behavioral issues WAYTOBIG: Everybody is born wild,they just have to be tamed. Speaking from experience I am a single parent to 3 kids. TIME OUTS DON"T WORK.  kempykins: my 12yr. old can be a holy terror! when she gets going there's no stopping her, and her language lately, i just can't get over all the crap that comes out of her mouth! she hasn't been raised that way at all. i think alot of it has to do with the school system.  linzybhl: yes, but in fairness to them they have been put through a lot, so im working on making things better for them  the real slim DEEPy: Medication and therapy helps, and a proper diagnosis is paramount. Research the issue on your own to validate the diagnosis, and research alternative therapies, such as dietary remedies. Sugar and/or gluten contribute to hyperactivity and autism. A regular sleeping schedule and regular routines help with ADD/ADHD and autism. Childhood bipolar is often confused for ADHD, and ADD for childhood depression, but they all respond to different medications. Asberger's autism is often confused with other behavioral or learning disabilities, as well. Always get a second, and even third diagnosis, and be sure to report every little detail of your childs behaviours, interests and aptitudes, even if it seems irrelevant. Beyond mediccal help, consistency is a key factor. Outside of routines and pre-determined schedules, consistency in discipline is key. Never discipline out of anger, or you will encourage violence or create resentment. Be stern but fair, and never lose your temper in front of your child. If you feel angry or furstrated, then send the child on a time-out, but once you calm down, it may be beneficial to follow up that time-out with more serious disciplinary actions, including corporal punishment. If you so choose to spank, NEVER BRUISE your child, NEVER EVER and NEVER spank when you are angry or frustrated. If you spank out of love, and make it clear to the child that you are calm but seriously concerned, the WORST association they can make is a penchant to a BSDM fetish (and this occurrence is rare), but if you punish out of anger, your child will learn to associate anger with violence and will probably become a violent individual. Never punish a child without making sure they understand what was wrong and why it was wrong. If a child is too young to understand a proper explaination of this, then they are too young for corporal punishment. AlishaLucky: Quiet Time and Time Out (ages 2-8) Time outs are often used inncorrectly so no, they wont work then. It is suggested that there be two levels of "out". The first is quiet time, where the child can see you but not interact with you and the other children. This is used for minor misbehaviours such as talking back and not following simple instruction. In this area, the child stays there for 1 min per year of age (eg. 2 = 2mins). For more server misbehavious, it is suggested that you have an area that is safe and not fun. I use the laundry (we have a locked cupboard). When our son is having a huge tantrum (he tends to get frustrated easily) or hurts his little brother, he goes straight to the time out spot. He must sit down and be quiet. Until he does this, he must not come out. In both spots, the child can never let themselves out. It is always with parental aproval that they can come out. The discussion about what they have done wrong must be done when the child is on the way to time out or quiet time. There is to be no talking (by you or child) while they are in time out (except in the beginning when you tell them they must sit down quietly). When they are asked to leave time out or quiet time, they must apologise to the hurt person or animal. This builds empathy in little ones. My boy has quiet time spots everywhere we go (granny's, the shops, kindy). Also, you could google positive parenting. It is a program that might help. AlishaLucky: I also completely agree with Deep. Sometimes kids need a smack, but never ever in anger or frustration. the real slim DEEPy: i wouldnt call it a smack. i would call it a "sign" that the behaviour is not hust out of line, but totally unacceptable, and a very serious matter. it should only be used for the most serious infractions, which means it should be a rare occurrence. i shouldnt be giving parenting advice, as i am not one. im just stating what did AND didnt work on me. ☀▃▂▁/V\iragε▁▂▃☀: I agree with alisha and deep - I use time outs and my child thinks it's the worst punishment ever! lol if he only knew what others might use for punishment the toddler years were tough - it would take 30-60 minutes for him to stay in time out that was suppose to only last a few minutes. I stayed consistent and over time there is no longer a hassle. Afer each time out he has to say why he was in time out and apologize...then he gets a big hug and a 'I love you' from mom <---reinforces postiveness also a side note.... if your child is misbehaving always give a warning first before giving time out or strict direction....it's important he/she makes the choice knowing consequences will follow. Kids can be forgetful and need reminding what is right and wrong. the real slim DEEPy: consistency, especially with dicipline, is key to a hard-to-manage child... structure-regular scheduling of days is another key, with add/adhd and autism... ღDiLLyღ: You do what works for you and your family. No method is full proof. I have 5 children and have disciplined them all differently. My 5yr old has Aspergers and out of all my boys he is by far the more responsive. For all their social dysfunction they grasp things far quicker. philosophia: I'm not a mother, but I have been in child care for four years and have seen just about everything. When I was nannying for a family with a newborn, 4 month old, 3 yr old, and 5 yr old...the parents and I struggled to come up with effective solutions for their children who refused to eat anything other than junk food, had tantrums, etc. I stumbled across a book in B&N called "The Kazdin Method for Parenting the Defiant Child: With No Pills, No Therapy, No Contest of Wills" by Alan E. Kazdin who is the director of the Yale Parenting Center. This book really made a dramatic difference with these kids. So if you're in a bookstore one day, pick it up, it's worth checking out. Hope this helps someone! xapim: i think behavior issues come from the great, great grandparents..., they do things like give em' sugar and cokes.., and feed them somekind of drug that makes them go haywire...., | Parenting Chat Room 24 People Chatting Similar Conversations |
