wave555: Got an x-ray today and they found you in my heart. The Doctor said if I took it out, I would die because I could not live without you. Give this to everyone you care about, including me if you care. Try to collect 12 - its not easy!
karlakalena: RUT ROH...
A man goes to a party and has too much to drink. His friends plead with him to let them take him home. He says no, he only lives a mile away.
About five blocks from party, the police pull him over for weaving and ask him to get out of the car and walk the line. Just as he starts, the police radio blares out a notice of a robbery taking place in a house just a block away. The police tell the party animal to stay put, they will be right back and they hop a fence and run down the street to the robbery.
The guy waits and waits and finally decides to drive home. When he gets there, he tells his wife he is going to bed, and to tell anyone who might come looking for him that he has the flu and has been in bed all day.
A few hours later the police knock on the door. They ask if Mr. Smith is there and his wife says yes. They ask to see him and she replies that he is in bed with the flu and has been so all day.
The police have his driver's license They ask to see his car and she asks why. They insist on seeing his car, so she takes them to the garage.
She opens the door. There sitting in the garage is the police car, with all its lights still flashing.
karlakalena: after being in surgery and us stressing for 3 hours they wheel Uncle Gene out all bright eyed and busy tailed it went well he is in severe pain just put him to bed Dr says Port Surgery should be a success...ty all for your prayers ......s to you all...
karlakalena: Uncle Gene and I along our journey together 6 years have met a few people as we go places this one special lady her name is MIA she just loves Uncle Gene and always gives him big hugs we usually go every Monday...she gave me her number so I could keep her posted about him...tonight I called her to let her know how he did yadda yadda....she says to me I tell my kids how my day goes every day today her 11 year old says " Mom today is the 21st that lady should be calling you about Uncle Gene....that touched my heart....because to EVERYBODY he is UNCLE GENE..
karlakalena: Say another prayer for my Uncle Gene as tomorrow he has another procedure done they are putting the port in for his Dylasis he is such a trooper and is handleing it all well..
- Morris Schwartz is dying and is on his deathbed. He is with his nurse, his
wife, his daughter and 2 sons, and knows the end is near. So he says to
"Bernie, I want you to take the Beverly Hills houses."
"Sybil, take the apartments over in Los Angeles Plaza."
"Hymie, I want you to take the offices over in City Center."
"Sarah, my dear wife, please take all the residential buildings downtown"
The nurse is just blown away by all this, and as Morris slips away, she
says to the wife, "Mrs. Schwartz, your husband must have been such a hard
working man to have accumulated so much property."
Sarah replies, "Property ......the schmuck had a newspaper route."
tenderralph: X Got an x-ray today and they found you in my heart.The Doctor said if I took it out, I would die because I could not live without you. Give this too everyone you care about, including me if you care, try too collect 12 its not easy xxx ♥
A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down. The waiter, who is also the owner, walks up to the blind man and hands him a menu. "I'm sorry, sir, but I am blind and can't read the menu. Just bring me a dirty fork from a previous customer. I'll smell it and order from there."
A little confused, the owner walks over to the dirty dish pile and picks up a greasy fork. He returns to the blind man's table and hands it to him. The blind man puts the fork to his nose and takes in a deep breath.
"Ah, yes, that's what I'll have -- meatloaf and mashed potatoes."
Unbelievable, the owner thinks as he walks toward the kitchen. The cook happens to be the owner's wife. He tells her what had just happened.
The blind man eats his meal and leaves.
Several days later, the blind man returns and the owner mistakenly brings him a menu again.
"Sir, remember me? I'm the blind man."
"I'm sorry, I didn't recognize you. I'll go get you a dirty fork."
The owner retrieves a dirty fork and brings it to the blind man.
After another deep breath, the blind man says, "That smells great. I'll take the macaroni and cheese with broccoli."
Walking away in disbelief, the owner thinks the blind man is screwing around with him and tells his wife that the next time the blind man comes in, he's going to test him.
The blind man eats and leaves.
He returns the following week, but this time the owner sees him coming and runs to the kitchen.
He tells his wife, "Sue, rub this fork on your panties before I take it to the blind man."
Sue complies and hands her husband the fork. As the blind man walks in and sits down, the owner is ready and waiting.
"Good afternoon, sir, this time I remembered you and I already have the fork ready for you."
The blind man puts the fork to his nose, takes a deep whiff, and says, "Hey I didn't know that Sue worked here..."
karlakalena: I know you guys are probably sick of me posting pics but I am so happy in a 9-10 almost back to my weight before babies were even thought of and with each of them I gained at least 60 lbs per kid... and my kids are both over 25 LOL... all these years but finally able to do it....
karlakalena: ♡♥I believe that we are who we choose to be. Nobody’s going to come and save you, you’ve got to save yourself. Nobody’s going to give you anything. You’ve got to go out and fight for it. Nobody knows what you want except for you. And nobody will be as sorry as you if you don’t get it. So don’t give up on your dreams.♡♥
karlakalena: I have a question ok older women are called cougers...what is the women older then cougars called? I heard it once can't remember...
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A loving couple was celebrating their 25th wedding anniversary, privately, at home with a couple of bottles of champagne. A bit tipsy and feeling very intimate the husband turns to his wife and asks, "Tell me truthfully, have you ever been unfaithful to me?" "Well," she replied, "since you ask, to tell you the truth I have been unfaithful on three occasions." "What? How could you?" "Let me tell you about it," she said. "The first time was back when we were first married. You needed open heart surgery and we didn't have the money, so I went to bed with the surgeon and got him to operate for free." "Gee! That was noble of you. And, besides, I guess I should be grateful. But, tell me, what about the second time?" "Do you remember that you wanted the position of the, and they were going to pass you over for someone else? Well, I went to bed with the President and the Vice President and they gave you the job." "Hell, I think I could have done it on my own. But, then again, I guess I should be grateful. And so, what about the third time?" "Do you remember two years ago when you wanted to become President of the Baseball Team, and you were missing 53 votes...?"