MrSteveA67: You're being tricky now aren't ya?

*thinks for a bit*

Hmmm ...

*twists eyes around at odd angles*

*forehead begins to sweat*

Ah, you got me! Well, you still might run into someone that interests you - Do you want to give that a shot? Or you could do it to humor/encourage me to do the same

Maybe that guy in the video stops by a store next to your house everyday and you hadn't noticed before?

Lots of possibilities ...

Besides I'll give you 5 brownie points too if you make it. If you're wondering what brownie points are good for, $1.50 and 5 brownie points buys a cup of coffee at many stores (even the stores that only accept the cash )

surveytips2u: if you feel lonely, nothing do, just share you this wedsite earn some part time income through onine, go visit www.surveytips2u.com. have a nice day.

Laurraa: Lonliness can be attributed to not being around like-minded healthy people with a similar lifestyle. If you con't click or connect with anyone in your social/economic enviornmnet or meets your style of life, you are going to be alone, like me.

MrSteveA67: I had been thinking along similar lines of what is it that makes things 'click' in some relationships and what makes some more enduring than others.

There are many things in a relationship that someone could desire - security, companionship, stimulation, inspiration, guidance etc. and though it might be easy to recognize characteristics of oneself that could be desireable for someone else to have, a lot can come from a relationship where there are differences as well and not necessarily a lot in common, though as you pointed out there are some things that can be foundational to most any enduring relationship and at least some ability to grow together over time would appear needed, or things tend to drift apart.

Something I've notice in my own relationships is that usually whatever desires or interests brought us together tend to be what kept us together. If those change or become incompatible and they aren't replaced by others, then things tend to drift apart. I don't believe a good relationship is based upon sacrifice though, but instead upon a mutual desire/benefit realized by it and though dedication or commitment can help create a long term relationship, it should still be done because the people involved desire to have that and not due to implicit/unwarranted obligations ... maybe another way of saying that is that I don't think a good relationship has true sacrifices, but instead in win/win "compromises" in which everyone's better off than without the interaction.

In the case of the internet, it can be great for an exchange of minds and I've talked with a few people regularly for years, but long distances aren't very amenable to a relationship/friendship outside that.

ElVago100: I too am lonely. My wife has left me literally and figuratively. We talk a bit (mostly turns into arguments on why she doesn't want me around anymore). She said she needs time and space. I literally just got off the phone with her and it was nice to have a 5 min conversation with no arguing. She says she is concerned that I am not handling this "trial" seperation well and that our kids are noticing it. What the heck am I supposed to do? Laugh and joke when all I want to do is crawl into a hole. 16 years we've been together (14 married) and she says its over. Well she actually says, she will think about working it out in late June when she is done with her Master's program and gets a few weeks into her new job. I support her fully finacially and all she cares about, in my eyes anyway, are these young 22 year old classmates. She is in her mid 30's and we have 3 kids. I have the kids all the time while she goes out on weekends with these "people". Is this a phase? Or is this marriage over? She has never let me meet these people and when I brought it up once too often is when she said I move out or she will with the kids. I moved out so my kids don't lose thier home. I know she is not cheating (I just know, she is not that kind of person), but her actions are completly foreign and not like her. I think she is embarrassed of her 40 year old husband and doesn't want these young girls to see her as old. She even started dressing like a 22 year old and talks/texts like them. She got a boob job 2 years ago (I was not in agreement) and that is when things changed. I don't know what to do or say anymore. I need a female friend so I can ask questions and get a lady's take. If any woman wold like to IM or email and thinks she could help I would appreciate it.

HeadAboveWater: Sorry ElVago, but after reading this, I just think that you wife is self-centred and lacks maturity. Especially after supporting her fully financially, she should show her gratitude to you by being considerate of your feelings. I don't see any harm in her having a good time with her friends, but there has to be a balance. Time for friends and time for family.

I think maybe she's just afraid of getting older and worried about being cool (which is what teenagers worry about, i think). Being surrounded by younger classmates probably made her more self-conscious of her age. And getting that boob job - well, i think she has some insecurities on her looks.

I think both of you should communicate openly and let each other know on what your expectations on each other are. And whether, these expectations are reasonable and something you can both work on. If the expectations are something neither of you can deliver - then there's a problem there.

Then, it's about either letting go of some expectations or moving on. This is what I think. I wish you well, my friend.

babyrose555: i hate to admit it but .. sometimes i feel lonley as well ... evn when there are a bunch of people around ...

kindfool: hi guys, i have read the long dialogue about loneliness.i aggree with all your point of view and they are so amazing.what's loneliness?i have ask myself more and once.loneliness just a mentality.a mentality to anything.if you always keep the mentality of no others know me and no anybody can help.loneliness will always around you and in your heard.ho w to break away from this bad mentality? i thinks it's very hard for me.could you give me some good suggestion???

HeadAboveWater: i try to keep myself busy and occupied..it helps to lessen the loneliness feeling. also, i try to find things that i like doing and that will make me happy. it's like finding ways to be my own best friend. although, i do admit, there are still times when the loneliness will come...but i'm trying my best to manage it..

hope this helps..wish you all the best

kama311: the feeling of being alone and hollow is certainly some of the worst things we as humans feel. When we get these feelings we hang on to them unintentionally and it consumes us. I speak not of just myself because i truely know i'm not the only person that does this. We who do these things know were not the only ones yet we still feel utterly alone and dammit it hurts...i'm sorry if i'm not helping anybodys thoughts i'm still wadding the mudd battled with suicide for too long now. and honestly since i got on the cpu (even if i dont have friends) it helps. helps to see other people trying to overcome seemingly same issues i have. I am sorry if this didnt calm any fires. but i do hope whatever bothers each of you can be given to me, i will take it to hell with me and hand it to the devil. keep your chins up!

sonnyvalley: Get off the pity pot, Thats no fun for anyone!

gayle50: This has been a very interesting read-I too feel very much alone even though I am about to "celebrate" my 27th Anniversary!
Feeling sad is a daily struggle for me, so reading this has been very helpful. Earlier this year I couldn't handle the saddness- and the feeling of being trapped in my own life. I didn't care at all for myself or anything else- even food didn't help (usually it is my comfort) I now have a Therapist and a Shrink!
One thing about it they don't know me or my situation and could look at it from the outside looking in. There is no one that can make me better but there are things that I couldn't see about myself that somehow I have discovered......blah blah blah.....you have probably heard it all before!!!
Thing is I don't know what happiness is and I don't think I have ever been happy-( I actually googled "Happiness"!!) but I am working on it!
Am I fixed? HAHAHA! I do feel better and finding out that others are going through similar times does help.

So THANKYOU for sharing. I do appreciate it all...

jaco008: nice words like a song ,it is of course worth do read your words, thanks .
It just like a mild rain drawing my heart.feel cool, feel so comfortable.

englishguyinusa: I just got out of a 6yr marriage, while it hurt i do not hate or despise my ex. Things happened for a reason. Yes i get lonely and being 43 it hurts sometimes when i think back to the good times. Now, i get lonely, i tried dating but it seems some of the women i have dated would lie to me. I am tired of being lied to but that is now what i have come to expect. I want to find friends that will not lie to me but i am finding it harder to believe that there are people who can tell the truth.
Maybe i am looking in the wrong places .

Audiboo69: I just got out of a 2 yr relationship where i was getting ready to marry this guy. As much as it hurts to talk to him or even see him i do it because i know its the only way i will be able to deal with what me and him are going through. I still care for him alot and probably always will. But know as much as everyone else does that if you love something or someone so much you must let them go and if they come back they were meant to be but if they dont come back then it wasnt meant to be. I hate it cause eveytime i go to the place he lives i see him and its so hard not to wanna go up and wanna kiss him or talk to him. It is killing me knowing the fact that he says he loves me but just cant be with me.
He still loves me because i am the mother of his son and that is the only reason why he loves me.

englishguyinusa: I too have been surrounded by a lot of people yet, i have still felt lonely. Just because you are surrounded by people doesn't necessarily mean that you cannot be lonely.
I thought going out with friends would help me get over this but it made it worse. WHy? They were all married or in relationships!
To make matters worse, i have no family here in the USA, my family live 5,000 miles away.
Everyday is a constant battle with lonliness yet i get through it somehow.
I started a new shift (3rd) and bought a new car. I made new friends but i just don't want to hang out with them as they all have families of their own.
Maybe i am being silly and stubborn but i hate feeling like a 3rd wheel!!

Cage_Bird: englishguyinusa, you aint silly at all.. It's no fun to be around ppl when you are single unless you are in a great mood and perhaps drunk as well... Who wants to feel like they are on the outside? Sometimes its less lonely to be on your own than be around ppl you feel have so much more than you have cause then you get reminded about things that you wouldn't be so much when you do things on your own. I think some ppl can also be more picky than others.. like myself. I dont feel I can just hang around just anyone.. Now and then yea but.. in the long run.. it seems like thats not what I do. The best one can do ( yea might not be so easy tho..) is to not expect anything and try to just focus on something... seems to work for me a lot .. well when its working. To start to think about things is just a disaster.. And it pulls you in till you are close to drowning. Keep floating ... as much as you can. It seems like when you dont expect any then you appreciate things more. When one hopes .. it doesnt work.

HardcoreHerbivore: I can relate to what you are saying HeadAboveWater.We all suffer,and most of us think about kicking out the chair.I have been thinking about it for years.I wish I could say something positive.If it makes you feel any better;you aren`t the only one who thinks like that.
Being in a relationship isn`t a cure for loneliness either unless you are on the same wavelength as your partner.
I am 40 and I have been tired of living a long long time ago.
It seems to me that everything we do in this life is to distract ourselves from the pain of being alive.

AngelOfMusic: Try looking on the far side of loneliness...once you get there and you realize there is no way back no matter how hard you try, you begin to understand that life meant for you nothing more than the most simplest of understanding, far from the perplexities,traumas, and confusion that come with relationships with people.

Sometimes there is perfect clarity and a beauty in that.

Yachimo: As to me making friend is not very hard but also not so genuineness to each other.

jocksweet: You can make a lot friend. I know one person he is more than 60 years already, but he has a heart full filled with energy, he looks like a young man, he talks in young man's way. He can make friend anywhere. so, I think you can do it the same way also. Have a try, you are not lonely.

Cage_Bird: Planet earth .. home of idiots. What can i say more.. It's no wonder its so damn hard to find friends. Cause most ppl don't have a brain to think with and would be easier if that wasn't the case. For some reason it seems that ppl from certain areas of the world or certain culture just cant think logical and its a f-ing shame. Im not gonna bother even trying to explain myself cause idiots doesn't seem to get it.. rest my case..

AngelOfMusic: Enough with the elitist blabbering, it serves no greater cause.

ourelija: forever alone

half honey: born alone , and use my feet walk, my hands doing things , i always felt lonely really , a kind of no one beside feeling i come to here caused this as well