 Friends         | lookin to meet some fascinating, interesting folk. I love music and used to play in a band(currently teaching ESL, love being active and jammin every chane i get, lets make some tunes, karoke is my fetish  sonicgrowth: Hangover 3 almost out, yeah baby, Between three ferns with Zach Galafunakis 27 days ago • Report • Link  0 sonicgrowth: Its December already and its slightly cold now in Taizhou China with my sweetheart. I am getting a scooter for my birthday yeah! sonicgrowth to fanli5216: I'm lost without you, so I continue to fall to a fate that I never thought would be possible but I have faith you will check this and we can have some communications because I love you to much to bare . I'm missing you every hour of every day. Wish we could talk soon, I never meant to make you upset because I'm fully committed you. Love you sweetie   sonicgrowth started a new conversation: Going to Thailand is the greatest adventure ever, do not let the Hangover 2 fool you!!! in Travel sonicgrowth to fanli5216: Hi Hon, i just wokeup it June 5th. I am so thankful you have some forgiveness and you talk to me. I was so foolish and i am changing my ways cause i care for you too much. I had talk with Josh cause he called me once i was finished talking to you. J and Harika got offered contract from which seems like good timing! He was in Japan near Osaka and about to have 6 hour interview and the Japanese university spend all the money to fly him there so they must really be interested in him. But he thinks it could be too difficult for Harika to get work visa and work there, he thinks Ningbo could be place they go.. I read your last poem and its touching, it can still make me sad and it has moments where i think you are trying to put it into learning experience. It is an inspiring poem and to open our eyes is part of learning. I think if we are too closed off then life can be more difficult, also if we put too much faith in something and live in future it can have a cost. The buddhist teaching always talks about living in the now and I think this could be the best path. I want to live in the now with you forever. I miss you. BUSH LYRICS "Baby Come Home" i ask myself what i think of this moment i ask myself if i let you down i can’t believe that you’re in my system i can’t believe that you’re in my arms shall we dance before the ambulance comes shall we let the rain fall over us shall we sing a settlement song should have been who i was all along (all along) let your mind keep you strong it’s too late you’re long gone it’s too late we’re undone i find you all by yourself on the street again baby come home again baby come home again it’s dangerous cause the people are struggling it’s dangerous cause you’re hard to see i want to make everything better i want to make you believe i lost myself to the sea of memories i lost myself to irreverent dreams i lost myself when i first met you i lost myself more than i ever knew it’s too late you’re long gone it’s too late we’re undone i find you all by yourself on the street again baby come home again baby come home again baby come home again all for your love for your love all for you all for your love for your love all for you it’s too late you’re long gone it’s too late we’re undone i find you all by yourself on the street again baby come home again baby come home again baby come home again baby come home baby baby come home coming home coming home coming home sonicgrowth to fanli5216: I see your postings and i have mixed feelings and it brings me down to think how your feeling and how I did one thing that i can regret so dearly. I cant change the past and i can only live in the present and plan for the future and i am in most grief cause i made the mistake and it is only me to blame. I lost the trust, i have lost almost all hope and all i can do is prey that things can be figured out again and earn some trust again, i need a resurrection from God himself. Miracles do happen in life and when i was sick and lost all hope God was there to protect me and guide me and an angel was so close to me that i was rescued and brought back from my own personal hell. If i could know i put my angel through hell then i will plunge down into the depths and i will ask God to give that pain to me and me alone. Alas i felt relieved even for a second that you said thanks i told you, because you deserve to know truth and at this point you deserve more, you deserve the best and right now i am one of the worst, i want to climb back up again but i get depressed and fall back down sometimes as i miss the mark and when i get discouraged. At first i had more hope i truly did but i am naturally optimistic person and this made me even more foolish in the process. In the Madness My heart was shifted and my brain was dead Alone in madness no rules ahead i layed the cards down and as i wept you gave me silence and i knew id led the panic is growing as you claim were done toil and trouble is my only son losing you kills my heart it was never a waste of time from the start I was bleeding last night over you crying to the stars could i ever see through my soul could be no more but i march on knowing its behind and afar the balance is exhausted and splayed around i curse this nightmare as my heart is bound its bound to you forever more i plead my case but without a score listen to virtue in the singers voice they sing with reason as they made their choice heartbreak happens and i never meant to bring this vile feeling it just goes on and stings I was bleeding last night over you crying to the stars could i ever see through my soul could be no more but i march on knowing its behind and afar lost in the sound and memory of time and space the colors lose their light and i cannot even really taste losing it all without no trace but i can be sure that i regain my place with you Within my Myst The gentle waves are calling for her and she knows where they lie The open green and space are what she cant deny dreams of life and love and fortune are all at her feet and she will find all these desires for she is as good as can be The battered bones of life they drown me in my hollowed life I was so happy and reborn but now but a shadow cast the sun it dried me out completely and my actions were but wrong the peaceful day it waits around the corner for those that know how long Borders lie in between the ones close with a vital love But merely borders they dont separate them entirely Making a move to save them could be all it takes a Leap of faith in Love for life it will be saved I treasured her but lost my way i lost the green pasture so sweet and crumbled in my toiled world yet i will never accept defeat stricken with shame and heartbreak i feel i must persist the waves are rocky on this twisted shore deep within my myst  sonicgrowth to fanli5216: i didnt even see you wrote this three months ago, you wanted to keep 2011 and let 2012 us be apart. I guess you have reasons, i guess the first time i put you through hell when i was sick and then now you tell me its over, you give me such little hope and then tell me you wanna start new relationship and it was waste of time. Its so complicated now, i post on facebook how i feel and matt was phoning me, i dont even wanna talk to him just you. But you wont talk to me anymore, you said i shouldnt contact you and you said i made you cry so hard lastnight. Its June 1st I asked you do you hate me, you said yes but you could not say forever. Then i was just being mean and saying, why you talk with me then? I pushed it because im hurt, i dont know what to expect from you now. i dont know what to expect at all anymore after you were my world. people tell me to give you time, i am impatient person. its lonely friday night, i played guitar with old high school friend and have 10 year high school reunion tomorrow, it doesnt matter its not exciting, the most exciting thing was when i would be able to contact you like when i got my new phone and i could phone you from almost anywhere with it. I am foolish guy sonicgrowth to fanli5216: Hello Sweetie I think it is possible for me to work in Ontario or even Quebec because there is always jobs for my feild advertised there. When we no more about your Quebec future then I can apply. Im glad you like studying French and that you are spending your time well. I am doing better and I am lots more calm and peaceful which means I have imrpoved compared to before Thailand when I could get frustrated easily. It still happens little but I think I am finally starting to grow better. I love how you still write on wireclub, your posts are such a great surprise and love to read it. Your skills as a writer are excellent, even you doubt it like when we talked lastnight. I am so happy that we can chat everyday too and I always picture next year when we can have a reunification. This will give me the best feeling in the world and I think I can be invincable from that time. Love you and talk with you soon! sonicgrowth to fanli5216: Hello Lily Your journal is special and is in my heart for it will forever remind me what happened and the hell that I must have imagined and put you through. You were so strong and remained so strong, I know some things that the company would not allow you to be close to me and I know that I was devasted without you. I was so lost and so alone and just so isolated, after that I had mood swings and temparary insanity as I suffered from uncontrollable bi polar disorder. It means that a true psychological issue was upon me and I feel so bad about it. I did feel like something evil was inside me and I was losing my mind. You kept me going and kept my grip from dying out. I am so blessed that I met you, I don't care anymore about anything as long as I can please you and be there for you in the near future. I freaked out, I went mad and I know that also lost you at some point but we overcame and we can overcome anything in the future we know now Thank you for writing, thank you for inspiring me day to day and blessing me with your amazing qualities. I am forever grateful, although acted so strange I hope you can one day find it in your heart to forgive me and we can go on the same path we were before the holiday. You are the most wonderful and important person, I care about your safety and want you to be happy still. We are far apart but it can just be temporary and we can move closer to each other day by day. My hope is guided by your eyes and the love that was given can never be undone cause you are my sole sweetheart of eternity. sonicgrowth to fanli5216: I like your sweet profile and picture, the color matches the trees perfectly. On Wireclub you can make groups and share many things, even upload videos and photos, we should upload from Thailand. My sweet little china/thai(photo) girl xo |
