any jokes? (Page 2)
Wild__: A little boy is in the bath tub. He grabs his penis and says "Mom, is this my brain?" She says "No, not yet!"
The fastest speed of sex is 68 cuz at 69 you eat it.
The tooth brush was apparently invented by a meth addict lest it would have been called a TEETH brush.
The United States Postal Service has made a new stamp in the shape of a clitoris, but its not selling very well as most men just dont know what to do with it.
Wild__: A gynocologist tells a woman she cant have sex for three weeks. Her husband asks, "Well, what did your dentist say?"
What did the banana say to the vibrator? "Why are you shaking? She's gonna eat me!"
How can you tell when an auto mechanic just had sex? One of his fingers is clean.
non miss perfect: a merried cuple is celabrating their 20 universery in the restourant, the susbent thinks: "if i killed this bitch as we got merried, i would be out of the prison already
Wild__: A married couple talks about ways to save money. Husband says "learn to wash dishes so we can fire the maid!" Wife says "learn to eat pussy so we can fire the gardener!"
Men are getting laid more often in these tough economic times as women cant afford fresh batteries.
scifilover: Your momma teeth are so yellow, I can't believe it's not butter!
How do you drown a blonde? Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool
Ok those were lame
Wild__: <WARNING TO ALL MEN>
Female sexual predetors are using a date rape drug called "blow jobs" to lure men into these scams called "relationships." "Relationships" often lead to a long term form of servitude known as "marriage." Upon becoming "married" men no longer receive "blow jobs."
I cry at weddings as I know I aint never gonna see that guy again!
Marriage is the number one cause of divorce!
Wild__: not to worry. Men can be cognizant of your plan and fall for it anyway. Such is the power of "blowjobs"
scifilover: And it can be enjoyed by the giver too. With no I'll intent at all. Infact, the giver can do it for purely selfish motives such as......
Wild__: Whats the difference between oral sex and anal sex? Oral sex makes your whole day. Anal sex makes your hole weak!
Wild__: What do you call a smart blonde? Golden retriever
What do hell hung men eat for breakfast? Well, this morning I had....
Wild__: A man asks his wife if he can cum in her ear. She says no cuz she might go deaf. He says no, that cant be true, I cum in your mouth all the time and you never shut the f@(k up
scifilover: A woman walks into the store and purchases the following: 1 small box of detergent
1 Bar of soap
3 individual servings of yogurt
1 stick of women�s deodorant.
She then goes to the check out line.
Cashier: Oh, you must be single
Woman: You can tell that by what I bought?
Cashier: No, you're f$cking ugly!
scifilover: A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a case of beer, any kind except Schlitz. The bartender says, "What's wrong with Schlitz, don't you like it? The man says, "I hate that shit". Last night I drank a whole case of Schlitz and blew chunks. The bartender says, "You drink a case of any beer you're going to blow chunks". You don't understand said the man, Chunks is my dog.
scifilover: Cinderella wanted to go to the ball one night, but she didn't have any tampons to use and she was on the rags. Her Fairy Godmother came to the rescue and turned a pumpkin next to Cinderella's house into a tampon. The Godmother says, "Now use the tampon, but be sure to get back home before midnight or it will turn back into a pumpkin, and that wouldn't be good." Cinderella agrees and leaves the house.
Midnight comes along...no Cinderella, 1am, 2am and 3am, still no Cinderella!
Finally, 5am rolls by and Cinderella waltzes through the door and the fairy godmother jumps up. "Where the hell have you been?!?" To which Cinderella replies, "I met this amazing guy, and well, before I knew it, we got into a serious bang session. His name was Peter Peter....."
scifilover: A man and his wife got into bed for the night. The wife had curled up ready for sleep and the husband put his bed lamp on to read a book. As he was reading, he stopped and reached over to his wife and started fondling her p$ssy. He did this only for a very short while then stopped and went back to reading his book.
The wife got up and started stripping in front of him. The husband was confused and asked, "What the hell are doing, taking all your jammies off?" The wife replied, "You were playing with my p$ssy. I thought it was foreplay for
something a bit heavier".
The husband said, "Hell no! I was just wetting my fingers so I could turn the pages.