Anyone have any answers..Im Desperate! (Page 2)
CourtGesture: Well, she "could" be suffering from a clinical form of depression or anxiety. I would recommend a trip to the doc. It wouldn't hurt to go and get an opinion from a professional. I know a lot of parents these days are hesitant to put their teen children on medication, but medication may not be the only thing he/she may recommend. And of course, any decision to use medication will be up to you and your daughter, in the end. So, just book an appointment and see what the doc has to say, and good luck.
PEACE_LUVR: If I were the daughter, I'd do the same thing. I had friends, best friends and good friends and perhaps a boyfriend. Why my mother home schooling me just because of my grades dropped off? There are many ways the parents can do in this kind of situation. Please NO counselling NO medication NO doctors. Teenagers hate that. If I were the mother, let the daughter studies back at the school. If the grades doesn't show any improvement..extra tuitions can be taken.
I don't really know this situation but I'm speaking as the position of a daughter. Try to spend some time with the daughter. Listen to what she has to say. Sometimes we need to give them the chance to make decision for them selves. Never say NO neither CANNOT. Those words should be avoided. Just clarify the consequences for the decisions they made..then let them decide.
Sachinak: peace luvr you are saying right but the parents always does eyerything for the welfare of their children.
PEACE_LUVR: I do understand that..but how our children are going to learn to deal with conflicts in the future? As a parent, we should let them decide what's best for them. In the same time, teach them how to make decision by looking into the consequences for each of the decision..the good and bad sides of what they decide...I know if possible the parents want the best for their children..to be a doctor, to be a millionaire but don't they have the right to choose what they want to be in the future or what they want to do or plan the future...they should be the ones who thinks out of the box not just being a follower to anyone..so it's time to show the children how a real adult makes a decision..be their guidance will you..
Impossiblebeliever3: Well the first thing I would say is you need to stop giving into her. That is not the way to handle things. Sure is gives peace at the moment, but it will not help you or her in the long run. Next you need to find out what is wrong with her. Not what you think, but what she is really feeling. Once you know for sure that is how you will help
wallaceemadi: I didnt read all the posts but none that I did read said anything about the posability of a drug problem more and more kids even as young as 13 now are getting rapped up in horoin xanax oxy s and all that good stuff they should not touch. Let me guess oh not my sweet little 17 year old she would never do such a thing! I know thats usually what a mother says before she finds herself setting funeral arrangements. Id look into it. specially being from a big school like that. good luck!
stringtheroy82: Ummm,sounds like your average teen years to me. I Don't know anyone that wasn't depressed and hormonal around that age. Most of us have barley figured ourselves out at that age let alone this roller coaster of emotions we call life. In this case patience may be your best tool instead of jumping directly into psychiatrist.
steves_swt: While there are many issues that could be causing this type of behavior, depression seems to be one of the fitting modules in this scenario. Please understand, however, that this type of behavior could be drug related, or health issues. While it is important that all children socialize, there are other ways of obtaining that socialization without having to attend a public school system. Get her involved in many activities outside of school, such as church activities, youth groups, and yes.. even exercise programs. Allow her friends to come visit her. Isolation at this age in life is detrimental to mental health of the child. GOod luck
djdan2: Of course she's going to get affected, you've pulled her out of school away from her friends. Do the right thing and put her back in school, let her mingle with her friends. Its cruel to keep her away from her peers
sasagirl: I agree, it sounds like she needs motivation. She is 17, she needs to start thinking about her future/college....if she even has a cluw what she wants to do/go to college for, she should focus in on that...Home schooling, I think is for kids where there are no schools around, she probably needs to be around more kids her age..she probably feels lost/alone at home all the time, no offense with her mother, she needs to see the real world. I say put her back in school, maybe a diffeent school !
sxcmxc09: well you kind of did what you thought would be best, but you never asked her what would be more beneficial for her. Home schooling takes you away from society, friends etc. It's like enclosing your child to just studies; well obviously that's not going to fly with any kid u take straight from public school and place in an educational solitude. Maybe you could have switched schools if anything..
sxcmxc09: and i think it's funny how everyone can automatically say 'depression'
how about your child is simply unhappy?? why do we have to bring drugs and medication into the system? so she can get hooked on something she doesn't need?? u take a girl away from her usual surroundings; friends, events, etc how did you expect her to react, hell i would have reacted the same way really? if her grades were failing, maybe you should have considered a tutor, set up an everyday schedule when she got home: homework, chores, then freetime.
consistency matters, don't look at the child as being the problem, because the problem always stems from the parent, are you doing YOUR part? are you listening are you checking up on where she needs improvement?
or are you taking what seems to be the easy way out, which in reality can lead to other problems, like driving your child away from you, running away, hell suicide? kids are emotional these days, over emotional at that, take these things into consideration and maybe consider what SHE wants, not [spoil] her or 'give in' it's called being a parent.
PolarMoon: Ok i haven't actually read all the comments so far, but that doesn't mean i haven't thought about your predicament i've read a couple and gotten the impression that the advice is from people who are relating to their own experience. I don't really wanna talk about my experience other than that it could have been handled very.. i repeat VERY differently at the time. I was 16 and brought to a psychiatrist and was pretty open to going, medicated since 16 (in my opinion, old enough not to be brought to an apointment, old enough to understand, decipher, think, feel - the list goes on - not to have my parents in the picture.
That said, you are in the picture. That could be a good thing. I really don't know.
Advice. Don't think about all the practical advice people give eachother. People here too much of that. In my lowly opinion other peoples "perspectives" and little proverbs and phrases don't help a great deal. They can help some if you're talking to the right person.
If you try and get to the crux of her issues you won't because you'll be trying.
I have and still am being treated like i don't know what goes on in my family.. even 10 minutes after i am deeply upset over something that has been said.
PolarMoon: If she's temperamental, don't push. It could just be a sign that she's being sentimental, wondering about the intricacies of life. I'm not going to give you advice from my perspective i don't think.. i really don't think it would help, however desperate you are for it. This won't be the last time i will give my advice on this page. If i think of some, i will think about it, ponder, contemplate etc. and stick it on up here.
Mise le mais,
rod774: I think you need help from a friend, perhaps a Church.
You have taken on a big job. That age now, harder to make the change.
I do not know your situation, but others can be reminded of bei ng in charge right at the first. By the way, the Russian Treatmen t help depression, addiction, bi polar.
queenwald: As a father of 3 girls, you have to respect there space and at a certain point you have to say to yourself you have done all you could....let go would be my advice, and when they come crawling back because the need something and throw out the tough love, ALWAYS remember you are the one in charge