Bad ... REALLY BAD ... Advice For Readers To Share (Page 4)
DawnGurl: Give out as much personal information as possible in a chat room. This way you will become well-known and well-liked and make many friends. Your address, phone number, work place address and number, even your friends and parents' info will all be a big help for others trying to make friends with you.
"Safety items" are just a hassle. Bulky helmets, padded clothes in ugly colours that are too hot to wear, ropes and clumsy boots are just in the way of you performing your job swiftly and painlessly, how often do you intentionally drop a spanner or kick a paint bucket over a ledge anyway? The same goes for safety belts, so much extra effort just for going in and out of the car.
Comrade_: If anyone is going out to an Arabian restaurant I'd recommend you to order the bbq Halal pork.
DawnGurl: Be sure to hose down your computer every few days. Not only does it clean it off after it gets dirty, but the water will cool it down better than any fan. Salt water is best. You can also dunk your keyboard in a nice fresh bucket of saltwater. Also,scrubbing the monitor with Ajax or steel wool pads will insure a bright clean image always.
Agricola: if you have a problem with your internets and computer, then maybe you have the system32 virus. If this happens you must delete the System32 folder and reboot.
Boba Fett: Many celebrities and models troll the internet looking for friendship and something more. You can tell them easily from their profile photo and nobody on the net misrepresents themselves...especially their gender. So go ahead, message Enrique Iglesias or that stunning french pop star whatever her name is...they will be happy to hear from you.
(Edited by Boba Fett)
Hyenablood: if you're a man in public, pay attention to all the women around you. Stare hard at any women that comes near you and even start following one for a long time wherever she goes. It will make her feel special and wanted, something ever girl wants from a complete stranger.
fairgojustsaying: If your mobile phone is dirty drop it down the toilet, don't use tongues that may damage it, use your clean hands to retrieve then throw it against a brick wall this will make it work faster.
calybonos: Women love a man who always appears to be lost in deep thoughts.
So avoid eye contact,and stare intently at their boobies and answer
all of their statements absent mindly by saying......"yeah,whatever"
DawnGurl: Dont bother getting anyexpensive anti-virus software like Norton or MacAfee; download whatever you like as often as you like online with a clear conscience. Just spray your tower with Lysol. This will kill any virus you may have picked up.
Daily read the posts of this thread, that will make you smart and u will "stand" out of the crowd..for sure..
Agricola: 'NEVER use a condom, for they are the instrument of Satan. We were put on this earth to procreate!' - The Pope
If you DO use a condom, save it and share it with friends.
Recycling is good for the planet.
When stopped by a Police Officer for a minor traffic violation, be sure to call him or her a pig and then spit in their face. They will enjoy that.
When pulled over by a Police Officer, ask what he's doing outside, are all the doughnut shops closed?
When pulled over by a Police Officer, say: Bad Policeman, no doughnut!
When pulled over by a Police Officer, offer him a doughnut, but only if he behaves.
Agricola: Never tell people you're invading their country to steal their oil, instead tell them you are there to liberate them, Goddammit!!
calybonos: Wearing your underwear on the outside of your pants shows people that you are confident and not incontinent.