Is here any 1 who hates theır father? (Page 4)
ApachesGirl: Although you do have a valid point Sophia, I disagree with you. The things that my father did, didn't come from love. Beating and abusing your kids and spouse doesn't come from love. How am I supposed to forgive my father when I would go to school and come home in fear because I didn't know where I was gonna sleep that night because if he got drunk we would have to leave and often times we slept in the car. Or not knowing when the next time I was going be hit would be. Little things set that man off.... anything from not picking his empty beer can to cleaning my bedroom. My father is a complete nut job and NONE of the things he did to me was out of "love" That man has no love for anyone.
JeanYves72: WTF...It would take no time at all not forgiving a scum sucking maggot molesting slime bag who did those things. Fear and ignorance is no friggan excuse for putting your child, the one person you are to protect and love unconditionally, through anything that causes them fear, confusion, doubt or emotional pain. That goes for physical and mental as well. The hurt never, ever goes away.
No offence but pull your head out of your arse and stop living in a fantasy world. As I father I find anything that creates any kind of emotional, mental or most times physical pain (I believe in the occasional smack) to be reprehensible and unforgivable.
authorj: I did not "hate" my father but I had very hard feelings towards him when he was living and I still do now that he is dead.
Sykosaurus X: I hate mine cause he kinda left before I was born. Heh, whatever, I'll kick his ass one day or something.
Questmini: Why would be hate our own father? That is wrong and it´s properly your own fault. I love my dad and I´m very proud of him.
And if you have a problem with your father, I would suggest some therapy and some good "old" fashioned talk,because I think you need a lesson or two!!
Take care and I hope you will have your problem solved soon.
- Marin (Questmini)
JeanYves72: WTF? Probably our own fault? Is it a childs fault, a small childs or babys fault if their father walks out on his family? Or abuses them sexually, physically, emotionally, mentally or spiritually? Is it a childs fault if their father wants nothing to do with them, ignores them or plays mind games?
I usually treat women with more respect but I have to say this...You are a fucking stupid moron who need to pull her head out of her arse and look at the real world. No child can take the blame for what their father has done to them. NO CHILD. And I say this as not only as a person whose father rejected him at the age of 12 and then proceeded to play mind games to the extent where he tried with my own son and nephews to do the same through ignoring my son and doing what he could for my nephews. He even refused to acknowledge me when a judge commented on the fact he had a son as well as a daughter and her mentioned my sisters husband, not me.
I am a father so I can say with certainty that no child is responsible for what their father, an adult whose emotional power is very, very strong, does. I have a grown son and a baby daughter as well as a little boy who I love as my own and they have never, and will never, feel what I felt. You are a fucking idiot.
sophiavedette: well! Questimini is wrong when she said it's the kids' fault, but I think she could be right about therapy. However, a person whose idea of a conversation is swearing at the person who doesn't agree with them, They still have lots of growing to do!!!! ... jeanyves72 , you sound too angry for someone whose profile picture suggests they are athletic! It's a good thing your bad experience with your father had turned you into a great father yourself, I have seen that so many times, there are also people who are not so great even though their parents had nothing to offer but love and understanding! ,,,,,, you all showed courage by sharing your feelings, I guess everybody has their own way of dealing with their issues, I would choose to forgive at the first moment I find myself capable of doing so, and I would be eager to use whatever tools to put me in that state, because It's liberating! .... unresolved issues are a very heavy load!!!! ..... I also couldn't help noticing that the people in this conversation that had the most tragic stories '''' like a parent killing himself''' were the ones who have shown in their words more forgiveness and growth, that is not very surprising because the ultimate suffering can do that! ....
They say it's good to do something that scares you everyday! and that's why I posted this reply, because even though I feel strong enough to forgive! the vocabulary and the swearing really scares me! I hope you can be a little more objective and more considerate in exchanging ideas through your sophisticated words!
(Edited by sophiavedette)
JeanYves72: I admit the anger got the better of me. I should not have sworn yet felt that as this medium does not allow one to see the expressions or hear the inflection of someones voice I felt this was the best way to express the rage at the words that were written. To blame a child is to put the victim at blame rather than placing it where it belongs, with the adult parent, the one who should love unconditionally and protect the precious gift they have been given with everything in their power.
Gracimo: It's NEVER the child's fault. My dad is an alcoholic, a liar, he's broken up our family, tried to kill my step-mum(my real mum's already dead)(tho not his fault) and hit me. He comes home drunk most nights, shouts, comes to my friends houses drunk, expects me to kiss him, and when I don"t he swears at me and threatens me.
Yeah my dad's an arse alright
ApachesGirl: WTF??? Our own fault???? What kind of crap is that? I'm betting that Questmini had the PERFECT childhood so he feels that he can say such things. Most of us involved in this conversation DID NOT have perfect childhoods. Far from it. As I said before, when a child has the fear of coming home because their father is a drunk, abusive bastard there is something WRONG. A child should NOT have to fear their parents or ANYONE else around them. Unless you have had the displeasure of growing up in that type of situation you have nothing to say. Keep your mouth shut because you CLEARLY don't know what the hell it's like. Fucking Idiot.