Anyone have any answers..Im Desperate!
carilynn8833: I'am the mother of a 17 year old daughter. I have started home schooling her because her grades had dropped and she was attending a very over crowded high school and juts got lost in the shuffle. Well lately she just has no motivation to do anything..get out of bed..do school work..get dress. shower..anytime I bring anything up like any of this she flips out..I think she is starting to become overwelmed by little things..confrontation and things like that..so she just wants to be left alone, and I'am finding myself, just to keep the peace around here, giving in to her..any help you can give me would be great!
Sorceress Warrior: I am 29 and have no kids expect foster kids in the home. What it sounds like is depression, take her to the doctor or a psyologist ( mind doctor ). When I was dianosed with depression I was already having a break down at work ( crying nonstop, feeling terribly sad and dark about everything, not wanting to go any were, not caring about anything in general )
If she won't open up to you or any family member, take her to a professional, a female doctor or female clinic in your area. Talk to the doctor yourself privately and tell them about what your dealing with as a parent, no doctor is going to look down at you or label you a 'weak' uncapable parent, we are all human.
Good luck and please tell us if things are getting better, we all can use help from time to time, no one is perfect.
tiaait: Maybe she needs some motivation...a reason to get out of bed. Most teens don't like school and don't see the point to it. Infact there is a high percentage of teens that do not obtain their diplomas on time but rather in their early 20s when they see a reason for it. At her age it is important to learn who she is and how to stand up for herself. Life lessons are the most important. Education comes with drive to thrive. I'm 27 and I took both my young cousins in for 5 years, the end of their teen years...and both just worked and hung out with friends. The eldest is now going to collage to become an RPN because she does not want to be at a dead end job for the rest of her life. She now sees value in having the higher education.
Teens sleep lots to...I noticed this and often thought that people are wrong when they say "sleep like a baby" it really should be "sleep like a teenager"
yazmeen: sometimes homeschooled kids are not getting enough social interaction? is she still involved in other activities outside the home? sports? field trips with other homeschooled children? a job perhaps? keeping a full schedule and more routine will help to keep her disciplined. remind her, YOUR the parent and she MUST respect you in your home where you are the PROVIDER. it might also be a good idea to get her a physical, she could also be suffinging from anything from depression to PMS. best wishes to you and her
davvey: your daughter is responding the only way she knows.when things happen like divorce,inconsistency from parents,yelling or turmoil at home,bullying at school etc.i am only guessing i dont have much info,and as a parent you are doing the best you can,when things happen to kids that are painfull and out of their control they get uninspired and dispondent.everything is a drag ,moms a b-- etc.they are lost and will start looking in the wrong place for acceptance.by taking here out of school you are inabling her.i am not blaming you or judging.you need to start to talk to her.calmly.dont be her best friend.be a parent,ask how she feels about things that i mentioned if they exist.do not counter attack or make remarks like thats silly or all that youve done for her etc even though you want to.try to give advice even if she rolls her eyes she is still listening.this is very complicated and aproblem that started a long time ago,so it wont happen overnight.she needs to trust you.i hope this will help you .i raised 3 step children with simular traits.there all growen now and we are very close
moondelamoon: carolyn, your daughter sounds depressed to me. i would suggest counselling (but not drugs).
Nat911: It could be depression, it could be other things. I have a 19 year old daughter, just thought i mention that so you know i can relate somewhat. What I would do, as I am not one who believes much in todays quick diagnoses that Dr's give. So many teenagers are placed on tablets, i call it a quick fix. Anyhow, you might not agree with my way of dealing with things, if my daughter was in that situation but I would probably start with her Facebook site and see if I could see anything to show what she is going through, by reading her conversations with her friends. (my daughter is on my Facebook, that is if your daughter is on Facebook and if you are on of her added friends on it also) As Facebook seems to be todays way of communicating with the world. The other thing you could do....is there anyone she is really close to who you could approach and let them know that you are really worried about her but just can't seem to communicate with her properly ? Do you think this might be her way of rebelling against homeschooling? The last resort might be go through her room to find any indication of a clue. I realise that sounds extreme but if you are really worried, maybe this will help you understand what is going on with your daughter. I know not everyone agrees with this type of action but you will know what to do. I feel for you, it would be very upsetting to feel like you can't connect with your daughter in a way to help her because that is all us Mum's want to also make us feel like we have done a good job as a mother. Good luck.
Nat911: I forgot to mention the good old mobile phone. Check the messages, this would have to show her everyday thoughts and feelings. I am aware sometimes actions like this can backfire. But i do hope you will have a happy outcome.
AlishaLucky: I'm a high school teacher, and teach many 17 yo girls. They all complain about how much they hate school and so on, but the social aspect is what they need. If your daughter is still socialising that wont be it, however, I agree with the other people that you need to talk to a psycholigist with your daughter. Have you tried to talk to her about the reasons she is out of school? Does she think she is under pressure? An open line of communication is very important, no matter how hard it seems right now.
Please remember that teens, like toddlers, actually need at least 12 hours of sleep a day, so if your daughter is online late at night, that could also be the problem.
mothertrucker30: We remember how difficult is was being a teen. I think she needs conversation to get to the point of it. I would suggest you tell her you were once a teen and you remember how hard it was (trying to find your identity) and share some of the struggles you had as a teen. Let her know that she can trust talking to you about anything. She also needs to know how much you want her to be happy and that you will do anything you can to help.
djdan2: I'd never have my child home schooled. Children and teens need to mix with kids their own age to develope social skills
☀▃▂▁/V\iragε▁▂▃☀: she's 17 and you just started homeschooling... my guess is you took away her junior and worse the senior highschool years... no more seeing her bestfriends or boyfriend during the day... dances... school spirit and games...prom -eeek! she's prolly angry about that.
Enroll her into summer school because she hasn't been cooperative with you and I'm sure she is falling behind...then you re-establish sending her to the highschool if she agrees to raise her grades. perhaps she'll get back on the horse .. work with the school counselor to help her set some plans to reach goals.
Nonetheless... some family counseling couldn't hurt either to open lines of communication for both of you to express wants and needs.
really seems like you're in a rut...it's obvious you want whats right for your child and is trying to help her. hope it works out for your family no matter what you choose.
trishador: if her get-up-and-go has gotten-up-an-gone, it could be depression. sounds like professional help is needed. It's a scary age!! Hope it works out for you
_Nicotina_: 2 out of 3 females have been sexually assaulted by age 18.
Something to bear in mind. Assault can lead to depression among other serious problems.
Eureka_Bg: Sorry people, but you are now responding to a post that is 2 years old.
Hopefully the issue has been resolved by now.
☀▃▂▁/V\iragε▁▂▃☀: lmao .. thanks for pointing that out eureka... I didn't notice the date it started on
Comrade_: Have you tried giving her Omega3? try it for a few months with her.
What if you put her back into School but on evenings you sit with her and go throu whatever problems she might have in her school work? she'll still need the interaction of kids her own age, etc.
But this is something you should discuss with her (and your husband/the father if he plays an active role in her life)
smash3522: Sounds like your daughter may be depressed, why dont you try talking to her about other things than school, i dont think she got lost in the shuffle, something happened to make her grades drop and you need to find out what is wrong in a non demanding way, just talk to her like a person not a parent, let her know it is alright to tell you anything.
rebeccakitten: Well? what has happened? She's all grown up now? does she have a job? is she in college? how's she doing? How did everything go? what was your solution? did it work? My daughter is 13 and I don't know what I'm going to do with her. She is withdrawing more every day. I'd like to know if what you did helped or didn't help.... ?
SophiaQG: i have slef-study in home for 2 year,it was an very special experience for me .what i have learned from it most is how to think.but the big problem is when u back to school,u would be treated like a freak.i think u should ask her if she likes to be educated in home,what educate systerm suits her most.maybe she needs some time to adjust herself.
spankdmonkey: Although the post is two years old .Personally i think it was the mother that was at fault ,She starts by saying her daughters schooling was falling behind so she took her out of school .Then it just became worse .tells me she didnt take what her daughter wanted into consideration .Maybe she is a great mum .But that does not mean she was a good teacher .Yes i home schooled my daughter it is not easy mine was for a different reason though .For medical reasons for 6 months.. .they need to interact with other teens ..What the mum should have done was tried to find out why her daughters schooling was falling behind would have been a smarter move
Np19: i think the main issue is that even though she was failing at school it wasnt a wise idea to take her out of school, maybe she feels alone and is not able to experience what the other school kids experience. education is important but the childs mental state should come first. when a someone spends too much time confined to one space then bordem can make the mind flip out. drugs arent the soloution for this problem i think somehow she needs to be intergrated back into the whole school life.
Camelicious: What do you expect... Sometime parents think they know it all..or they know whats best for us... you robbed her of her friends, her sanctuary, her freedom and her life... the main reason why we go to school is not just for the grades on the report card, its to socialize, to learn to live in communities, to adjust to changes, to fight life, to over come obstacles...