Dark Jokes (Page 33)

LoisS
LoisS: A woman is finishing up in the shower. She hears a knock at the door. She quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs down stairs. She opens the door to her neighbour Bob.
Before she says a word Bob says "I will give you $800 bucks to drop that towel."
Without hesitation, she drops her towel and stands there for a few seconds. He hands her the money and leaves.
Her husband calls her from upstairs."who was that at the door?" "It was Bob the neighbour" she says. "Did he mention the $800 bucks that he owes me?"
1 year ago Report
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LoisS
LoisS: An American man during his stay in China doesnt use a condom at all. After getting back home to the States he wakes up one morning and discovers that his penis is covered in bright green and purple spots. He visits a Doctor right away. The Doctor who has never seen anything like this before takes some tests and finds out the man has Mongolian VD. In the United States it is very rare. "im sorry but your penis will have to be amputated" the Dr says.
The next day the man seeks out a Chinese Dr figuring that he will know more about the disease. The Chinese Dr exclaims after examining the mans penis "You have Mongolian VD a very rare disease" . Yes I already know that but what can we do he says. The American Dr wants to amputate. The Chinese Dr says " Stupid American Dr's always want to amputate, there is no need to cut". Oh thank God he says. "Yes" The Dr tells him.."wait two weeks fall off by itself"...
5 months ago Report
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LoisS
LoisS: Two young lovers go up to the mountains for a romantic winter vacation. When they get to the cabin the guy goes out to chop some wood to start the fireplace.When he gets back he says "hunny my hands are freezing" To that she replies "well come here and I will warm them between my legs". He goes out a couple of more times and does the same thing. After dinner he goes out one more time to chop wood for the night. When he returns he again says "hunny my hands are really freezing". She looks at him and says" for crying out loud dont your ears ever get cold"!.
5 months ago Report
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LoisS
LoisS: My supervisor mad as hell! He called and said,"Damn, why havent you been at work all week?"
I said,"I was there you just couldnt see me....I identify as invisible. Im transparent....My pronouns are who/where!". Now say something else and im gonna file a discrimination complaint.
Its been about a month now.....
1 month ago Report
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