Revenge - should I?

maywe35
maywe35: I want to tell my lover's wife about our affair. How do I do this wiothout her knowing its me?
3 years ago Report
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mimi0088
mimi0088: You don't have to tell her, she will find out eventually, they always do.
3 years ago Report
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znmike
znmike: Depends...Think of it in the long-run. If in the shortrun it makes you happy and in the long run it makes you feel guilty/aggitated then don't do it. If in the long run it will give you joy then do it. If you still keep in touch with the woman you had an affair with tell her to email/call your wife saying something along the lines of "..Hi, is this ____? I don't know how to tell you this..but..I really have to get this off my chest. I slept with your husband"

In the end I don't think you should do sucha thing...Whatever happened-happened. You're an adult now, it's important to move on...forget about it.
3 years ago Report
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Dawn_
Dawn_: You can always write an email from an anonymous email adress or print out a letter and send it to her normally. But she will sooner or later find out it's you, you know.

And yeah it's not very nice to be someone's lover. But look at it this way. As long as you're not friends with his wife, it's not your fault. He's the one who's cheating. What you're doing is just bad, just not as bad.
3 years ago Report
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Aura_
Aura_: I'm not going to say what you should do, but try to keep in mind that a lover is easier to get rid of than a wife is. Not all infidelity ends in devorce and if you are going to put your lover on the spot like that there is a big chance he will chose his wife over you.
3 years ago Report
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Tink
Tink: In my opinion you were wrong to have an affair with a married man. For what reason would you now tell her about it? I think that people that tell about an affair are simply telling because they simple can't handle the guilt alone anymore. So they tell the spouse (either their own or the other persons spouse) that way they can share the misery they feel.

I would venture to guess that she already knows. She may not know it is you but I am sure she knows he is being unfaithful.

You know what simply amazes me about a situation like this? Why would anyone even want to be with a person that cheats on their spouse? Seriously, what do they think will happen? Do you think he will leave his wife and marry you? If he did leave his wife and marry you...how could you ever trust him to not cheat on you too?

In my opinion...once a cheat always a cheat.

*shrugs* you can do whatever you want to but perhaps you should just consider fading back into the woodwork and letting them sort out their marital problems. Go find a nice "single" man, settle down and hope that karma doesn't bite you in the ass.
3 years ago Report
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Threeddd
Threeddd: I say tell her, she has aright to know. However, my question to you is...what is your motive? Are you hoping she will leave and he will have a faithful relationship with you.

I was suspect about my husband, and I tried speaking with the person but she played dumb. I feel as though he got off the hook and he's secret is still unknown. I still wonder on regular basis what really happened. Not a good place to be.
2 years ago Report
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david the drummer
david the drummer: To me that's cowardly. You're just as wrong as he is, you're going to tell on him AND hide your own identity. I think you might have some bigger issues to face.
2 years ago Report
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harlett
harlett: why did you start your affair as you call it with your married lover .... for it sounds like you knew his wife before you either pursued him or let him pursue you ..... yup sure do know that there are men who will only screw around with married women and women who only purse married men ... makes them feels special ....and believe they adding jewels too their very very special crowns .....why do folks beleive that the expression what goes around comes back around is true for everyone else other than themself .....HERE: casey anthony who is on trial for murdering her two year daughter antagonzied her family with she is a spitefull _itch ... even bragged and boosted too freinds what extra special spiteful selfish _itch she is .... and dang it if she didn't spite herself as no one in life and living would have ever ... leaving too her now to have sat in jail for three yeras facing 80 more years if she doesn't beg for the death penatly ...careful of the crown you choose for yourself ...........and the jewels you desire too adore that crown with .......
2 years ago Report
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motherfingsuperwoman
motherfingsuperwoman: If you are going to do it, put on your big girl panties and do it to her face. Trying to be sneaky and ruin their marriage, haha you think that will have him running to you? Nope he will know who spilled the beans, if it wasn't him...it was YOU!

You are mad at yourself for doing the married man. Now you want to attack the wife, she didn't do anything. You did.

You made your bed, now lie in it.


And even if he does come running to you, do you not think he will repeat this pattern down the road?
2 years ago Report
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Comrade_
Comrade_: Revenge..? is that your reason? hmm
2 years ago Report
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