Ladies, I got one question... Will you date me?

Live_By_Common_Sense: I need honest opinion. I know this is not reality, but I am preparing for the truth for to face reality. Thank you,

irondominator: If you want real answers, I'm afraid you'll have to go into the real world and meet real people. Most folks on wireclub will only tell you what you want to hear to make you feel better about yourself.

Live_By_Common_Sense: irondominator, no I would think of it as an opposite, since people are more comfortable to diss one another through the website, or give a good critique then in real life since there is no intimidation. People are more open online than real life.

irondominator: In real life you'll know if someone likes you, they won't avoid you. On a web site, most people are polite and nice and are going to tell you what you want to hear. Secondly, people look quite different in 3d, rather than in a 2d pic. Usually when pictures are taken, you will find your best shot. In real life, they will see you as you are.

flamingred: re feeling better about yourself thread.....iron, I always get told how beautiful my hair is , I guess they think that is what I want to hear first thing

irondominator: flamingred, It's beta-males that do that. They worship women because they think that their compliment is going to get you to like them; they're very lonely people really. It's a sad reason why the whole social media scene is based on narcissism. You keep hurling compliments to people on a daily basis and it's going to go to their head. It's going to release dopamine stores within their brain and make them needy for more. This is not what I use social media for. I don't waste my time with petty compliments from people I don't even know. In fact, some of them may not even be the sex they claim they are. This is why I only have one picture up. People who keep posting selfies of themselves are just begging for people to compliment them. Disclaimer: I may post one more pic of myself with a shirt off just to show my skin tone and my physique as one person claimed I'm sucking in my gut, which I'm not. I only have my pic up for the sole purpose of meeting fit women that want to actually meet me in person, so I do have to show my fitness.

Here's a tip for secret_asian, you need to be confident in yourself and learn to smile when you meet women and never make yourself appear to be needy or desperate. In order for you to do this though, you have to like yourself or it's just false confidence. Join a gym and get into shape. Don't try so hard by dressing fancy. I mostly wear a plain white t-shirt and jeans and I have no problem attracting women. You'll find that women will start to notice you.

Live_By_Common_Sense: Yea, I do go to the gym.. You are right, I have false confidence in myself. I do need to like myself more better. But wouldn't I like it more if girls are able to flirt with me? Or mentions to me that I am attractive to them. If they do talk to me.. I will have full of confidence. Whenever I go out sometimes there are girls who checks me out. But I don't know if I am not that attractive to get them come over to me and talk to me. Maybe these females are intimidated. But I always have in the back of my mind thinking, well I am not good looking enough. I dress fairly well. I wear blue jeans and polo shirt. I am fairly in shape, and these girls either don't have the courage to talk to me, or they are just not that interested.

irondominator: Why are you waiting for them to come talk to you? A smile from you that gets a smile back is an invitation to talk to them; but don't just march up to her after that exchange and don't be too aggressive. You want to do this with finesse sometime later by passing by them. Think of something non-intrusive to say to them. If you're at a club for instance and there is a good band playing, go by them with a confident smile and say, "This band really kicks ass!" See what kind of a response you get from her. Her response will let you know if she wants to know you more. If she doesn't sound excited, move on as if you didn't even intend to speak to her. Do not chase any women; only betas do that. The more you chase them, the more they will resist because you are showing them desperation. Once you've done what I mentioned for a while, your confidence with women will increase. Women will notice this confidence and be more interested in getting to know you. Some women play hard to get; treat them the same way. Some aren't even there to meet guys, but want to see how many guys they can attract; learn to recognize this. Always remember that if one woman doesn't want to hang with you, there are others that do; and there are a lot of women out there. One last thing. Do not ever become a regular at any kind of place. Always find new places to venture and try doing this solo, not with friends; your chances of success will be much better. If your friends notice you are interested in a certain girl, they're going to be looking at her. No girl wants to see a bunch of eyes from a group of guys that are looking at her all night. You want to be that mystery guy that no one knows, who shows up at a place for the night; never to be seen again. A lot of times the women that go to these places are regulars and they almost always go there with their girl friends. They know almost every guy there that is a regular or at least have some kind of idea of what they are about. Be the mystery guy that stands out; one they know if they don't show interest in him, he may never come back to that club again to give her a second chance.

flamingred: good lord, what a game plan !

irondominator: It's not a game plan if you are honest. It's about avoiding the pitfalls of games a woman may play with you when you are just trying to get to know them. When you walk in the shoes of a man you will know where I'm coming from. Games are when you lie about your intentions of being with someone. You just meet them for your own selfish reasons and then dump them. I do not do this and it is not part of my philosophy.

flamingred: men play as many games as women do and they are cowards, when they want to split up they cant even look a person in the face and tell them, I have heard from so many girlfriends how they just text or just dont even tell them , men are cowards that way in general

irondominator: You are generalizing. Women do the same thing to men. I gave this guy a little pep talk to help him learn to be more confident. Women destroy a mans confidence by rejecting him when he introduces himself. Men are the hunters; women are the hunted. They can accept or reject, but mostly they reject, depending on how a man presents himself. Women don't have to face this rejection. It takes a toll on a man's confidence after a while.

flamingred: oh now u are generalizing and I didnt generalize just had a typo error which i have corrected.
Who says men are always the hunters? u generalizing......with the modern generation women
do approach men and get rejected too
so please dont give me this poor men being rejected stuff, women get rejected just as much

flamingred: many times men approach at the most inappropriate times, when a group of women are obviously not looking around for men to be picked up and are busy talking , that is not the time to interrupt
men need to think and notice when it is a good time to approach

irondominator: Most of the time the men are the hunters. I can generalize because it is very true. I get a lot of attention from women. They don't ask me out, but they do make it abundantly clear that they are interested and available; plenty of flirting. I've had women come on to me, but that is rare. Quality women on a dating site will never hunt for a man because they will get so many offers, usually their mailbox will overfill. They are reluctant to make the first move because it makes them look desperate and they fear being rejected by a man. So for the most part it is up to us men to make the first move. Women only have to make themselves look pretty to get offers. They may flirt with a guy if they like him, but they still expect him to man up.

irondominator: Women tend to be in groups. Many times women go out together; they even go to the bathroom together. They will reject whether or not they are together. A good looking woman gets a lot of attention and so she has to do a lot of rejecting; she can't date them all. This rejection can take a real toll on a mans self confidence over time.

flamingred: iron u say women only have to look pretty to get offers, well this is because so many men are shallow and want a trophy to take around and show off , and maybe the men should try to meet women who aren't as pretty but have great personalities , not that men will do that

flamingred: generally speaking of course

irondominator: flamingred, a man (or woman) cannot see a personality. People can only see what's in front of their eyes. Looks are the first thing people notice about each other. That is what gets the attention of the observer; which they can now (if interested) discover their personality. This whole shallow thing is ridiculous. The way someone looks and dresses will be what determines how everyone will see them. Maybe they look hot, maybe they look ugly, maybe they look fat, maybe they look skinny, maybe they look silly (such as a weird hair style, funny looking clothes, etc.), maybe they look scary or creepy, maybe they are Emo? It's easy for someone to play the shallow card if they don't get a lot of attention from the opposite sex; as that is a defense mechanism for not getting what you want because what you want doesn't want you.

People want what they want. Maybe someone is a really good swimmer on a champion swim team and wants to meet someone who is also a really good swimmer. Does that make the person shallow? Is it unfair to people who aren't good swimmers?

Being fit and looking good are the result of hard work, discipline and making the right choices in life. Some people have been working out all their life and have been very careful to avoid many foods and sweets that many feel are delicious. They avoided sitting in front of a TV all night eating ice cream and fudge. They have worked so hard to get where they are and you call them shallow when they want to meet their equal? Really? I really thought you were smarter than that.

Looks are just an attribute. Someone who is shallow will go out with someone just for their looks alone. In other words, if the person is stupid, or has a bad personality or has BO and someone chooses them just because of the way they look, then that would be shallow. Most people (who are not shallow) will first make sure the persons looks meet their standard. Everyone has their own standards, don't you? Would you date the elephant man?

flamingred: someone choose speople just because of the way they look, then that would be shallow


these are exactly the people I am talking about, and u are projecting more of what u do into it all, yes sounds like u take care of yourself etc, and when someone talks about shallow men u assume people are talking about men like you , but that is not always the case

good looking people are not that always due to hard work , genetics sometimes produce the perfect looking person

and many people are not attracted to looks first, it could be a person sense of humor, or watching the way they treat others it is not always decided by looks

and please don't infer that I am not that intelligent as u have no idea the wattage in my brain

iron u are not always right , maybe from your point of view u think u are, but there are many ways of looking at something, and maybe not always your way

irondominator: "u are projecting more of what u do into it all"

No I'm not. Everyone who is fit, is fit because they take care of themselves. No one can sit on their ass and eat everything they want and still be fit, genetically gifted or not.

"when someone talks about shallow men u assume people are talking about men like you"

You should be more specific when you talk about shallowness. You said "so many men are shallow". "So many" is a strong set of words and to use it on men without mentioning women is not being honest. Women can be just as shallow as men. Women get a lot of offers from men and men get few offers from women; and that is by design. So women will screen out the majority of offers they get from who they think looks inferior to them. There are women who are more concerned with how much money a man makes than his looks. Like I've said before, women who date men because of his money are whores.

"genetics sometimes produce the perfect looking person"

Genetics can give someone the edge in looks, but it can also give someone an edge in personality, intelligence, talent, etc. So why demonize looks? Some people are born better looking. Some are born with a higher IQ. People should be grateful they aren't born retarded or with missing limbs. There is always room for you to improve yourself in many ways.

"many people are not attracted to looks first"

You mean some people, not many people. Usually it is people who are average or below looking who aren't too concerned with looks because they are practical. Most reasonable people don't want to be with someone who is considerably better looking than them because they are bound to be insecure. A picture is the first thing someone is going to look at on a dating site. If you don't pass the visual test, you won't even be considered.

"please don't infer that I am not that intelligent"

I wasn't implying that you weren't intelligent. I just thought you were smarter than what I originally thought. I said I thought you were smarter than that. I wasn't putting you down; so don't take offense.

"u are not always right"

If I thought I was always right, I wouldn't be open to these discussions. I always challenge what I know with other people. I have a very open mind and if someone can convince me that I am wrong about something, I will accept I am wrong gracefully; just haven't seen that here.

Anyway, this thread is going in a different direction and probably should be continued on this thread Topic: Dating which is more appropriate.

Live_By_Common_Sense: Wow, great input and rebuttal Irondominator.

Live_By_Common_Sense: So i guess, that means no? No females don't want to give me a try?

Motati: Secret, i want to know what makes you think that women will not want to date you?

Live_By_Common_Sense: Motati, i have my own insecurities.

Motati: Oh! Sorry about that.