Problem/Solution Wild__: Step 1, solve the problem posted above. Preferably a silly or funny solution. Step 2, Post a problem. Again, silly or funny. Step 3, have fun. Problem: The Jehovah's witness are approaching and my laptop is plugged in here at a local coffee shop. There's no way I can get away in time!   Geoff: Load up some hard core pornography, preferably involving someone dressed as Satan. Look rapt. Make notes. There is no beer in my fridge. Wild__: Stand on a street corner, naked, holding a sign that reads "will get dressed if given beer." A little kid just grabbed my brownie cheesecake and slobbered all over it before I could react. Geoff: Grab the kid, slobber all over it until it's mother complains. Then slobber all over her too. I'm standing on a street corner, naked, and there's no one around. And it's cold. Wild__: Flag down the next police car and they will take you to nice warm place. (Or call them if you have a cell phone with you.) There are too many old folks in line and it takes way too long to get a refill of coffee.  oneamazingworld: Put a table of free baked goods and sandwiches to the side - take cover -they will race over and leave the coffee line I am at the airport customs line just back from New Guinea - I have just realized 2 pygmies have hidden in my suitcase. Wild__: Dress them in Batman costumes and tie their feet to the ceiling, then proceed as though nothing happened. The road to hell is giant traffic jam and.I fear it may take an eternity to see my friends.  Corwin: Cheat and take the shoulder, and you can beat us all there... and you can have a lake-front table reserved for us, and drinks ready when the rest of us show up. Sure, you may get nabbed by the road-to-Hell traffic cops, but what's the worst they can do?... send you to Hell? I'm stuck in a crowded elevator that has jammed between floors, and I feel an enormous fart brewing... but I also suspect that it may in fact not be a fart. oneamazingworld: dont worry there is a ceiling fan - climb up to the ceiling metal mesh - climb up - use the ladder and go to the next floor - let it go - altruism at its greatest. You are fine - no more beans! lost my id in the hosp parking lot - security is around my vehicle Wild__:  Just wait for them to approach, smile, and answer all of their questions with "no habla Espanol." That seems to work around here. One of my 'booty calls' posted on Facebook that she now has a boyfriend. Wild__: I don't want her back but that's not a problem. My new thread is in jeopardy of extinction because people don't post problems, thus preserving the chain.  oneamazingworld: chained not good - get a good locksmith to help concert tickets too much money - wanna go see van and adele  ColonelKusanagi: invest in disguises and sneak in, perhaps the hamburglar or a shifty bush? i have way too much food and don't want any more ass oneamazingworld: beautiful women have junk in the trunk - enjoy life - we were not all born to be 120 lbs Broken Toilet - no Plumber Available Wild__: Shit in the woods like a bear, just be careful to NOT wipe with poison oak/ivy. This place is boing this morning. oneamazingworld: Start A Party Or Get Even With That Lousy Neighbour Snow Storm - No Kidding Out Of Salt ColonelKusanagi: kitty litter if you have some will help in a bind, make sure there is no shit in it. my skin is dry and cracking oneamazingworld: a good skin cream is essential - but i think whoever applies it makes the difference lol No Phone Service Need A Ride Geoff: Hitch. If you don't get a ride, flash a little leg, that'll work. My leather jacket got pissed on by my ex's cat, now it stinks of ammonia. oneamazingworld: lol - tomato juice will get the stink out of the jacket - I would train the cat to piss on your ex Water Bed is Leaking ColonelKusanagi: there are patches you can use and duck tape ought to work too if you have some after patching up your life with it. i skinned the hell out of my knees and they hurt so bad Lilliputia: Jump on it so you can empty it and get a shower at the same time... then get a bunch of leaves and feathers and put it in the empty wet box... It's cold and snowy outside and I don't want to go out and feed.. ColonelKusanagi: light a match, preferably holding it up to the fart for a nice burst of flame i can't tell what's going on |