Are religious people more prone to being judgemental?

StarryStarryNight: Just wondering what everyone else thinks. I have had experiences where sometimes I needed to distance myself from religious people because I just felt so judged by them...not a good feeling. And yes, anyone can be judgemental. But I'm just wondering if it's more so for religious people.

orkanen: My experience tells me one doesn't need religion to be judgemental. I partially grew up in a village where being different surely gave others something to talk about. Driving forces being envy, idle hands, low self-esteem and general ignorance. If someone accomplishes something, they better have worked visibly hard for it. For the religious to be judgemental, it requires only the skill of reading scripture.

cowpoker: Perhaps it's not that they're more judgmental, but that it's more obvious against a backdrop of religion that typically teaches love and tolerance. Hypocrisy can be quite conspicuous.

StarryStarryNight: I have also observed how religious people can be more judgemental towards their own kind too.
Followers who don't strictly follow the dos and dont's of their religion will tend to get judged by the more religious, who tend to hold their own kind to higher moral standards.

So, while the religious may judge the "outsiders", they are also judging the "insiders". They would judge the "outsiders" for not being on the right path. And they would judge the "insiders" for not practicing the religion as well as they are. A holier-than-thou stance.

Having said this, I know it doesn't happen everywhere and with everyone but I've seen it happen more than a few times. I think it's sad.

The13th: Religious people? They look normal to me ........

wayne elliott: Have to agree with you firststep1977. Yet they preach that we are not meant to judge.

The13th: What I meant is they look normal, but they probably won't shed a tear if I get burnt in eternal hell. Not too sure if you think that is normal.

wayne elliott: Yes boyz, the rampant religious seem to relish condemning to hell those who are not just like themselves - even among their own cults. A common enemy is used as a bonding technique in many human groups. Wanting to belong is normal, hating someone to such a dregree as to wish them hell for eternity is not.

cowpoker: Sometimes they wish it. Sometimes they just believe it. And then possibly try to save you from it, which is much much worse. The irony is that the attempt to save me from what they consider hell to be is actually to inflict on me what I consider hell to be.

Zanjan: Firststep: "I just felt so judged by them...not a good feeling"

And you didn't judge them back?

We all know whores and hypocrites - that's a judgment, right?

If the judgment isn't true, why would you feel bad? If it were true, one would expect you'd feel upset for being exposed. You can't change what people are secretly thinking about you - that's beyond your control.

This is actually a mothering issue, about the parent who failed to teach her children proper etiquette. Good manners dictate that one should keep silent on another's sins, unless there's legal reason not to. I've watched through many decades as societal courtesy slid down the tubes - so much, that when I find a considerate and mannerly soul now, it truly delights me!


Cowpoker, immature people often haven't realized that you can't help someone who doesn't want your help; be patient, they need more life experience. Also, try not to interpret advertising a religion as pressure to convert you. Sometimes a message sparks something, sometimes it doesn't. They're all servants of the Lord.

Time and time again we'll find that something we didn't want, but got, turned out to be a blessing in disguise. Later on, we're grateful for it.

Zanjan: Always, God is the Sifter - like seeks like and wants to be with their own kind.

We can't escape that dynamic and that's a good thing for those at the extreme ends of the spectrum. Of all the different kinds, we fall into two broad categories -> the builders and the destroyers.

If you doubt this, wait for a major disaster; everyone comes out into the streets - some to loot, and capitalize, some to rescue and comfort. Disaster shows our true colours.

You wouldn't be where you are today if not for God. Mankind has always recognized the necessity of the forces of creation and destruction - that is, you can't have one without the other. Ergo, we automatically find ourselves in one of those places, doing what we do best, until we don't like it anymore.

THAT is the reason we've built bridges - so people can cross the floor, in either direction. Make no mistake - by around age 30, the bridge has become too long and narrow to make passage easy. That window of opportunity begins to close and shortly, the bridge disappears.

Nobody wants to get caught on a side they're not comfortable with.

moofy: No, by nature we are a judgmental species and being a theist is not synonymous with this.

The13th: I dont really know what is the true definition of judgmental, but if we are judgmental so be it. "God" make us that way if thats the way to put it. Another way to look at it is I am glad that I have the intelligence to be judgmental, at least that is better thank no judgement at all.

Zanjan: Your'e right. I have a mentally handicapped brother, who's like a little puppy. He trusts everyone, will do what anybody says, and will go with anyone, anywhere any time. He never says "no" and forgives everyone, no matter what has happened. He's been like that all his life, which has made him a very vulnerable person.

As a kid and teenager, he was bullied, and as an adult, you'd be surprised how many people with normal intelligence took advantage of him.

For that reason, the family, out of fear, over-protected him; he's led such a closeted life, that at 66 years old, he seems to not have learned anything new. His world is far smaller than it ever needed to be. This is the result of my family's poor judgment. Quite sad.

StarryStarryNight: Having an opinion, and agreeing to disagree with someone who doesn't hold the same opinion is one thing. Being judgmental on others who don't fit a particular mold and looking down on them is another. And this is what I mean by being judgmental - looking down on someone.

I can form an opinion about someone without looking down on them. Thing is, there's no reason to be mean. But some people just are..and it's appalling when religion is the reason that they are mean.

Zanjan: Is religion the real reason? Or is it their own personal short comings? How do you know the difference?

Which is more appalling - having an authoritative guidance, or not having any?

This might come as a surprise to you but God, Himself, has been mean - He can be quite cruel. Yet we've discovered those trials are the means to a good end. Real learning is painful.

I think it's unrealistic to expect everyone to be exemplary in the principles they profess, be they religious or not. Saints are so few these days, God has to spread them around thinly - that's why you won't find them in a cluster.

Perhaps it would be more constructive to talk about what *those* people do - that is, if you're fortunate enough to know one.

wayne elliott: Zanjan - sorry to read about your brother and the limitations his condition has had on his life. It is a sad fact that there are people out there who look on an illness like your brothers' as an opportunity to dominate, manipulate or even just to "have some fun" at the expense of another they deem as "weak" or "stupid.". I would venture to say that those who took advantage of him have very little "intelligence." It must have been very difficult for the family to know what to do to protect him from the monsters in our midst.

Zanjan: Thank you for your sentiments. His only defender has been me; unfortunately, that hasn't been easy (long story). You see, the monsters were easy to deal with, it's the selfish and neglectful who've presented the obstacles. However, the tide has changed and soon my brother will have a happy life.

GeraldtheGnome: Some of them yes, but the flipside is that some Atheists are that way inclined too.

Se7en_of_Nine: Depending on what religion is being spoken of here...in Christianity the Bible says the following: There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the one who is able to save and destroy. But you--who are you to judge your neighbor? James 4:12. There is also an admonishment to those who do judge. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Matthew 7:2. If you feel judged in any way or have had bad experiences, remember these people are only human. They do not represent God on Earth. The best thing you can do is pray and have a relationship with God with all your heart and all your mind. Everyone makes a judgement call on every other person. The fact that you at some point felt judged by another means that you set an expectation from the persons or persons in a Church. Bottom line, no one is perfect except God. I dont got to any churches primarily for that reason. And when I congregate its not a typical organization per se. My walk with God doesn't involve others, but I am aware that others watch what I do. I'm so sorry if you have this experience. I can tell you, you are not alone. So its wiser not to set an expectation if you do decide to visit a church or if you are around something seemingly 'religious' in nature. You spirituality is between you and the one you pray to and no one else. God Bless. I hope this helps. If I make any mistakes or if you have questions, just shoot me an email, and I'll be happy to stand corrected, to answer questions, encourage or pray for you. Thanks for reading this far...Amen.

GeraldtheGnome: I see at as that it covers all types of Religions, not just any certain type or certain types of Religion.

StarryStarryNight: @ Se7en_of_Nine

"Your spirituality is between you and the one you pray to and no one else."

Yes, that sentence does help and makes a lot of sense. Amen! I have slowly been distancing myself from those who are too religious...and I've found that it's made me a happier person because I can be me unapologetically. And I don't think this distancing has taken anything away from my spiritual journey, or from my moral values (I can still tell right from wrong), but possibly opened my eyes to a bigger horizon. My relationship with God is still deeply ingrained inside me. And it's just between me and Him. No one else.