faith fullymarried but extremely lonely (Page 2)

Sunnigirl
Sunnigirl: Love yourself first and you will have the courage to do what is best for you and your family. It may not be easy or quick or clear at this moment but you will make it!
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quigley
quigley: marriage is like a bear trap, you can't get out of it without being seriously hurt
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Zen777
Zen777: To Juliesgirl, I was in a similar situation as you are in. I did everything I could think of to rekindle that old spark but nothing ever got better. After awhile I just gave up. Work was the only place I felt welcome. After years of long hours and lots of weekend work it dawned on me to just do something or I was going to kill myself with all of this bad stuff. So after 30 years of being together, I left. Should have done it years ago but something always stopped me. Now even though I'm alone I feel so much better. Sure i have my bad days but it is getting better with time. Do something for yourself or you will be stuck like I was.
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jenlop
jenlop: I have been married for 17 years have 2 kids but my married life makes no sense. My husband does not understand me what are needs. He likes to go out with friends i don't like drinks and then come back home and sleeps. All conversation ends in fights and i don't want to sleep with a person who smells alcohol. I don't know what to do. I feel so depressed sometimes don't feel that anyone will understand. I Feel suffocated. I need help.
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quigley
quigley: jen ,women like you need to become nuns
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adolph_G
adolph_G: wow its amazing all the whimpering i see on this site hell if your married and your spouse dont want to talk to you have s*w with you the answer is obvious they are cheating ... so stop the self pitty and cheat yourself one of 2 things will happen yall will realize ya dont love eachother and move on orrrr you will realize you do love eachother and fix the freakin problem ....... been there done that but i would not let her treat me like that so i played the game with her and she realized i wasnt gonna be the one to greive for her and i wasnt gonna sulk around pineing for her and she couldnt take it that i was gettin some from some where else oooppps 2 can play the game... and divorces are so expensive because they are worth it
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nellie77
nellie77: I'm put off this thing called marriage, or even relationships...

Seems like very hard work, hope you all find happiness somehow
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asterbird
asterbird: similar here--married for nine years and one kid. I know I'm worth chatting with but my husband doesn't even know how to communicate.
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sunlightblueabyss
sunlightblueabyss: I have been married 24 years. All the kids are grown and gone. He has a disability so he is home all the time. But he dont care if I am here or not. I lost my job and he just wants me to get another one. In the last 2 yrs I have lost a baby, lost my job, lost my education, lost my 18 yr old dog, lost my home, lost my friends ( they were at my job 50 miles away), I just lost everything. And to top that he had 3 very major surgeries 2 wks apart. I had to get him specialists for everything and keep on top of the health care workers ( I am one). He rehabilitates and now he sees me cry and he leaves me in the dark and he takes a nap. That is the short version. I am just lost. I miss being me. going to concerts and stuff. I even shook Johnny Depp's hand once. That was a great day. Now I sit here and hope for a heart attack. Instead I get his attack. I get used and no one around me knows. So I am bad.
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sunlightblueabyss
sunlightblueabyss: Heck he is sleeping now. Has been since 4 o'clock pm. I have only left the house like 10x since november. soooooo depressed
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m_j_hey
m_j_hey: Nothing to see here. Post deleted by user.
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Zen777
Zen777: Sunlight, just for you I know what you have been going through . Been there myself. Still am to some extent. But if you need to vent ,talk or just get away from it all add me as friend and I'll be here. most people don't understand just why you hang in there , but I do.
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sunlightblueabyss
sunlightblueabyss: Thank you. Your right. I can't talk to anyone. I just write poetry to people online can judge me. lol! I just don't get it. He made grad school impossible so I left that. Then he made another career education unbearable. He made it hard to work. Heck, I pay all the bills so he dont mess them up. He gets to mail our rent check and he managed to screw that up this month. Then he gets mad at me. Tells me to do it myself and quotes that 85% of females are the bill payers. I guess he needs more time to sleep. I have had several classes in statistics and empirical studies and you know I won that debate. But in the end I sit alone and wait.....and cry.....and give up
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Animal Lover
Animal Lover: I feel so sad after reading this whole thread. There are so many of you trapped in bad marriages.
I divorced my ex-husband just before I was 30. I had been 18 when we got married. He was 9.5 years older. We had 2 kids whom I brought up alone even before I was away from him. He used to go to the pub till closing time after work so he very rarely even saw the kids.
I came to the conclusion he only knew how to be a boyfriend and lover - s&~ was great - didn't know how to be a husband or father.
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sunlightblueabyss
sunlightblueabyss: I thought he heard me when we talked today.But nope. I was wrong. He left me sitting alone in the dark again. So much for love. I don't believe in it anymore. He actually said that after all these years, he shouldn't have to show that he loves me. Hmmmm......really. He cheated a few years ago and then I caught him looking at porn on my computer. And I am supposed to just know? He is absolutely no good for me. There is so much wrong here that he makes me hate me. The countdown continues.
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fangs1234
fangs1234: i really feel for everyone here,,,but,,,love dies when one person gives up and its nobodys fault so skip torturing yourself each love has a lifespan if your lucky it will be until death do you part if your unlucky and love has died at least you know how to love and how to be loved so please heal yourself and return to what you do best loving yourself,,,peace and love to you all frankie
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abclonely
abclonely: Its terrible feeling lonely..especially when you know you shouldnt be..ive only been married 4 years, my husband wont touch me and would take any opportunity to not talk to me..hes so distant and i dont have an idea why..ive kept my weight and i take care of myself and him..i feel like he takes every opportunity not to talk to me and he often lies even about the small thing..he says hes not cheating and i dont really see anything else except him leaving the house to the city when im around..It just feels so lonely staying at home alone, i do work and my husband doesnt but it seems when im not working hes not home..i tried talking to him and he said we'll try and work things out but its always the same thing..i was already to the point to hire an investigator just to see whats really going on..he has this gambling problem thats starting so i dont know if thats the reason why hes always out or is it just a cover up of something bigger like him having an affair..im so worried and frustrated..but unless i dont have any proof i cant do anything...im so tired of feeling this way..i think i shouldnt have gotten married in the first place..then it would be easier to just pack my bags and leave.
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Animal Lover
Animal Lover: You will need to watch him if he's got a gambling problem.
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Kered66
Kered66: abclonely gambling is very much like alcoholism the first lies are to the addict themselves (another bet wont hurt, i'll win it back next time etc)the only hope is for the addict to accept THEY have a problem! until then you will be a lonely person. All addictions of action (those without substances)are a choice and are extremely self centred the pain he is causing you only compounds the feeling of guilt he experiences every time he loses. In January this year i asked my alcoholic wife of 20 yrs to leave our home she then sought therapy but because of her underlying narcissism she will no longer talk to our 13 yr old son. Addicts all have a tendency to this, your best bet (sorry for the analogy) is to ask him to leave then pick up the pieces and move on. You deserve better, good luck.
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sweetgeorgiapeach
sweetgeorgiapeach: Hey im new to this..Me and Hubby have been married for 8 yrs been togethere for 11yrs we have 3kids togethere and thats it...no relationship except for sy$ when he wants its. he is so consumed by his game on computer when he gets home. i have tried so many different things to get him to love me back and want me but nothing works.. please help me
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nellie77
nellie77: Go on strike
dont give him s~&
dont cook
dont clean
go on holiday and see if he changes
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sweetgeorgiapeach
sweetgeorgiapeach: I have already did these things even left for a while....He changes for a short time and then he goes right back to it...he works very hard and i dont work outside of home...i understand it to a point but come on there is more to life than work and game
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nellie77
nellie77: sweetgeorgie peach this is my advice and from past experience its worked for me, and i hope for you.

Step 1: got to the hair salon and get a new look that suits you
Step 2: think and look at yourself as atrully beautiful woman and have allot to offer, feel confident in yourself and be proud of your achievemnents
Step 3: Find a hobby, make new friends, or take up an old interest that you left behind
Step 4: You are so damm sexy now and soo busy for him, he may finally notice that you are not waiting around anymore
Step 5: Ok he may end up giving you the wanted attention you need and you accept, or
Step 6: You are so damm sexy you've found yourself a new man!!!!

Damm girl you can do it, go out there and find the love that you deserve
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quigley
quigley: just shows how shallow women are. the first thing they consider is rationing s@&.try being a little less demanding, must be a real chore for you darlings to have to put up with your husbands' expectation that love may include some intimacy.

the tirade i expect for even considering this will be proof enough of the fact
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nellie77
nellie77: Dear Mr Quigley

It seems to me by the general amount of complaints here seems to be that the wives are feeling quiet neglectful in the intimacy department.

Are you suggesting these women are demanding? do you think its fair that a women should not be communicated too?
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