Teenagers and S3X

DillyBear
DillyBear: I posted this in general but it may get a better response here.

They are starting so much younger these days, they are educated very early about s^z in the school system and its all over TV.

As parents we are having ''the talk'' with them before they even start high school.

Should we encourage our children to be open and honest with us regarding their sw^ lives? Do you as a parent even want to know??

Should we as parents discourage them from having s~$ before they are in a long term relationship or wait till marriage....are these out dated views now, as we all know they are going to start way before those events occur.

My son is 15 and when we have ''the talk'' I tell him once he starts being sexually active that I hope he will practice safe s&% and if he has any problems or questions to not be embarrassed to come and speak freely to me.

Do you feel this is responsible parenting or simple giving him the green light to have s&x.

Do any wire members have any thoughts on this or possible going through this now.
13 years ago Report
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Low_Rider
Low_Rider: i had this talk with my son a few months ago and i realize that he would do it regaurdless so i explained the possibilites of cacthing a nasty disease or the chance of the girl becoming prego and basically just showed him where the condoms are in hope that if he does ever decide to have s%z that he will use them ..all a parent can do is hope they taught thier children well
13 years ago Report
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DillyBear
DillyBear: Thats it, Im of the same opinion.

No teenager wants to talk to their parents, god I didn't say a thing to mine but Im hoping that I have informed him well enough to make good decisions.
13 years ago Report
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Sables
Sables: goodness, I learned in school in grade seven, Angela was in grade school as well
13 years ago Report
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cupid00619
cupid00619: M young to say, but its gud to talk otherwise they will search information elsewhere.
13 years ago Report
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Aura
Aura: funny thing, my girl is at 12 still at the 'ewww' stage lol, but the mechanics of it we already talked about because of.....the sims 2 game. The sims want to 'whoohoo' with someone they love and then they can make babies. And it just turned into a natural conversation about how babies are made (and why it can be fun to whoohoo in a car or hottub....) and it wasn't as awkward as i think it could have been if i went to her like 'hunny we have to have a talk...'
So my advice would be, do something together where the topic can come up naturally. It makes things a bit easier.
13 years ago Report
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KarmaDoll
KarmaDoll: Well even if you have the s%@ talk with your child 100 times it probably wont make a difference. If they feel they are ready to have syw then they will do it no matter what. All you can do is tell them about safe s@& aka birth control and condoms and tell them if they need to talk you'll always be there with them.


It's how these days are now. I saw a 12 year old at the mall last month who was 6 months pregnant. She was fixing to turn 13 but still.
13 years ago Report
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Topsyturvy
Topsyturvy: I really don't think times have changed that much really. There may be more information out their now however kids will do whatever there parents have visually and verbally instilled in them. Kids see mum acting like a sy*z, flirting with blokes, dressing aluring, etc they will mimic. That simple. Being a single bloke in his 30's i see it all the time, single mums interest directed at me, and mary jane junior is watching her mummy's every action only to assimulate these actions with her classmates. My true thought's on this subject are, if u make children with an idiot, your children will be idiots, because they spend the majority of there time with there mother..........
13 years ago Report
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DillyBear
DillyBear: Interesting point of view. You obviously attract an interesting group of women. I guess in some part a child will mirror themselves to their parent but to say ''if u make children with an idiot, your children will be idiots, because they spend the majority of there time with there mother...'' is a load of crap.

My ex husband was a first class a-hole and I have to say my older boys are bright intelligent well mannered respectful human beings and that would be because of their mother...ME.
13 years ago Report
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Topsyturvy
Topsyturvy: Dillybear, u just told me i was talking crap then agreed with me in the next paragragh. It goes both ways good mothers in "GENERAL" make good children and vise versa. I guess the issue can lie in the fact that parents don't know or are ignorant of whether or not they are doing the right thing. Or maybe some parents want their children to grow up and be young parents. I always remember the girl across the road wilst i was growing up (6 months younger than myself at the time 16)was sleeping around willy nilly and became pregnant, the thing that really got me was hearing her father say that he was so proud of his daughters behaviour. If i hadn't heard it myself i wouldn't have believed it. I apreciate it's not all black and white, however children are easily influenced. Next time u go into the shops actually watch women in their late 20's to early 40's (especialy single mums) interact with men they are attracted to, you might be blown away by what you see.
13 years ago Report
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DillyBear
DillyBear: No I wasnt agree with you at all...'if u make children with an idiot(being the dad), your children will be idiots, because they spend the majority of there time with there mother...

My boy aren't idiots and neither was their father but he was an overbearing control freak with a terrible temper but not unintelligent and they have turned out for the better because we left and they are with me...their mother.

Think we have interpreted each other differently.

I see many young girls from very good families act like total little skanks so I really dont think its only young teens from single mums.

The question I was asking was more to do with how open we should be with our teens?
13 years ago Report
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Topsyturvy
Topsyturvy: You've misinterpreted both my posts, at times one must read between the lines, anyway, I myself am horrified nearly every time i watch music videos in the precence of youngsters, and many other forms of expression used today. Just compare say music videos of say the 70's and 80's compared to now. Uncomparable. U can attempt to shelter young people from these influences, however short of locking them in there rooms with only the wall paper as visual stimulation, they will due to the inapropriate material so easily avaliable, know more than u about such subjects, once u decide to have the talk (birds and bees). They'll be laughing at mummy or daddy for making them feel awkward talking about something they already know. It really is sad.
This subject gets me angry, it'll be the last time i post on this subject.
13 years ago Report
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Swoop
Swoop: I think if you had the "talk" with a child at 15, you have left it far to late personally, but i do agree its not about education of what sx~ is etc,they already know! it's about informing them of the realistic concequence thier "possible" actions",the future impact on thier lives if "all goes wrong" and how to deal with it should they fall foul.
13 years ago Report
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TaylorJRheney
TaylorJRheney: Take it from a teen father. Safe sex SHOULD be talked about. I lost my virginity at 15. I knew that I needed to practice safe S-x and so I did. I got more careless as I got older because my friends were telling dude you don't need to wear a condom, you can just pull out. I'm suffering the consequences now at 17 years old. I have twin sons (James and Carter) I personally wish I had waited till I was older to have s-x with my girlfriend. I would definitely tell your son about the consequences and even the risk of using condoms alone.
11 years ago Report
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kifhiuhhfb
(Post deleted by staff 11 years ago)
yvonnechvz03
yvonnechvz03: it is always just be open and honest with your children and letting them know what can and will happen I become a mom a 17 and I let my kids know how difficult it can be with having a child at that age and that regardless there are going to do what they want but to let me know that there are becoming sexually active so that they can have all the proper tools to prevent them selfs from getting in to the same situation me and there dad did. being an open book is always best I have friends older than I and have were in the same situation as I and were open and honest with there children and have successfully finished school without becoming young parents and the knowing of they did not want to have sex until they were in a committed relationship.
11 years ago Report
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ergghdfg
(Post deleted by staff 11 years ago)
Bumpa
Bumpa: I live in a country where sex-ed is taught at primary school. My oldest daughter was taught at age 8 how to put a condom on a model penis using her mouth. When I complained to the school I as threatened with arrest for challenging the teachers' authority! What about my authority as a parent??? Oh and the teacher for the condom lesson--- A member of the local prostitutes collective!
11 years ago Report
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sabrinan73
sabrinan73: In my country the Teens are playing it like a game its like something interesting to them and try to loose it (You know) and this is serious and the more that the Teachers teach about *** the more they willing do have ***
11 years ago Report
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Bumpa
Bumpa: Absolutely true Sabrinan. Sex is taught as a factual thing, like it is assumed the kids will be doing it. You teach a kid to use a condom he/she will assume its ok to do it. Maybe I'm a little old fashioned but I would prefer my kids to wait till they are emotionally secure enough to cope with it. There is NOTHING taught in school about this side of sex.
11 years ago Report
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Melissa sex machine
(Post deleted by Melissa sex machine 9 years ago)
mommyintoson
mommyintoson: hi Melissa
9 years ago Report
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foosquad
foosquad: They will be, Sab... eventually. I think proper sex education should include the emotional component as well, and focus on the dangers as well as diversity of sexual experiences.
9 years ago Report
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