faith fullymarried but extremely lonely (Page 4)
Jetters: Middle aged Aussie men are just down right embarassing when it comes to heading off over there. Vomitsville.
quigley: sick of putting up with you hideous white slappers i guess.
and yes the world is turned upside down as you can see from the snarls of the white women as they walk down the street and nobody even gives them a glance.
feelinggood52: I found that marriage is very hard if you expect your partner to make you happy, especially through conversation. My interests are not the same as my wife's. Most men are not interested and do not want to hear about other people, and women seem to like that kind of stuff. Anyways, we found a way to spend quality time together, and that is to play games. We mostly play scrabble after dinner, instead of watching TV. There is a saying... People who play together, stay together.
Love and respect the differences in your partner's interests. Be supportive, and most of all, always be honest.
quigley: good for you feelinggood you must have a superior one to the one who is nagging me here. i pity the poor man who has to live with her.
much better to be like me and be rid of the demanding western woman who wants your soul your mind and your wallet. most of these beasts discover they are lesbians at about 40 just after you have set them up financially for life and raised their children for them.
the nature of the beast
semowery: Oh my...feel like I know everyone just by reading these posts1.I have been married 15 years.Got married young at 17 We have 5 kids...yes you heard right 5.My issue is that I love my husband, and have no reason to not.He is a good provider and a good father.My issue is that all the lust/desire is just gone for me.I have my issues-32 but feel stuck in my early 20's...want to live a little,do the stuff I feel I missed out on.Pretty much just changing as a person.He obviously feels that I ma not the woman he married...don't blame him.I would be just as mad/devestated.I can't help it though.I don't want to leave my kids-though he is threatening to take them back to east coast if I make the decision to leave...how is that for pressure!I am scared-pretty much no of nothing else but being with him.The light bulb is just burnt out with me.I don't even feel he tries w/ me.Doesn't understand what woman need.Of course not generalizing most guys,but many men just need to see a body part and they are good to go.Woman need so much more than that.I have a guy friend and he is just so shocked as to what I have been missing out at.Guess we can all boo hoo together.
apollonian: so sorry semowery, but what you can do is figure out where you want to be in a year, then 5 years ,10 years and make the adjustments to get there. You want to be happier in the future, figure out what it takes and take your time with the important decisions.
Thnaks for your reply.I understand what you are saying,but in my situation I am not being given that time.I am pressured to make some kind of decision and to do it quickly.Sort of regret even ever bringing it up with husband before I had an exact plan..but as we all know sometimes certain arguments/conversations just have a way of being blurted out.If I decide that I want out..he wants me out.But I am in no way ready to just venture out on my own just yet...so pathetic.He is angry and I understand,but he is now just doing/saying these things out of spite.If he has any love for me left,at least as the mother of his 5 kids who has been home with them for 14 years on and off he would not make it any more difficult for me then it already is.It's almost like he thinks his threats..cutting off bank account,moving back w/ kids etc reminding me that I will pretty much be leaving with nothing will scare me and force my decision.I can't give him a concrete decision even though he wants one.To complicate matters,I have my kids to also worry about in all this.I understand he needs a decision in order to move forward in life w/ our children..i just don't have it...only human.
iammewh0ru: I am also married, 6 miserable years ;o/ we have a 5 year old daughter. We have been unhappy for so long I don't remember what it's like to be happy anymore.
I am currently working full time and back in college full time while he is unemployed (2 years now).. yet when I get home the house is a mess, he never has time to do anything, our daughter is always at my moms house.. and he is "depressed". He has the nerve to tell me that I am a lazy good for nothing *#&$(, I don't cook or clean.. its not enough that I pay the Mortgage and all the bills... nope..! I am useless!
I called him last night after class ended and asked him to pick me up from the subway.. I got the cursing of my life! I can never do anything by myself. I want to much! So I hung up the phone and took the train and the bus home, but texted him to say "consider me dead, I no longer need you for anything". He ended up waiting for me at the subway but was infuriated with me when I was not happy that he came, so he dropped me home and went to "hang out"! I cried myself to sleep, hoping and praying that I could be a stronger woman for my daughter and make the right decision.
Nothing I do is every good enough. I feel like crawling into a whole and staying there! Its not like I even see my daughter because of the sacrifices im making, but for all of this I am a TERRIBLE WIFE and MOTHER! FML
Sorry to hear how you are being treated.If I were in your situation I would leave and quickly.What is the point in even dealing with that?A person that loves you doe snot treat you like that.If I had your issue it would be an easy decision for me.My husband is a good guy and never treated me badly,it's just all the stuff that is supposed to keep a happy marriage together,s&x life etc.. is just gone.You are still young and a beautiful woman.Get on with your life and find someone who will make you happy.Ask yourself why you are holding on.If it's because of your daughter and he is a good father,then he will still be around for her.If not,well then you have your answer as far as that too.Wish I could take advice just as easily as I dish it out.All your doing to yourself is dragging yourself down....AND FOR WHAT?
apollonian: semowery, seems like communication might be missing, would you show him what you wrote here and would he be honest in answering you? Something that might help you would to put your feelings and thoughts on paper, the revisit it a day or 2 later. If you wrote to him, keep everything positive and honest, you would have the opportunity to edit things that were blurted and sorry for. Don't write anything attacking him, really a love letter about love, if its still there. Opening the lines of communication will give you a clearer picture, and will show that you tried your hardest and will not regret your decisions later. Also, it would be really hard for anybody, mom or dad, to be alone with 5 kids in tow...
sorry to hear your unfortunate situation, but again communication is the key. He might be dealing with something you don't understand or know about and vice versa. What brought you together in the first place? That is the starting point of a marriage that you try and build on to be successful at it, and its not easy. There will always be ups and downs but when it is always down you might have to make a decision
quigley: the problem women have is that they are not as attractive sexually to men after they have a child , let alone five so they have less bargaining power and this hurts them. gone from the rooster to the feather duster as they say. when children enter any relationship there are major changes, occasionally for the good but mostly for the bad. usually though men want sx& and women want children. maybe you should have thought more deaply before jumping into bed. in the end there is probably no hope for you and your relationship sadly.
nellie77: Quigley people like you are either looking to stir things up, or are just plain asswipes...
ThatOneGirl: At least you're married and living with the guy. I'm with a guy who's living with the ex. 3 years and no chance of marriage. Trusted him enough to let it get this far, and talking about it (maybe forcing a conversation) is the only way to get through to your husband.
ElVago100: I am in similar situation. Although, I am the husband. My wife has left me literally and figuratively. We talk a bit (mostly turns into arguments on why she doesn't want me around anymore). She said she needs time and space. I literally just got off the phone with her and it was nice to have a 5 min conversation with no arguing. She says she is concerned that I am not handling this "trial" seperation well and that our kids are noticing it. What the heck am I supposed to do? Laugh and joke when all I want to do is crawl into a hole. 16 years we've been together (14 married) and she says its over. Well she actually says, she will think about working it out in late June when she is done with her Master's program and gets a few weeks into her new job. I support her fully finacially and all she cares about, in my eyes anyway, are these young 22 year old classmates. She is in her mid 30's and we have 3 kids. I have the kids all the time while she goes out on weekends with these "people". Is this a phase? Or is this marriage over? She has never let me meet these people and when I brought it up once too often is when she said I move out or she will with the kids. I moved out so my kids don't lose thier home. I know she is not cheating (I just know, she is not that kind of person), but her actions are completly foreign and not like her. I think she is embarrassed of her 40 year old husband and doesn't want these young girls to see her as old. She even started dressing like a 22 year old and talks/texts like them. She got a boob job 2 years ago (I was not in agreement) and that is when things changed.
nellie77: el vago do women have mid life crisis's? maybe she is going through something, if u say she isn't cheating what could it be?
Animal Lover: My older son reckons that when women hit their 30's, they hanker over catching up with their youth.
His live-in GF did that at that age and they split - painfully for him - after 12 years together.
Fortunately, he has a new partner now and a wee boy and is happy.
I must admit my own 30's were pretty wild. I'd just got divorced after 11.5 years' marriage - 2 years going out before that.