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MontanaMatt: Wanted: Someone to hand feed me Doritos so my fingers don't get orange. No weirdos!

MontanaMatt: What kind of underwear should you wear during an eclipse?






Fruit of the Moon! 🤣🤣🤣

MontanaMatt: That's the Atlantic Ocean.....80 ft from my bus! At the Tortuga Music Festival! (Fort Lauderdale!) The fans will actually be standing in sand for the show! Very cool!" And then back to reality. Tomorrow we land in Paducah Kentucky....stopping only for the eclipse! 😯

I could live like this! Palm trees everywhere! 🌴🌴🌴

MontanaMatt: Back on the road! Out with Charles Wesley Godwin for the next 6 weeks. Pretty much all over the country except the Northwest. They gave me a really nice bus for this trip! Only a little over 220,000 miles. It's beautiful and everything works like it should. 🙂
So as always.... go online and check the schedule. And shoot me a message if we're gonna be driving through your backyard and you wanna hang! If it's at all possible, I'll make it happen!

MontanaMatt: Well, it certainly happens fast!
I got a call at 10:30 Thursday night...... And by noon Friday I was in a rental car with all my gear headed for Nashville Indiana. And I'm now the bus driver for Flogging Molly until the 18th of March. Currently in Green Bay Wisconsin! Check their schedule and if we're gonna be in your backyard.... shoot me a message and maybe we can arrange a hang! ✌️

MontanaMatt: My grief counselor died yesterday. 😥
Luckily he was very good at his job....so I don't really give a shit! 🤣

MontanaMatt: Well shit.
Prostate issues are not for the faint of heart! This is a level of misery I'm not familiar with.
😢 I'm down to about 2 1/2 hours of sleep every night. I can't do anything resembling a functional existence. Not even close.
The pain has progressed from being pretty bad when I have to pee....to horrible at every moment. I just left the doctor again.... and another urine sample shows.....her words...."an alarming amount of blood in my urine" Yay me! But.... the standard protocols don't allow them to skip steps. And of course Medicare will not allow them to skip steps unless I'm willing to foot the bill from this point going forward. And I guess I understand that. If we skip a couple of steps.... I'm going to be in the hospital immediately for one of 2 or 3 invasive procedures. I nearly started crying just listening to her describing those options. And she told me she has participated in those procedures..... many times.... and has never left that room without tears in her eyes. Must be pretty bad if a seasoned doctor is crying as she's walking out of the room.
So as much as this sucks..... I have to follow the standard treatment path. At this point that means pills until the 1st of March. But if this first round of meds is working.... I should know that by Monday. These meds won't fix the problem..... but they'll make simply existing very doable. 🤷‍♂️
So....I'm still alive.... although at this point, it feels like I'm hanging on by a thread. And I guess I shouldn't be surprised. I've rarely found myself on the easiest path. Not sure why I would expect that now? 🤔
So now it's back to bed. Hopefully, I can get a little bit of sleep. She did offer me a very effective and well proven sleep aid. But she said with your current issues..... that probably means peeing the bed over and over. No thanks! ☹️

MontanaMatt: Elephants weigh 200 lbs at birth.
That makes them the largest babies on the planet...... except for those guys that are mad about Taylor Swift getting one minute of camera time in a three hour football game.

MontanaMatt: I'm not saying Matt has an enlarged prostate..... but if I put a hat on that thing I could drive in the carpool lane!
Gettin old is so much better than not getting old. Most days....I think. I'll know more tomorrow morning after my appointment with the specialist. I talked to him on the phone the other day and asked him..... What are my chances of this being prostate cancer and not just enlarged? And that fckr told me straight up. Pretty much 50/50!
Dude! You need to go back to med school for a refresher course on bedside manner!
Of course I hate when Dr's beat around the bush...but I wouldn't have been offended at all if he had told me we need to wait for test results before I can really say anything.
So yeah. I can't wait to get these tests behind me (pun intended) so I can maybe sleep again. Please? I really try not to worry about these things until there's something to worry about..... but I did bury a little brother in 09 that died from prostate cancer. That family history greatly increases my chances of having to deal with the cancer thing.
And my employer is assigning buses as we speak. And they won't assign me a bus until I have something concrete to tell them. So I need some answers or I 'll end up driving a pc of shit bus...or worse....end up on the road with the WWE! ACK!
So looking for answers in the morning.
Wish me luck! 💚

MontanaMatt: Other than the occasional tornado.... it's been a pretty mild winter in Nashville. And that's all about to change. Looking at a high on Monday of 8..... and a high on Tuesday of 4. With the nighttime lows well below zero.
Not a great time of year to be living in a metal box. 🥶 But i've added an electric blanket and some beautifully thick flannel sheets to my sleep game....so I should be OK.
And the Hampton Inn is about a mile down the road.... so as a last resort I can always suffer in luxury there.....If needed. 🤷‍♂️

MontanaMatt: I've got too much time on my hands..... so I joined an amateur autopsy club. Wednesday night is our first meeting. It's open mic night!

MontanaMatt: RIP Kenny! When I first bought a motorcycle..... Kenny rode right behind me for my first few thousand miles.....just to make sure I wasn't doing anything too stupid.
A few years after that Kenny had a stomach reduction surgery. Then lost somewhere around 180 pounds. And was absolutely shocked how much faster his motorcycle was! 🤣
Then he went in to have a considerable amount of extra skin removed. That led to probably the strangest conversation I've ever been involved in. Pretty happy that conversation didn't occur in a public place. Charlie.... another dear friend..... decided he wanted to have a vest made.... With Kenny's extra skin! 😳 I decided. I was going to put in an order for a wallet. Pretty hilarious conversation!
And Kenny did think it was pretty funny!
I'm gonna miss you buddy. 😢
Rest easy my friend. 💔

MontanaMatt: The "Monta" Bar! Ok then! Yee haw bitches! HAPPY NEW YEAR'S! I really do love you all! You've all made my life more than doable! And I will never forget it! ❤️

MontanaMatt: Well that could have been much worse. I survived the tornado that was in this neighborhood.... and my camper mostly did. The massive wind partially tore the awning off of the roller that's used to roll it in or out. But it appears with some industrial-strength adhesive I can put that back together. One tiny kink in 1 of the supports..... But I think I've got that straightened out enough to where it will work. I did have to venture into the woods to find my outdoor lounge chair... but at least I found it and it's in one piece. And my camper was peppered by flying debris..... but it appears none of it penetrated the skin at all. And somehow the wind opened up the emergency exit that is between the bunks. Not exactly sure how that's possible..... other than the latch mechanism is a piece of shit. Of course that bottom bunk is used for just storage and it's full of crap.... So I need to move a bunch of junk when I crawl in there before I can put the window back together. But again it could have been much worse. My next door neighbor has 2 trees on top of his mobile home... as do dozens of other neighbors in this mobile home park. And so far the official death count is holding at 6.....but widespread total destruction. Obviously It's pretty damn sad that people lose their lives in a weather event. And 2 of those were children 3 or younger. 😢 One of those children.... a 2 year old.... was found sheltered by his mother's body. But when the neighbors mobile home literally leaves the ground and comes down on top of your mobile home.... a mother's best efforts at protecting her child wasn't enough. And that's just profoundly sad.
So I have some work to do to put this place back into a presentable condition. And I guess actually happy I was in Charlotte North Carolina over the weekend. Not much I could have done to prevent anything that happened here.... but I'm sure I would have been out in it trying. And the tornado hit during daylight hours. I usually don't care what those tornadoes might do to me.... as long as I can see it coming. For some probably misguided notion I feel like at least I have a chance if I see it coming.
I probably need to rethink that. I see now that that could find me being quite complacent. 🤷‍♂️

MontanaMatt: Well yesterday was a very long day.... But I made it back to Montana in one piece. Physically.
Emotionally? Not so much. I have to deal with 3 of the worst airports in this country. The Nashville airport is a disaster in every way. And I booked an 8 AM flight thinking I would get out of there before the place went completely to hell. Fail! Probably 40000 people there at 6 o'clock in the morning.... all trying to catch a flight out of town. Took over 90 minutes just to clear security. And then of course I had a 90 minute layover in Dallas. Pretty easily the biggest disaster for an airport in this country. Of course my connecting flight was at concourse B. That's the concourse that's on the other side of a 6 lane freeway. 😳 And of course the people movers were out of order. That's well over a half mile hike. Wonderful hiking opportunities is the last thing on my to do list these days. In fact when I get an invite to go somewhere..... my only question is.....Are there stairs? And if there are I'm probably not going! And the Billings Montana airport has had the same issue for 45 years. They just can't get any baggage from the plane to the baggage carousels in a reasonable amount of time. And it actually worked out okay this time. By the time I collected my bags and walked out the door my mom and dad were pulling up right in front of me. And then I had to refrain from slapping the shit out of the rent a cop outside. Of course it's a passenger load and unload only area. And he was screaming at the driver of every vehicle that stopped to pick somebody up. He directed one of those rants at my dad.... Who was parked there for literally 30 seconds....... And i'd had enough. I took 2 steps and smacked the sign that said passenger load and unload only.... And told him to shut the fuck up and read the sign. I told him he obviously doesn't have the temperament for that job so he should probably go guard a grade school somewhere. He wasn't very happy with me but he shut up long enough for us to get out of there... And then I'm sure he went right back to yelling at people for no good reason.
So it's gonna be a wonderful stay here. My sister retired a few weeks ago.... And her and her husband just moved in to their freshly built home about 7 or 8 miles outside of town. So I'll spend some time hanging out with them. And this Friday is my brother's last day working.... So I'll be heading to both of his retirement parties. Should be a good time! And plenty of time hanging out with the folks. I think I fly out of here on either the third or the fourth. 😀

MontanaMatt: Well I find myself in Charlotte North Carolina today. 🤷‍♂️ Quick 30 hour trip....total.... including 10 hours in a nice hotel.... and I'm gonna pocket about $1500! Hey can we do this twice a week? I'm in!

MontanaMatt: Well the Roanoke Virginia airport is a pretty sleepy place at 2 AM. One police officer sitting in his car out front.... one guy following his floor polisher around the building.....and me! At least the restrooms are open! And the floor polisher told me everything wakes up right at 4 AM. Then I'm off to Atlanta for a 2 hour layover.... and then back up to Nashville. I should be back in my camper and asleep by 10 AM!
Unfortunately it's probably gonna be about a 2 hour nap..... and then I have to go see my doctor. I think I may have acquired some lung damage during my bus fire adventure.
😲 And yes it sucks. My lungs pretty much feel like hot garbage. And I have a pretty consistent really deep and disgusting cough that I've never experienced before. So I'm expecting my doctor will send me out for lung x-rays pretty much immediately. And we'll go from there. 🤷‍♂️
So I apologize for my absence. When I got back home after 30 days on the road I was pretty wrecked. It's been pretty much sleep and some laundry. Followed by more sleep. I told my employer I really needed a week off of the road.... and then I'd be ready for the big push to the finish of the season. They made it 4 days without calling....and that's why I find myself virtually alone in the Roanoke Virginia airport. But I'm not gonna complain. This very quick trip more than pays for my flight to Montana for Christmas and New Year's Eve.
And I'll get some sleep when I get back to Nashville. Ya right! 🤣

MontanaMatt: One more show! Tonight in Vancouver British Columbia. Then I dropped the gang at the airport Sunday morning and head for Nashville. And the weather has cleared enough that I do get to cruise through my hometown in Montana and spend some time with the family.
Currently hanging out at the Swartz Bay ferry terminal.... and should be boarding the ferry soon. Pretty expensive proposition paying for a 45 foot bus and 7 passengers! $370 ......one way! I paid for both directions but the tour manager is going to reimburse me with cash. 🙂

MontanaMatt: From the middle of downtown Los Angeles to the middle of downtown San Francisco! 🤯

MontanaMatt: Ugh..... and I'm well aware I've been saying that a lot lately. Los Angeles today. Right in the middle of downtown. This time the venue did mark off plenty of parking spots. I had all the room in the world.... If those 5 cars hadn't ignored the no parking signs. 3 of them got lucky and showed up before the tow truck. 2 of them are gonna have to spend a bunch of money to get their vehicle out of hock. Bummer.
If you're old enough to drive a vehicle you should be old enough to read a sign. And the signs were huge. Stevie Wonder would have seen those signs! And once again they can't tow a vehicle until there's a ticket placed on it. So you have to wait an hour and a half for parking enforcement to ticket the vehicle.... And then another 2 hours for a tow truck to show up. And I was a mental midget the second I pulled up in front of that venue. I really needed to park that bus and get to bed.
I really didn't think i'd ever see anything uglier than New York City to drive a bus around.... but Los Angeles gives them a pretty solid run for their money. Just a shocking number of people driving around.
But leaving Phoenix this morning might have been worth it. A spectacular sunrise in my mirrors.... and the full moon with Venus hovering nearby out my windshield. Pretty spectacular in every direction! 😍

MontanaMatt: So I was on the bus and ready to leave Denver at 3:30 this morning.... exactly as planned. But the tour manager was 30 minutes late getting back to the bus. Blessing in disguise!
The plan was to drive over I 70 West of Denver and end up in Moab Utah this morning. Him being late gave me screwing around time which I used to check road conditions and weather over Vail pass. Somewhere between 8 inches and 2 feet of snow with a 30 mile for our wind. Yeah that ain't happening on my watch.
So I told him about that when he got on the bus and he immediately said...well that's the only way to get to Moab Utah. I am aware. Yes we have to find another place to spend the night. But he'd already paid a 1000 bucks for airbnb for the night in Moab. Bummer.... But I don't think there's anything you can say that's gonna make me drive over Vail pass in the middle of the night.... With those road and weather conditions. So he sat there for a few minutes formulating his argument..... And I was doing the same. And all of a sudden all of the weather apps on my phone flashed a Vail pass closed warning. And he got them on his phone at the same time.
So we're in Santa Fe New Mexico! 🤣
And I got several thank you's and apologies before we got here. And he told me he would never try to convince me to do something like that again. It's my bus and my rules.... when it comes to route finding.
So we're all good! And headed to Phoenix in the morning. Where it's supposed to be in the mid-eighties tomorrow! Yay! I don't have to wear pants!

MontanaMatt: Minneapolis last night.... Omaha Nebraska for a break today.... And Denver tomorrow. And then Phoenix on Saturday night. Then 4 shows up the West Coast before we end the tour in Victoria and Vancouver British Columbia. Los Angeles... San Francisco.... Portland and then Seattle up the coast. All done on the 4th of November when I drop them at the airport in Vancouver. Then I have 5 days to get back to Nashville...... where I have insisted on a week off. I just can't do 30 days all over 2 countries...and then do a 24 hour turn around and go do it again. I'm old dammit! It is fun and the money is ridiculous.... but I have to have an occasional breather. And I don't think that's too much to ask. I actually told management to lose my number for a week.... and we'll see if they can stick to that. I highly doubt it but maybe they'll surprise me. Please?
This group I'm out with is a lot of fun.... and they really are exceptional people. They are all very French so the language barrier is challenging at times but we make it work. And I'm actually learning a little bit of French! 🤷‍♂️
But please don't ask me to prove that! I'll just pretend I didn't hear you! 🤣

MontanaMatt: Since we can't use plastic straws anymore I've just been choking turtles to death with my bare hands. 🤣

MontanaMatt: Montreal for the next 5 days....sort of. We are leaving Wednesday morning to Quebec City for a show.... but keeping these rooms and we will come back here after the show early Thursday morning. And then rolling out of here Saturday headed headed for Chicago. 🤷‍♂️

MontanaMatt: Can someone post the new Chris Stapleton tune for everybody to enjoy? I'm on my phone so I can't make it happen. It's called "White Horse"
....and turn it up! It's spectacular!