PureSilver67: Now that's exactly what you did ... not only did you stop and re-evaluate, you also wrote it out .. putting thoughts on paper or talking them out often helps "sort" them in one's mind

A couple of other things:

Sleep - Getting the right amount of sleep is healthy for our body and mind. Tiredness just makes one's mind go into overdrive .. nothing makes sense anymore. Get enough rest.

Forgive - Many times we're making ourselves sad for no good reason at all. When you forgive, you remove this weight off your shoulders and put yourself in a position to be happier.

Show Gratitude - Many times when we complain we can cause ourselves to be sad. Complaining is just a factor of not taking into account what we're grateful for. Sit down and make a list of 25 things you're grateful for right now (and I dare you not to feel better).

Imperfect_Perfection: Zedly you have already taken the first steps to achieving your goal. There is no such thing as a perfect path just choose which one is the most suited to your needs, and desires. Write out all your options and list the pros and cons of each. If all else fails and you decide this path is no longer the best you can change course again later. Nothing in life is permanent, change paths until you find what works best for you.

You said that it feels like nothing brings you joy, have you always felt this way or how long have you had this feeling? Can you remember a time when you did feel joy? What was it that made you feel joyful? Are you neglecting doing these things now? What kind of comments are you making to yourself in your thoughts?

You also said that hobbies or passions don't excite you, have you ever had a hobby? What did you do for fun as a child?

Finding your path just requires asking yourself the right questions... you already have all the answers you seek inside. You know what you need and what must be done to accomplish your goals. You have taken the first steps on your path don't stop now! Schedule in some reflection time, choose your goals, break them down into sub goals *what can you accomplish today, this week, this month, this year*

I wish you much luck, and no you did not bother me at all. I hope you find your happiness.

zedly1: wow, it's hard to put into words but It's been hell ! From one thing to another it just keeps on getting worse I feel.. I have so much going on that I just feel I cant get on top and this troubles me, so when I look at the many things that brought me joy I dont seem to feel the same intrest as I once did...I guess it's because I'm consumed through no fault of my own with what's gone on in the past and it's effects- like i said it's just been one punch after the other and it's broke/braking me i guess! I'll work it out I guess and thanks ! Oh and silver it was nice to hear from you here - but lets just keep it here ! ok!

PureSilver67: @Zedly "I guess it's because I'm consumed through no fault of my own with what's gone on in the past and it's effects"

is what you said above ... you may not have control over things that other people do around you, to the extent that you do not control the person, nevertheless, there is control over whom one has in their life and how the "effects" affect you. Other people/ events don't MAKE a person sad, happy, angry etc ... it's up to the person how they take that situation and deal with it.

And I'm not saying that I've been perfect in "warding off" negative feelings either .. but I do know it's me that controls those negative feelings.

You'll know if it's totally broken you. Talking about things certainly helps.

As for your last statement .. apart from PM or trying to chat to you, where I thought it may be more discrete and therefore one may be a little more open to sharing issues and discussing to see if there's any other points of view or "helpful" advice one can accept I wasn't taking it anywhere.

Feel free to lay everything out here in public forum if that's what you'd prefer.

zedly1: thanks - and yes i'd prefer to hear others advice as well !


I'm nearly clear on how to explain myself on how and what I feel , but basicaly it's the position i'm in and how to deal with it! ! when Im able to construct my thoughts better i'll get back to this "forum" and hopefully I may get some insight ! thanks all !

g e m: stop reading the newspapers and watching the news , play with kids and animals whenever you get the chance , simplify your life in every way you can , go for walks where it`s green or near rivers and the sea , do sports like swimmimg or jogging and find a club you can involve yourself in ....go out , feel the air moving on your skin , hug someone every day , tell people you like them and smile as much as you can ... keep your mind open to new things , travel and see new places , eat new food , let yourself fall in love ... and try saying yes to things , find beauty in life ... at least once a day , close your eyes and picture someone you love and realise you`re loved too , and can be important to others .... good luck whoever is sad , I wish you all the best I can give xxx , Gem

Imperfect_Perfection:

*The grass isn't always greener on the other side; it is greener where you water it.*

Zedly I do know what it is like to feel that nothing but negativity, stress, and misfortune is consuming you. Just know that this too will pass. With action and effort you can get back on top! Whether you think you can or can't do something, you are correct. If you can change something in your life for the better then do it. If you can't change it change the way you view the situation or your additude towards it. Misfortunes all contain a lesson. If you learn from your mistakes then all is not lost.
Have you started on your list of goals yet? Constant focus on all that is wrong will do you and your current situation no good. Focusing on what good you do have and what you will have can help you to find the light at the end of your tunnel. Bad times happen to us all. We can either give in and allow it to consume us mentally and physically or we can *retrain* ourselves to see what good exists in our lives and what good we can do for others and ourselves. Change is the only constant in life. We can choose to be or do anything. Non doing will not bring you the happiness you desire you must get out and do! No excuses, no fear, just do.

EdDantes: Sometimes its the little things that can be just as helpful, like changing a morning routine, for instance brewing up tea instead of coffee. Or reading a book before bed instead vegging out on the internet. (Those examples sound cliché, but they honestly make a huge difference) I've found when we're stuck in a rut, introducing subtle changes in thoughts and actions can make profound differences. They get the wheels turning, and its easier to gain a fresh perspective.

HannahGestalt: realising that whatever is going on or whatever you're feeling is only temporary.

Imperfect_Perfection: Thank you for sharing your fantastic tips Ed. Those little changes do add up to equal big change quickly. By starting with the smaller easier to achieve goals you will be more likely to be successful, rather than attempting to make several large changes all at once.

Imperfect_Perfection: Nicotina depression is not a disease it is a mental disorder. No positive thought alone can not heal you completely, but it can start you on the path to heal. Changes must be made in your life and you must find the cause to address your inner issues. Your thoughts are what create the reality in which you live. Some might need the guidance of a psychologist to help find the cause and help to start their inner transformaion, but in order to heal we must want it and put in the effort to make changes to heal ourselves. Happiness does not come in pill form it comes from within ourselves.

PureSilver67: Hey to both Nicotina2 and Imperfect_Perfection

As we are all aware many issues (including depression) can be debated endlessly and be given "titles" from either camp, depending on INTERPRETATION ...

I do believe that cancer cells may in fact release chemicals that may trigger depression in some people.

I also believe that being stressed can cause the body to release chemicals that may trigger depression in some people.

These chemical imbalances are usually treated with medication or for some who choose to be treated with natural products AND by seeing a psychologist/ psychiatrist/ counsellor (& yes I know the difference between the two) to discuss circumstances that have occurred in one's life ...

Nico, I do not think that IP means at all to insult anyone, especially those suffering clinical depression .... and both of you from my experience are wonderful woman

Nevertheless, those with depression should possibly be able to gather as much information/ or be provided with as much information as possible for them to decide (or a responsible professional) which way is best to treat their individual case.

Personally - with what I take as the "normal" meaning of disease I do not class the people I know as having depression as having a disease - as in it's not transferable to another.
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/evil-deeds/200809/is-depression-disease

The goal is, IMPO ... to assist the individual in the best way for them ... to you both

Imperfect_Perfection: Nicotina you have no idea what experience I have had with depression and the only person being insulting here is you. If you do not wish to find help or to be open to other options of self healing then go ahead and remain as you are. Just because a person is depressed does not mean there is no hope for recovery or no way to heal. There are several changes that can be made by the individual to lessen there own suffering. No I do not assume that depression is the persons fault or that chemical imbalance doesn't exist, but I feel balance can be regained in a natural way. By learning to stop the negative thoughts, choosing healthy stress coping techniques and relaxation techniques, speaking kindly to yourself and treating others as you wish to be treated, taking care of yourself physically including exercise and proper eating habits, and doing more joyful activities you can also improve your mood. You can't change the unwilling, and all the knowledge in the world won't help you to heal unless you apply the proper changes to your life. It is possible to be happy no matter what your current situation is or what misfortunes you are facing. Inner peace is not the absence of stress from your life but the ability to cope with it.

fairgojustsaying: I agree with all the positive things a person can do to help themselves that is of course they are in a position to do so, it is the middle part that needs to be overcome to be ale to achieve what you are saying that will help to move forward positively. I am concerned about the middle part because this is the danger zone for many when they cannot help themslves for whatever reasons due to whatever type of illness they may be experiencing. This is not negative commenting it is fact and I would like to know how to get to that point when one is mentally trapped, with no support system at hand at a crucial part of their illness.

fairgojustsaying: Alcoholism is also titled as a disease by professionals yet is not transferrable so who is right ?

fairgojustsaying: Also Pure you are lucky to be able to know your feelings and react appropropriately however their is the zone where some cannot reach that point and my concern and hearts go out to those.

PureSilver67: I'm don't think that there is a "right" and "wrong" .. just various perspectives and finding the best way for each individual to help
I have, fairgo .. been at a point where reactions are not appropriate .... I've come through that (although sometimes still stuff up - to errr is human )

Crystal_Star: I like sex.... When I did not have sex I got really depressed. Having sex is how I hide from my depression and my hidden side of life. It is so hidden I do not know if I can find it to try to deal with it. I ignore my issues. This is difficult with my family always reminding me of my issues. But sex helps. I am trying to exercise more and go to church more so I do not have to rely on sex so much.