any jokes? (Page 2)

amir501301
5 years ago Report
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Wild__
Wild__: A little boy is in the bath tub. He grabs his penis and says "Mom, is this my brain?" She says "No, not yet!"

The fastest speed of sex is 68 cuz at 69 you eat it.

The tooth brush was apparently invented by a meth addict lest it would have been called a TEETH brush.

The United States Postal Service has made a new stamp in the shape of a clitoris, but its not selling very well as most men just dont know what to do with it.
5 years ago Report
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Wild__
Wild__: A gynocologist tells a woman she cant have sex for three weeks. Her husband asks, "Well, what did your dentist say?"

What did the banana say to the vibrator? "Why are you shaking? She's gonna eat me!"

How can you tell when an auto mechanic just had sex? One of his fingers is clean.
5 years ago Report
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non miss perfect
non miss perfect: a merried cuple is celabrating their 20 universery in the restourant, the susbent thinks: "if i killed this bitch as we got merried, i would be out of the prison already
5 years ago Report
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Wild__
Wild__: A married couple talks about ways to save money. Husband says "learn to wash dishes so we can fire the maid!" Wife says "learn to eat pussy so we can fire the gardener!"

Men are getting laid more often in these tough economic times as women cant afford fresh batteries.
5 years ago Report
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scifilover
scifilover: Your momma teeth are so yellow, I can't believe it's not butter!

How do you drown a blonde? Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool

Ok those were lame
5 years ago Report
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Wild__
Wild__: <WARNING TO ALL MEN>
Female sexual predetors are using a date rape drug called "blow jobs" to lure men into these scams called "relationships." "Relationships" often lead to a long term form of servitude known as "marriage." Upon becoming "married" men no longer receive "blow jobs."

I cry at weddings as I know I aint never gonna see that guy again!

Marriage is the number one cause of divorce!
5 years ago Report
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scifilover
scifilover: You caught me!!! how do I trick men now?!?! 😥😥😥I was so good at it too.
5 years ago Report
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Wild__
Wild__: not to worry. Men can be cognizant of your plan and fall for it anyway. Such is the power of "blowjobs"
5 years ago Report
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scifilover
scifilover: And it can be enjoyed by the giver too. With no I'll intent at all. Infact, the giver can do it for purely selfish motives such as......
5 years ago Report
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Wild__
Wild__: Oh I know, as I sure do love cunnilingus!
(Edited by Wild__)
5 years ago Report
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scifilover
scifilover: Nice. I'll remember that
5 years ago Report
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Wild__
Wild__: Whats the difference between oral sex and anal sex? Oral sex makes your whole day. Anal sex makes your hole weak!
5 years ago Report
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scifilover
scifilover: Haha ain't that the truth!!!!
5 years ago Report
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Wild__
Wild__: What do you call a smart blonde? Golden retriever

What do hell hung men eat for breakfast? Well, this morning I had....
5 years ago Report
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Wild__
Wild__: A man asks his wife if he can cum in her ear. She says no cuz she might go deaf. He says no, that cant be true, I cum in your mouth all the time and you never shut the f@(k up
5 years ago Report
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scifilover
scifilover: Haha. Yep! Actually lubricates the vocal cords lol
5 years ago Report
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scifilover
scifilover: A woman walks into the store and purchases the following: 1 small box of detergent
1 Bar of soap
3 individual servings of yogurt
2 oranges
1 stick of women�s deodorant.
She then goes to the check out line.

Cashier: Oh, you must be single
Woman: You can tell that by what I bought?
Cashier: No, you're f$cking ugly!
5 years ago Report
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scifilover
scifilover: A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a case of beer, any kind except Schlitz. The bartender says, "What's wrong with Schlitz, don't you like it? The man says, "I hate that shit". Last night I drank a whole case of Schlitz and blew chunks. The bartender says, "You drink a case of any beer you're going to blow chunks". You don't understand said the man, Chunks is my dog.
5 years ago Report
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scifilover
scifilover: Cinderella wanted to go to the ball one night, but she didn't have any tampons to use and she was on the rags. Her Fairy Godmother came to the rescue and turned a pumpkin next to Cinderella's house into a tampon. The Godmother says, "Now use the tampon, but be sure to get back home before midnight or it will turn back into a pumpkin, and that wouldn't be good." Cinderella agrees and leaves the house.

Midnight comes along...no Cinderella, 1am, 2am and 3am, still no Cinderella!

Finally, 5am rolls by and Cinderella waltzes through the door and the fairy godmother jumps up. "Where the hell have you been?!?" To which Cinderella replies, "I met this amazing guy, and well, before I knew it, we got into a serious bang session. His name was Peter Peter....."
5 years ago Report
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scifilover
scifilover: A man and his wife got into bed for the night. The wife had curled up ready for sleep and the husband put his bed lamp on to read a book. As he was reading, he stopped and reached over to his wife and started fondling her p$ssy. He did this only for a very short while then stopped and went back to reading his book.

The wife got up and started stripping in front of him. The husband was confused and asked, "What the hell are doing, taking all your jammies off?" The wife replied, "You were playing with my p$ssy. I thought it was foreplay for
something a bit heavier".

The husband said, "Hell no! I was just wetting my fingers so I could turn the pages.
5 years ago Report
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Wild__
Wild__: Can I smell your vagina? No? Oh, well then it must be your feet!
5 years ago Report
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Wild__
Wild__: You can reuse a condom, but first you need to wash the f@(k out of it
5 years ago Report
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Wild__
Wild__: Whats the best part of a BJ? 20 minutes of silence.
5 years ago Report
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Wild__
Wild__: Whats it taste like when you go down on a senior citizen? Well.....depends
oh ouch
5 years ago Report
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