Place your jokes here thread. (Page 2) Sables: Dear (___Stewpid___ ), I regret to inform you that you have been eliminated from further contention as Mr. Troll. As you are probably aware, the competition was exceedingly tough and dozens of well-qualified candidates such as yourself also failed to make the final cut. I will, however, keep your name on file should an opening become available. So that you may find better success in your future troll endeavors, please allow me to offer the following reason(s) you were disqualified from the competition: unoriginal repetitive boring  Stewart75: Q: What do you call a drunken Granny who falls down the stairs each night...? A: A very bruised Tala  hitsugaya252: "A drunken boy" A Boy drunk & came late 2home, quietly took laptop & start working 2avoid dad scolding Dad:R u Drunk? Son:No Dad:Then wat r u doing with my suitcase? " "  o_o Dilly o_o: The wife was complaining in bed last night. "Why did you take it out? Put it back in." "That's the wrong hole." "Is it in yet?" "I can't feel anything." ..."Everything's going blurry." "I can't breathe." "You fu*cking bastarrrhhh..." "......................." After a couple of minutes, I plugged the ventilator back in and called the nurse. OH I KNOW!!!! very un P.C but its funny so lighten up.....*advance commenting for the members who WILL get their knickers in a knot* EDIT: stuck a little * in the bad word. ~LoisLane~: A blind man walks into a store with his seeing eye dog. All of a sudden, he picks up the leash and begins swinging the dog over his head. The manager runs up to the man and asks, "What are you doing?!!" The blind man replies, "Just looking around." ~LoisLane~: A hobo comes up to the front door of a neat looking farmhouse and raps gently on the door. When the farm owner answers, the hobo asks him, "Please, sir, could you give me something to eat? I haven't had a good meal in several days." The owner says, "I have made a fortune in my lifetime by supplying goods for people. I've never given anything away for nothing. However, if you go around the back, you will see a gallon of paint and a clean paint brush. If you will paint my porch, I will give you a good meal." So the hobo goes around back and a while later he again knocks on the door. The owner says, "Finished already? Good. Come on in. Sit down. The cook will bring your meal right in." The hobo says, "Thank you very much, sir. But there's something that I think you should know. It's not a Porsche you got there. It's a BMW."  Comrade_: A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!” The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you.” Anne aka Mags: lol Caveman!  Karma & Sables!Hey Tala! What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs??? Still no idea! Comrade_: Two guys are sitting on a bar stool. One starts to insult the other one. He screams, “I f*&@ with your mother!” The bar gets quiet as everyone listens to see what the other weasel will do. The first again yells, “I F@%& WITH YOUR MOTHER!” The other says, “Go home dad you’re drunk.” ~LoisLane~: Sables keeps explaining jokes  Women who just bleach their mustaches clearly don't understand the problem with women and mustaches. A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. After a few more he needs to go to the can. He doesn't want anyone to steal his drink so he puts a sign on it saying, "I spat in this beer, do not drink!". After a few minutes he returns and there is another sign next to his beer saying, "So did I!" ~LoisLane~: A man walks into a bar with a giraffe and they proceed to get blitzed. The giraffe drinks so much it passes out on the floor. The man gets up and heads for the door to leave when the bartender yells, "Hey! You can't leave that lyin' there!" The drunk replies, "That's not a lion! It's a giraffe." Anne aka Mags: A piece of string goes into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says, "I'm sorry, we don't serve your kind here. You'll have to leave!" So the string goes outside, twists himself up and frizzes one end of himself. He goes back inside and asks for a drink. The bartender looks at him and says, "Aren't you the piece of string that was just in here?" "No!" says the string, "I'm afraid not!" [make sure you say this out loud] | Off Topic Chat Room Similar Conversations |