monkey goes down between the drivers legs, unzips his pants, pulls out his unit and proceeds to give the trucker oral gratification. When finished, the monkey pulls out a tissue, cleans the driver up, puts everything back and jumps back up on the dashboard. "See that?" said the trucker. The man said, "Yeah." The trucker ask the man, "You want to try it?" The man said, "OK, but don't hit me as hard as you hit that monkey!" Stewart75: A guy is driving happily along when he’s pulled over by the cops… ... the cop approaches the guy and politely asks, "Have you been drinking, sir?" "Why’d you ask that…?"… replies the guy… "like, is there a fat ugly chick in my car...?" USEtheUSER: lol, waking up beside fat ugly chick in the morning after drinking in the club...its disaster Stewart75: Three generations of prostitutes living together; a daughter, a mother, and grandmother... One night the daughter came home looking very down... "How did you get on tonight Dear?" asked her mother... "Not too good," replied the daughter... "I only got $50 for a blow job." "Wow!" said the mother, "In my day we gave a blow job for $5!" "Good God!" said the Grandmother, "In my day we were just happy to get something warm in our stomachs!" USEtheUSER: One fisherman came back home and said to his wife... "Miracle, HONEY...the golden fish...OMG ! I cought it, and then released it... HONEY...OMG ! ...and then I said my wish, that I want to urinate wiskey ...FASTER...bring two glasses in the toilet... And so, indeed...instead of piss...he started to distribute whiskey from his" love faucet "...omg ! Next day he said again to his wife... "BRING US TWO GLASSES , HONEY...AND LETS DRINK" The third day he shouted from the toilet... "HONEY, BRING ME ONE GLASS, IM THIRSTY AGAIN" But his wife said in reply: "HOW COME JUST ONE GLASS...I WANT TO DRINK TOO" ...then the fisherman said... "OH NO HONEY,...TODAY...YOU WILL DRINK FROM THE FAUCET" OMG ! (Post deleted by staff ) | Off Topic Chat Room Similar Conversations |
soooo lame lol 
