Alpha Males and Alpha Females(Training Center) Super Heroes,Super Mind "Self" Help Center (Page 4)

WonderWoman1
WonderWoman1: When events do not go according to our expectations, we often light ourselves on fire with anger, blaming life for not having fulfilled our expectations. Then the mind will say, "That's it. I have figured it out. I will live the rest of my life without any expectations." But this one-sided mind does not see that thought as being an expectation in itself. Setting the expectation to have no future expectations sets up a hidden conflict within the mind. In reality, it is impossible for the mind to live without having expectations.

Expectations have their place. We would not be able to bake a cake without the mind using its imagination to form an expectation as to how the perfect cake should taste. It is not the expectation that punishes us. What punishes us is when the desire for a certain outcome lives on past the moment of the expectation. In other words, when events do not go according to our desired expectations, we are punished when that desire for a certain outcome does not match what takes place, and we begin resenting the result. It is the identification with the imagined outcome that produces the conflict. Within the divided mind there exists a self that sits and compares what has actually happened to its expectations. It is out of this comparison that the conflict comes.

We slowly begin to avoid taking risks because we do not want to experience the same feelings of anger, rage, and disappointment when another expectation breaks down. We unwittingly go through a cycle of expectation, followed by the result, rejection of the result, and finally the confirmation within ourselves that life has somehow wronged us. The pain of broken expectations comes from the unseen idea we carry around that who we are--our sense of self--depends upon our expectations being fulfilled by the moment. Who you really are does not depend upon how events unfold. Do your best, and when you have done your best, leave the rest.

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WonderWoman1: Stop Shaking and Aching for Nothing



Key Lesson: Trying to "fix" the people in your life that cause you pain is like massaging your shoes because your feet ache.

Turn Your Fuming into Freedom

How many of us spend our precious time and energy fuming over what others may have done to us? Unseen in the steam of our heated emotions and churning thoughts is the one inescapable fact that we are the secret prisoner of anyone we wish to punish. And the more we would punish this person, the less freedom we have to be at peace with ourselves.

Here's a beautiful lesson in invisible justice, followed by an explanation that will help you let go of any revenge-filled, self-tangling thought. We need never concern ourselves with whether or not some wrongdoer will get his just due. Here's why: any person who does wrong to another is already punished. More correctly stated, anyone who acts unjustly in life instantaneously ensures that he or she will be corrected by the celestial laws that govern all such trespasses. It doesn't matter one bit that you or I don't see this law enacted to our satisfaction. The fact remains: an invisible justice system already exists. This means we need never judge anyone, nor wish some sentence of suffering upon him or her. This understanding is a gift of great freedom known only by the true few. And we can count ourselves among these liberated ones if we are willing to learn what we must.

If we look deeper into the heart of our new discoveries, we will find within them the promise of this welcome relief: We are forever relieved of the conflict and misery of wanting to penalize those who may have caused us pain. We can let go of all forms of lashing out at others because we see the truth of how things actually work. Getting wrongly caught up in the conflict of wanting to fix the bad behavior of someone else only opens the door and invites other problems and pain into our own life!

Now we can leave these people alone to their own trials and torment, for we have seen that their negative nature is one and the same as their punishment; and further we have seen that whatever weight we would try to add on to their backs only falls onto our own. To act from this higher self-awareness not only helps free us from the initial pain born of a negative reaction to what others have done to us, but it also keeps us from wrongly investing ourselves in trying to correct what is already in the throes of being corrected! And once we stop locking ourselves up with wasted judgments and their attendant, never-ending worries, we find that not only are we free, but that there's no power in the universe capable of holding us captive again.
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WonderWoman1: Invite the Facts of Life to Set You Free



Key Lesson: Without our unconscious consent, regardless of what we may have done against others, or ourselves, the past is powerless to punish us in the present moment.

Awaken the New Perception that is Pressure-Free

When we turn on a faucet connected to a hose with a small nozzle at its other end, we know from experience that we have to keep the hose in hand, otherwise we will likely get soaked chasing down the runaway end. What happens is that the water pressure, as it passes through the nozzle, transforms our ordinarily tame garden hose into the equivalent of a tethered rocket.

With this picture in mind, can you also see that when we are angry or anxious, the same principle holds true in us, as it does in the hose example, of too much pressure and too little release? Heated thoughts or runaway emotions flood through our psychic system, pick us up, and cause us to careen wildly until we crash into whatever unfortunate thing may be in our path.

Now, when it comes to our chores, and the hose runs wild, we can either turn off the water or simply widen the spray of the nozzle and our problem is solved. But when our constricted consciousness reaches critical mass and starts throwing us around, how do we resolve this pressure?

It should be clear by now that our usual approach to venting this pressure provides, at best, only temporary relief. What we really need isn't a Band-Aid, but an inner healing. This need brings us, once again, and yet in still another way, to the time-honored truth of "Know thyself." Only the understanding of our actual inner condition shows us what can free us, otherwise we wind up the servant of our own inner pressure, doing what it bids us do instead of being its master.

Commanding the pressures of this life begins with understanding that the stress we feel is first an inside job. In and of itself, there is no such thing as a "pressurized" moment. Try to see the truth of this.

The present moment flows along freely. Nothing can possibly restrict what is ever refreshing itself in the ever-new Now. This finding reveals that any pressure we come to feel in any given moment is the unhappy effect of some hidden agent within us acting on the ordinarily free-flowing content of each of these moments. In no time at all, the quiet and naturally unrestricted stream of events around us becomes a jet engine within us, rocketing us out of peace.

Now, in our physical world, whenever the garden hose gets "charged" and starts to whip around, we simply realize what has happened, reach down, and turn off the water. But in the spiritual world within us, we can't "turn off" life! It pours itself out in an eternal outflow, which brings us to an important question. If it is not the movement of life itself that restricts us, where then is the hidden bottleneck wrecking our inner world? There can only be one answer to this timeless question, although it may be stated in different ways.

It is our own narrow mind, with its narrow view of life, that pressurizes our events and their moments. This small mind, which can't be separated from the narrow world it perceives, tends to see life's events not as they are, but as what they are not according to its own unconscious demands.

In other words, the punishing pressure we feel in this life is not because of what life is but because of what we perceive life isn't -- a judgment that could neither be reached nor sustained were it not for there being within us an unseen "board of governors" that had already concluded what "best" serves us and what won't. But see the contradiction in this discovery and you will free yourself of the pressure created in its undetected presence.

Whenever you "serve" this painful pressure within you, to somehow release yourself from it by doing the dance it prescribes, it is not your interests you serve, but the hidden interests of some small self -- the one that has been "telling" you all along what your real pleasures are by punishing you when they seem out of reach!

The next time some pressure starts to build within you, learn to use it to shake yourself awake. Rouse yourself to the pure fact that whatever stress you are starting to feel doesn't really belong to you. Stand back from yourself long enough to see that pressurized thoughts and feelings can only arise from a narrow view of life that belongs to a narrow self -- a false self that you had momentarily and mistakenly taken as your own. Then just quietly drop this formerly unconscious conclusion. This same moment of letting go releases you from this restricted sense of self and the narrow life it creates.
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WonderWoman1: The First Step to Releasing Sad Regrets



Key Lesson: The real reason your regrets continue to grow is that you keep watering them with "sighs, cries, and whys"!

Start Choosing What You Really Want

Here is an exercise to help you take the first step up and away from self-punishing feelings.

This exercise is called: Is This What I Really Want?

You do not have to accept any inner condition that compromises your happiness. Read over the next sentence several times before proceeding further. It is never right to feel wrong no matter how right you may think you are to be feeling that way. Feeling one way and thinking another is what it means to live in conflict. Self-conflict is really the only suffering there is; therefore, self-unity is the only real solution that can snap the spell of self-suffering.

Here is how it works. The next time you catch yourself starting to feel bad about anything, immediately stop everything you are doing for a moment and, as simply and as honestly as you can, ask yourself: "Is this what I really want?" Try to see the whole self-picture as it is unfolding. You will discover that your thoughts are convinced that you must proceed in their direction of worry or regret or fear but you are the one who is feeling bad. These self-betraying thoughts are like a friend who invites you out to an exciting evening at the fights, and then you find yourself in the ring as the main event! I repeat: you do not have to accept any condition that compromises your happiness.

You can and must inwardly say to any conflicting thoughts or feelings that, "you are not what I want!" The clearer this whole picture becomes to you -- that suffering is stupid and must never be justified -- the stronger your right self-assertion for self-unity will become. A whole life is a happy one. Choose to have a happy life by choosing what you really want.
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WonderWoman1: There are things that are true about the spiritual life that the mental man or woman will never know. Human beings are presently bullied around, pushed from pillar to post without even knowing what is happening to them. There is a corrupted state that exists in the consciousness of humanity in which there is an acceptance of interior conflict.

When you begin at long last to awaken to your actual interior condition, that awakening includes a certain kind of intolerance, in which you will finally refuse to be taken over by negative states such as anger, anxiety, and fear. At this stage of interior development, you will make the conscious decision to no longer agree to be identified in any way with what negative states tell you is true about you. This is the true release and ultimate victory over tormenting thoughts and feelings.

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WonderWoman1: Freeze...observe , dont identify with your thoughts, let the thoughts pass by without identifying with it..
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WonderWoman1: Most of us are certain that the reason we are upset in any given situation is because of what someone else has done or not done. In general, our day-to-day interactions with other human beings are tainted with some kind of conflict, whether it is in the form of an outwardly expressed war or an inwardly suppressed resentment.

There is a passage in scripture that says, "Physician, heal thyself." As it is used here, the word "heal" means "to make whole." You cannot have an enemy without there being a reason for why you are feeling the negative state that you are feeling. When we start to wake up a little bit through our own interior work, we can see that we have unknowingly become a large vault of suppressed states, and that we have many reasons for why we feel the way we do.

The human being is the embodiment of a vast number of forces whose reasons for existing are inconceivable to the mind. But our minds give us reasons why we are in pain. Everyone, everywhere, is always singing a note, and we all have within us the exact same notes. Whenever we are around another person who is sounding a certain kind of note -- be it arrogance, anger, sorrow, exuberance, or kindness -- that same note is sounded within us. And when we start to experience something outside of our tiny spectrum of recognized feelings, we attempt to explain away this feeling that we don't want.

Other people show us things about ourselves that we are intended to feel. When we are conscious of ourselves, we can look at others and understand why they are the way they are, instead of telling them why they ought not be that way. And when we understand why other people act as they do, knowing that we have the exact same corresponding note within ourselves, then it becomes impossible to resent, judge, or punish the other person. How can I punish another person for what I am myself at that moment?

This is where "physician, heal thyself" comes in, because we discover that we are not separate from the notes that are sounded within us. Other people actually help us experience parts within ourselves that have been sleeping. The judge inside of us (that which gives us reasons why we should not be feeling what we are feeling) is the resistor of the state -- of the note that is sounded -- and it does not want to understand or be in relationship with what we actually are.

When you are aware of another person's pain, because it is also within you, then you feel genuine compassion toward that person, and the last thing you would want to do is add to that person's pain, just as you would not want to add to your own. Then a true healing takes place.

Don't try to fix others... Heal yourself. And healing yourself begins with not blaming or judging. When someone sounds a note and it begins to resonate in you, try to remember that you are being introduced to an aspect of your own consciousness that up until that moment had been asleep. And remember that it is the resistance to the state that has to go.
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WonderWoman1: Compassion and the Individual


 
The purpose of life
 ONE GREAT QUESTION underlies our experience, whether we think about it consciously or not: What is the purpose of life?  I have considered this question and would like to share my thoughts in the hope that they may be of direct, practical benefit to those who read them.
 
I believe that the purpose of life is to be happy.  From the moment of birth, every human being wants happiness and does not want suffering.  Neither social conditioning nor education nor ideology affect this.  From the very core of our being, we simply desire contentment.  I don't know whether the universe, with its countless galaxies, stars and planets, has a deeper meaning or not, but at the very least, it is clear that we humans who live on this earth face the task of making a happy life for ourselves.  Therefore, it is important to discover what will bring about the greatest degree of happiness.

How to achieve happiness
For a start, it is possible to divide every kind of happiness and suffering into two main categories: mental and physical.  Of the two, it is the mind that exerts the greatest influence on most of us.  Unless we are either gravely ill or deprived of basic necessities, our physical condition plays a secondary role in life.  If the body is content, we virtually ignore it. The mind, however, registers every event, no matter how small. Hence we should devote our most serious efforts to bringing about mental peace.
 
From my own limited experience I have found that the greatest degree of inner tranquility comes from the development of love and compassion.
 
The more we care for the happiness of others, the greater our own sense of well-being becomes. Cultivating a close, warm-hearted feeling for others automatically puts the mind at ease. This helps remove whatever fears or insecurities we may have and gives us the strength to cope with any obstacles we encounter. It is the ultimate source of success in life.
 
As long as we live in this world we are bound to encounter problems. If, at such times, we lose hope and become discouraged, we diminish our ability to face difficulties. If, on the other hand, we remember that it is not just ourselves but every one who has to undergo suffering, this more realistic perspective will increase our determination and capacity to overcome troubles. Indeed, with this attitude, each new obstacle can be seen as yet another valuable opportunity to improve our mind!
 
Thus we can strive gradually to become more compassionate, that is we can develop both genuine sympathy for others' suffering and the will to help remove their pain. As a result, our own serenity and inner strength will increase.
 
Our need for love
Ultimately, the reason why love and compassion bring the greatest happiness is simply that our nature cherishes them above all else. The need for love lies at the very foundation of human existence. It results from the profound interdependence we all share with one another. However capable and skillful an individual may be, left alone, he or she will not survive. However vigorous and independent one may feel during the most prosperous periods of life, when one is sick or very young or very old, one must depend on the support of others.
 
Inter-dependence, of course, is a fundamental law of nature. Not only higher forms of life but also many of the smallest insects are social beings who, without any religion, law or education, survive by mutual cooperation based on an innate recognition of their interconnectedness. The most subtle level of material phenomena is also governed by interdependence. All phenomena from the planet we inhabit to the oceans, clouds, forests and flowers that surround us, arise in dependence upon subtle patterns of energy. Without their proper interaction, they dissolve and decay.
 
It is because our own human existence is so dependent on the help of others that our need for love lies at the very foundation of our existence. Therefore we need a genuine sense of responsibility and a sincere concern for the welfare of others.
 
We have to consider what we human beings really are. We are not like machine-made objects. If we are merely mechanical entities, then machines themselves could alleviate all of our sufferings and fulfill our needs.
 
However, since we are not solely material creatures, it is a mistake to place all our hopes for happiness on external development alone. Instead, we should consider our origins and nature to discover what we require.
 
Leaving aside the complex question of the creation and evolution of our universe, we can at least agree that each of us is the product of our own parents. In general, our conception took place not just in the context of sexual desire but from our parents' decision to have a child. Such decisions are founded on responsibility and altruism - the parents compassionate commitment to care of their child until it is able to take care of itself. Thus, from the very moment of our conception, our parents' love is directly in our creation.
 
Moreover, we are completely dependent upon our mothers' care from the earliest stages of our growth. According to some scientists, a pregnant woman's mental state, be it calm or agitated, has a direct physical effect on her unborn child.
 
The expression of love is also very important at the time of birth. Since the very first thing we do is suck milk from our mothers' breast, we naturally feel close to her, and she must feel love for us in order to feed us properly; if she feels anger or resentment her milk may not flow freely.
 
Then there is the critical period of brain development from the time of birth up to at least the age of three or four, during which time loving physical contact is the single most important factor for the normal growth of the child. If the child is not held, hugged, cuddled, or loved, its development will be impaired and its brain will not mature properly.
 
Since a child cannot survive without the care of others, love is its most important nourishment. The happiness of childhood, the allaying of the child's many fears and the healthy development of its self-confidence all depend directly upon love.
 
Nowadays, many children grow up in unhappy homes. If they do not receive proper affection, in later life they will rarely love their parents and, not infrequently, will find it hard to love others. This is very sad.
 
As children grow older and enter school, their need for support must be met by their teachers. If a teacher not only imparts academic education but also assumes responsibility for preparing students for life, his or her pupils will feel trust and respect and what has been taught will leave an indelible impression on their minds. On the other hand, subjects taught by a teacher who does not show true concern for his or her students' overall well-being will be regarded as temporary and not retained for long.
 
Similarly, if one is sick and being treated in hospital by a doctor who evinces a warm human feeling, one feels at ease and the doctors' desire to give the best possible care is itself curative, irrespective of the degree of his or her technical skill. On the other hand, if one's doctor lacks human feeling and displays an unfriendly expression, impatience or casual disregard, one will feel anxious, even if he or she is the most highly qualified doctor and the disease has been correctly diagnosed and the right medication prescribed. Inevitably, patients' feelings make a difference to the quality and completeness of their recovery.
 
Even when we engage in ordinary conversation in everyday life, if someone speaks with human feeling we enjoy listening, and respond accordingly; the whole conversation becomes interesting, however unimportant the topic may be. On the other hand, if a person speaks coldly or harshly, we feel uneasy and wish for a quick end to the interaction. From the least to the most important event, the affection and respect of others are vital for our happiness.
 
Recently I met a group of scientists in America who said that the rate of mental illness in their country was quite high-around twelve percent of the population. It became clear during our discussion that the main cause of depression was not a lack of material necessities but a deprivation of the affection of the others.
 
So, as you can see from everything I have written so far, one thing seems clear to me: whether or not we are consciously aware of it, from the day we are born, the need for human affection is in our very blood. Even if the affection comes from an animal or someone we would normally consider an enemy, both children and adults will naturally gravitate towards it.
 
I believe that no one is born free from the need for love. And this demonstrates that, although some modern schools of thought seek to do so, human beings cannot be defined as solely physical. No material object, however beautiful or valuable, can make us feel loved, because our deeper identity and true character lie in the subjective nature of the mind.
 
Developing compassion
Some of my friends have told me that, while love and compassion are marvelous and good, they are not really very relevant. Our world, they say, is not a place where such beliefs have much influence or power. They claim that anger and hatred are so much a part of human nature that humanity will always be dominated by them. I do not agree.
 
We humans have existed in our present form for about a hundred-thousand years. I believe that if during this time the human mind had been primarily controlled by anger and hatred, our overall population would have decreased. But today, despite all our wars, we find that the human population is greater than ever. This clearly indicates to me that love and compassion predominate in the world. And this is why unpleasant events are news, compassionate activities are so much part of daily life that they are taken for granted and, therefore, largely ignored.
 
So far I have been discussing mainly the mental benefits of compassion, but it contributes to good physical health as well, According to my personal experience, mental stability and physical well-being are directly related. Without question, anger and agitation make us more susceptible to illness. On the other hand, if the mind is tranquil and occupied with positive thoughts, the body will not easily fall prey to disease.
 
But of course it is also true that we all have an innate self-centeredness that inhibits our love for others. So, since we desire the true happiness that is brought about by only a calm mind, and since such peace of mind is brought about by only a compassionate attitude, how can we develop this? Obviously, it is not enough for us simply to think about how nice compassion is! We need to make a concerted effort to develop it; we must use all the events of our daily life to transform our thoughts and behavior.
 
First of all, we must be clear about what we mean by compassion. Many forms of compassionate feeling are mixed with desire and attachment. For instance, the love parents feel of their child is often strongly associated with their own emotional needs, so it is not fully compassionate. Again, in marriage, the love between husband and wife -  particularly at the beginning, when each partner still may not know the other's deeper character very well - depends more on attachment than genuine love. Our desire can be so strong that the person to whom we are attached appears to be good, when in fact he or she is very negative. In addition, we have a tendency to exaggerate small positive qualities. Thus when one partner's attitude changes, the other partner is often disappointed and his or her attitude changes too. This is an indication that love has been motivated more by personal need than by genuine care for the other individual.
 
True compassion is not just an emotional response but a firm commitment founded on reason. Therefore, a truly compassionate attitude towards others does not change even if they behave negatively.
 
Of course, developing this kind of compassion is not at all easy! As a start, let us consider the following facts:
Whether people are beautiful and friendly or unattractive and disruptive, ultimately they are human beings, just like oneself. Like oneself, they want happiness and do not want suffering. Furthermore, their right to overcome suffering and be happy is equal to one's own. Now, when you recognize that all beings are equal in both their desire for happiness and their right to obtain it, you automatically feel empathy and closeness for them. Through accustoming your mind to this sense of universal altruism, you develop a feeling of responsibility for others: the wish to help them actively overcome their problems. Nor is this wish selective; it applies equally to all. As long as they are human beings experiencing pleasure and pain just as you do, there is no logical basis to discriminate between them or to alter your concern for them if they behave negatively.
 
Let me emphasize that it is within your power, given patience and time, to develop this kind of compassion. Of course, our self-centeredness, our distinctive attachment to the feeling of an independent, self-existent �I�, works fundamentally to inhibit our compassion. Indeed, true compassion can be experienced only when this type of self- grasping is eliminated. But this does not mean that we cannot start and make progress now.
 
How can we start
We should begin by removing the greatest hindrances to compassion: anger and hatred. As we all know, these are extremely powerful emotions and they can overwhelm our entire mind. Nevertheless, they can be controlled. If, however, they are not, these negative emotions will plague us - with no extra effort on their part! - and impede our quest for the happiness of a loving mind.
 
So as a start, it is useful to investigate whether or not anger is of value. Sometimes, when we are discouraged by a difficult situation, anger does seem helpful, appearing to bring with it more energy, confidence and determination.
 
Here, though, we must examine our mental state carefully. While itis true that anger brings extra energy, if we explore the nature of this energy, we discover that it is blind: we cannot be sure whether its result will be positive or negative. This is because anger eclipses the best part of our brain: its rationality. So the energy of anger is almost always unreliable. It can cause an immense amount of destructive, unfortunate behavior. Moreover, if anger increases to the extreme, one becomes like a mad person, acting in ways that are as damaging to oneself as they are to others.
 
It is possible, however, to develop an equally forceful but far more controlled energy with which to handle difficult situations.
 
This controlled energy comes not only from a compassionate attitude, but also from reason and patience. These are the most powerful antidotes to anger. Unfortunately, many people misjudge these qualities as signs of weakness. I believe the opposite to be true: that they are the true signs of inner strength. Compassion is by nature gentle, peaceful and soft, but it is very powerful. It is those who easily lose their patience who are insecure and unstable. Thus, to me, the arousal of anger is a direct sign of weakness.
 
So, when a problem first arises, try to remain humble and maintain a sincere attitude and be concerned that the outcome is fair. Of course, others may try to take advantage of you, and if your remaining detached only encourages unjust aggression, adopt a strong stand, This, however, should be done with compassion, and if it is necessary to express your views and take strong countermeasures, do so without anger or ill-intent.
You should realize that even though your opponents appear to be harming you, in the end, their destructive activity will damage only themselves. In order to check your own selfish impulse to retaliate, you should recall your desire to practice compassion and assume responsibility for helping prevent the other person from suffering the consequences of his or her acts.
 
Thus, because the measures you employ have been calmly chosen, they will be more effective, more accurate and more forceful. Retaliation based on the blind energy of anger seldom hits the target.
 
Friends and enemies
I must emphasize again that merely thinking that compassion and reason and patience are good will not be enough to develop them. We must wait for difficulties to arise and then attempt to practice them.
 
And who creates such opportunities? Not our friends, of course, but our enemies. They are the ones who give us the most trouble, So if we truly wish to learn, we should consider enemies to be our best teacher!
 
For a person who cherishes compassion and love, the practice of tolerance is essential, and for that, an enemy is indispensable. So we should feel grateful to our enemies, for it is they who can best help us develop a tranquil mind! Also, itis often the case in both personal and public life, that with a change in circumstances, enemies become friends.
 
So anger and hatred are always harmful, and unless we train our minds and work to reduce their negative force, they will continue to disturb us and disrupt our attempts to develop a calm mind. Anger and hatred are our real enemies. These are the forces we most need to confront and defeat, not the temporary enemies who appear intermittently throughout life.
 
Of course, it is natural and right that we all want friends. I often joke that if you really want to be selfish, you should be very altruistic! You should take good care of others, be concerned for their welfare, help them, serve them, make more friends, make more smiles, The result? When you yourself need help, you find plenty of helpers! If, on the other hand, you neglect the happiness of others, in the long term you will be the loser. And is friendship produced through quarrels and anger, jealousy and intense competitiveness? I do not think so. Only affection brings us genuine close friends.
 
In today's materialistic society, if you have money and power, you seem to have many friends. But they are not friends of yours; they are the friends of your money and power. When you lose your wealth and influence, you will find it very difficult to track these people down.
 
The trouble is that when things in the world go well for us, we become confident that we can manage by ourselves and feel we do not need friends, but as our status and health decline, we quickly realize how wrong we were. That is the moment when we learn who is really helpful and who is completely useless. So to prepare for that moment, to make genuine friends who will help us when the need arises, we ourselves must cultivate altruism!
Though sometimes people laugh when I say it, I myself always want more friends. I love smiles. Because of this I have the problem of knowing how to make more friends and how to get more smiles, in particular, genuine smiles. For there are many kinds of smile, such as sarcastic, artificial or diplomatic smiles. Many smiles produce no feeling of satisfaction, and sometimes they can even create suspicion or fear, can't they? But a genuine smile really gives us a feeling of freshness and is, I believe, unique to human beings. If these are the smiles we want, then we ourselves must create the reasons for them to appear.
 
Compassion and the world
In conclusion, I would like briefly to expand my thoughts beyond the topic of this short piece and make a wider point: individual happiness can contribute in a profound and effective way to the overall improvement of our entire human community.
 
Because we all share an identical need for love, it is possible to feel that anybody we meet, in whatever circumstances, is a brother or sister. No matter how new the face or how different the dress and behavior, there is no significant division between us and other people. It is foolish to dwell on external differences, because our basic natures are the same.
 
Ultimately, humanity is one and this small planet is our only home, If we are to protect this home of ours, each of us needs to experience a vivid sense of universal altruism. It is only this feeling that can remove the self-centered motives that cause people to deceive and misuse one another.
 
If you have a sincere and open heart, you naturally feel self- worth and confidence, and there is no need to be fearful of others.
 
I believe that at every level of society - familial, tribal, national and international - the key to a happier and more successful world is the growth of compassion. We do not need to become religious, nor do we need to believe in an ideology. All that is necessary is for each of us to develop our good human qualities.
 
I try to treat whoever I meet as an old friend. This gives me a genuine feeling of happiness.  It is the practice of compassion.
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WonderWoman1: Love and Relationships

Unless and until you access the consciousness frequency of presence, all relationships, and particularly intimate relationships, are deeply flawed and ultimately dysfunctional.

They may seem perfect for a while, such as when you are “in love,” but invariably that apparent perfection gets disrupted as arguments, conflicts, dissatisfaction, and emotional or even physical violence occur with increasing frequency.

It seems that most “love relationships” become love/hate relationships before long. Love can then turn into savage attack, feelings of hostility, or complete withdrawal of affection at the flick of a switch. This is considered normal.

If in your relationships you experience both “love” and the opposite of love — attack, emotional violence, and so on — then it is likely that you are confusing ego attachment and addictive clinging with love. You cannot love your partner one moment and attack him or her the next. True love has no opposite. If your “love” has an opposite, then it is not love but a strong ego-need for a more complete and deeper sense of self, a need that the other person temporarily meets. It is the ego’s substitute for salvation, and for a short time it almost does feel like salvation.

But there comes a point when your partner behaves in ways that fail to meet your needs, or rather those of your ego. The feelings of fear, pain, and lack that are an intrinsic part of egoic consciousness but had been covered up by the “love relationship” now resurface. 
Just as with every other addiction, you are on a high when the drug is available, but invariably there comes a time when the drug no longer works for you.

When those painful feelings reappear, you feel them even more strongly than before, and what is more, you now perceive your partner as the cause of those feelings. This means that you project them outward and attack the other with all the savage violence that is part of your pain.

This attack may awaken the partner’s own pain, and he or she may counter your attack. At this point, the ego is still unconsciously hoping that its attack or its attempts at manipulation will be sufficient punishment to induce your partner to change their behavior, so that it can use them again as a cover-up for your pain.

Every addiction arises from an unconscious refusal to face and move through your own pain. Every addiction starts with pain and ends with pain. Whatever the substance you are addicted to — alcohol, food, legal or illegal drugs, or a person — you are using something or somebody to cover up your pain.

That is why, after the initial euphoria has passed, there is so much unhappiness, so much pain in intimate relationships. They do not cause pain and unhappiness. They bring out the pain and unhappiness that is already in you. Every addiction does that. Every addiction reaches a point where it does not work for you anymore, and then you feel the pain more intensely than ever.

This is one reason why most people are always trying to escape from the present moment and are seeking some kind of salvation in the future. The first thing that they might encounter if they focused their attention on the Now is their own pain, and this is what they fear. If they only knew how easy it is to access in the Now the power of presence that dissolves the past and its pain, the reality that dissolves the illusion. If they only knew how close they are to their own reality, how close to God.

Avoidance of relationships in an attempt to avoid pain is not the answer either. The pain is there anyway. Three failed relationships in as many years are more likely to force you into awakening than three years on a desert island or shut away in your room. But if you could bring intense presence into your aloneness, that would work for you too.

Whether you are living alone or with a partner, this remains the key: being present and intensifying your presence by taking your attention ever more deeply into the Present.


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WonderWoman1
WonderWoman1: Cont.

For love to flourish, the light of your presence needs to be strong enough so that you no longer get taken over by the thinker or the pain-body and mistake them for who you are.

To know yourself as the Being underneath the thinker, the stillness underneath the mental noise, the love and joy underneath the pain, is freedom, salvation, enlightenment.

To disidentify from the pain-body is to bring presence into the pain and thus transmute it. To disidentify from thinking is to be the silent watcher of your thoughts and behavior, especially the repetitive patterns of your mind and the roles played by the ego.

If you stop investing it with “selfness,” the mind loses its compulsive quality, which basically is the compulsion to judge, and so to resist what is, which creates conflict, drama, and new pain. In fact, the moment that judgment stops through acceptance of what is, you are free of the mind. You have made room for love, for joy, for peace.

First you stop judging yourself; then you stop judging your partner. The greatest catalyst for change in a relationship is complete acceptance of your partner as he or she is, without needing to judge or change them in any way.

That immediately takes you beyond ego. All mind games and all addictive clinging are then over. There are no victims and no perpetrators anymore, no accuser and accused.

This is also the end of all codependency, of being drawn into somebody else’s unconscious pattern and thereby enabling it to continue. You will then either separate — in love — or move ever more deeply into the Now together, into Being. Can it be that simple? Yes, it is that simple.

Love is a state of Being. Your love is not outside; it is deep within you. You can never lose it, and it cannot leave you. It is not dependent on some other body, some external form.

In the stillness of your presence, you can feel your own formless and timeless reality as the unmanifested life that animates your physical form. You can then feel the same life deep within every other human and every other creature. You look beyond the veil of form and separation. This is the realization of oneness. This is love.

Although brief glimpses are possible, love cannot flourish unless you are permanently free of mind identification and your presence is intense enough to have dissolved the pain-body — or you can at least remain present as the watcher. The pain-body cannot then take you over and so become destructive of love.


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WonderWoman1
WonderWoman1: “We are unaware of this life of make-believe, simply because we live it as reality. Yet hardly any labor or habit is without affectation. We feel exalted by soap and water. We don a clean or new outfit and find ourselves walking a bit straighter, using more careful grammar, possessing more elan, more courage, and dignity. We view ourselves in the mirror and are utterly amazed at any previous conviction of our own insufficiency. A pair of spectacles may induce a contemplative, scholarly attitude, even though the wearer be illiterate. Mascara may paint tiger-stripes on a kitten. A head, filled with hideous thoughts, and distorted in shape, may appear angelic if properly coiffured.”

* * 

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WonderWoman1
WonderWoman1: “When someone tells you, ‘I love you,’ and then you feel, ‘Oh, I must be worthy after all,’ that is an illusion. That is not true. Or someone says, ‘I hate you,’ and you think, ‘Oh, God, I knew it; I’m not very worthy,’ that is not true either. Neither one of these thoughts hold any intrinsic reality. They are an overlay. When someone says, ‘I love you,’ he is telling you about himself, not you. When someone says, ‘I hate you,’ she is telling you about herself, not you.”

* * * * * *

“Now the mind, if you go back to its knowledge, has all sorts of ideas about what your true nature must be because you have read about it so much, have heard spiritual teachers talk about it, and there is a whole mystical mythology created around Truth. Of course it’s quite a shock to realize that’s not it. Whatever you think you are, that’s not it. Even if your concept is very spiritual, mystical, and otherworldly, you are not that concept.

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WonderWoman1
WonderWoman1: There is no"I"...dentification..
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WonderWoman1
WonderWoman1: “We need the willingness to lose our world. That willingness is the surrender; that willingness is the letting go. And each of us has to find what that letting go means for us, what we need to let go of. Whether it is easy or difficult does not matter in the slightest. It is the letting go that is ultimately important.”

* * * * * *

“It was actually quite odd to be walking around without all of the motivations that previously informed my life. There was still a certain mount of self-centered motivation and egoic-centered energy. But there was also an immense amount of dissolution at the level of ego and at the level of the basic energy force that is derived from ego. I walked around saying to myself, ‘Well, why should I do this? Why should I do that? I’m not really motivated to do this anymore or that anymore.’ The things I had previously loved doing did not hold the same appeal. It was not that I resisted them or hated doing them, it was just that there was an absence of the self-centered energy that had previously driven my interest in these particular pursuits.”

* * * * * *

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WonderWoman1
WonderWoman1: People report having amazing realizations about the truth, but then the next day, the next week, the next month, the next year they feel they have lost it.It is like a rocket ship that left the ground, got a few miles up into the atmosphere, and then ran out of fuel — and now it is being pulled back toward Earth.”
Wake up!! Dont be a sleepwalker..
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WonderWoman1
WonderWoman1: This is the desire and prayer of an awakened heart.

Inner peace is only sought after by the beings driven to do the work, because they are miserable living partially awake and partially asleep in the dream. For these beings, waking up from the dream becomes the only possible cure for what ails them. Realizing and Knowing Truth brings about Awakening. Truth at the highest level is very simple to know and understand intellectually. However, realizing this truth takes us thousands of incarnations in order to realize the full meaning. Of course, it is wonderful that beings think and believe whatever they want to. This is what makes the planet so varied and interesting. Beings who want to awaken and Know Truth and live in peace and harmony must desire this above all else.

Life is a dream. It takes a deep yearning to see Truth through the distractions. The distractions keep the dream hidden, making it difficult to perceive. But, if we are really tired of being tortured and unhappy in the dream, the first step is to get on our hands and knees, (metaphorically) and let go…surrender! Let go of everything we hold on to. Let go of all our attachments. Let go of fears. When letting go at first, it can be very scary because we feel vulnerable, but let go any way. You will not loose yourselves. Ask your angel of protection to be with you. Ask your angel and ethereal guides to help keep you in the light. Do this over and over again… every day if necessary, if you really desire to be awakened.

We will only know Truth and light after letting go of all our attachments. This is the only way it can happen. Part of letting go is being willing to face and complete all of our karmic lessons. When facing challenges pray and ask for help. Meditate and go for walks to help quiet the mind. Be aware of what you are feeling. Feel the emotion fully then let it go. Don’t be pulled into repetitive negative thinking that feeds lower emotions. When breaking repetitive thoughts, practice keeping thoughts in the present moment. Observe your feelings and thoughts. This is how you know where you are within yourself. Do something to shift out of the darkness if you find yourself thinking negatively. I am not saying to watch your thoughts so you can control your outer reality. I say this so you can be aware and enjoy your life no matter what the outside is doing.

 Surrender is the path to a life full of joy and love.

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WonderWoman1
WonderWoman1: Dont live in duality, no separation but living as having a Whole Mind, Whole person...
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WonderWoman1
WonderWoman1: Not living in the Ego...
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WonderWoman1
WonderWoman1: Without self knowledge, without understanding the working and functions of his machine, man cannot be free, he cannot govern himself and he will always remain a slave.From my point of view, he can be called a remarkable man who stands out from those around him by the resourcefulness of his mind, and who knows how to be restrained in the manifestations which proceed from his nature, at the same time conducting himself justly and tolerantly towards the weaknesses of others.Faith of consciousness is freedom, Faith of feeling is weakness, Faith of body is stupidity.I ask you to believe nothing that you cannot verify for yourself.Remember your self always and everywhere.By teaching others you will learn yourself.
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WonderWoman1
WonderWoman1: Calling all super heroes to study all this please....be calm in others post and chatrooms
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WonderWoman1
WonderWoman1:

 

      “It is not death that a man should fear, but he should fear never beginning to live.”



 

     

 

      “Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be. Be one.”
(Edited by WonderWoman1)
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The Lemon
The Lemon: I need help, my citric powers have been taken, and misused
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WonderWoman1
WonderWoman1: Hahaha ty hun
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WonderWoman1
WonderWoman1: Ten Steps to End Stress
Calm command can replace agitation as surely as sunshine can replace a storm.
 Examining the doubts we have about our present way is a highly intelligent act.
 Most people merely rearrange their problems, but with self-insight you can end them.
 Feel the need for something different, then let it grow by having affection for it.
 You are not required to listen to anyone who demands, “What are you doing about my problems?”
 Starting now, never again permit hard or disapproving facial expressions to intimidate you.
 Reflect often on the interesting idea of getting out of your own way.
 A quiet mind knows the answer, which means we must cease to fight anxiously for the answer.
 One day you will look calmly at a fear and say to it, “You have shaken me for the last time.”
 The one supreme power that will guarantee personal happiness is personal right thinking.
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WonderWoman1
WonderWoman1: Here is a psychological fact to understand: A weak person will try to drain the strength of a stronger individual. There are dozens of tricks by which the weak one will attempt to draw power to which he is not entitled: He may chatter endlessly, unload a sense of guilt through accusing another, boast, ask personal questions, and so on. Be alert to this. Refuse absolutely to let anyone drain your energies. At a certain point in your psychic development you can walk among the weakest of men and be the strongest of men.

"Be very careful that you do not unconsciously assume that nervous tension is power. This is vital. Watch yourself the next time you work toward some goal. Look very closely to discover tense feelings and nervous thoughts whirling around inside. Do not let them deceive you into assuming that they are creative forces; they are not. They are thieves of genuine powers. As always, your awareness of their thievery is your first fine step toward casting them out.The Greatest Secret on Earth "Happiness is yours in the here and now. The painful states of anxiety and loneliness are abolished permanently. Financial affairs are not financial problems. You are at ease with yourself. You are not at the mercy of unfulfilled cravings. Confusion is replaced with clarity. There is a relieving answer to every tormenting question. You possess a True Self. Something can be done about every unhappy condition. While living in the world you can be inwardly detached from its sorrows to live with personal peace and sanity."

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