to spank or not to spank? (Page 7)

ang: Well I got spanked when i was younger, but the older we got, the less it happened... now that im older, and i disrespect my parents, i would get a smack in the face if anything. Still shows who's at wrong, and also keeps from embarrassment of being "spanked" as an adult. It keeps them in line, sorta like the whole "putting your hand on the stove, and you burn yourself" idea... if they geet spanked for it, then they know better not to do it again. If you are more passive, they might take advantage of it. I mean spanking doesnt mean you have to be careless about it, you only spank them when it is necessary, not just because they're annoying you, if you do, the kids would get mix signals and end up not understanding the real reasoning of their spanking and not know when something is good and when something is bad to do.... in my opinion.

Dixie57: Proud to say ...spank them... I came from a large family of 13 siblings yes I said 13...my folks spanked...we all knew how to respect and knew better then to act out of line...I attribute that to gettin my ASS spanked when I did something wrong...I used the same discipline with my own Children and have two of the best ones out there...my daughters are now Mom's and do the same and my Gran-angels are really good,well behaved children I can take anywhere and not have to worry how they are gonna act. Dixie

devilsAdvocate2: Deffinatly and absolutly spanking is and should be used. Its a hard world we live in and kids especially today learn fast from the various media ect. They need to know that actions have consequences bad action bad consequence good action rewarded. I went to a school where some of the brothers were satistic bullies and would not allow the beating they dished out today BUT and it is a big BUT i would and have told my kids teachers that if they are acting up and disruptive (for bold sake) to give them a clip (not beating). I believe if we want to give our kids into the custody of a school for 7 hours a day then the teachers must be trusted to disipline like you would. I know this is frought with arguments and problems but it works if you take an interest and meet / trust and talk to the teachers ????

Nail Lizardman: tell him that you wont give him pocket money for a while.....

mythgeek2010: I think that spanking can be a good idea if you can be strict and tell your children that it will happen when they do certain things. My mama spanked me when I was little but I haven't had reason to fear her I just respect her. I think spankings can be healthy because they help to draw the line. Time outs have never worked for me and my sister and we would just fight harder. Now my dad never spanked us and me and my sister push boundaries with him all the time even though we are both over 18. In my mind spankings that start to give the child(ren) scars and such are a VERY bad idea but how are a few spankings when your children misbehave worse than your child going out into the world and thinking no one will discipline them because all you did was put them in a time out? Or even when children put their hands on a hot burner and realize not to touch it? It all depends on what you're comfortable with because its going to be something that you have to be strict about.

cuarl: "how are a few spankings when your children misbehave worse than your child going out into the world and thinking no one will discipline them."
And that is where spanking goes wrong. The reason that we should not kill other people or steal money should not be that we are afraid of getting disciplined. It should be because we understand its wrong, can see from other peoples perspective, can understand that there is a victim to a crime.

If you just go out at think that I can cut open this old lady as long as nobody catches me. Then you are very wrong already.

shark angel: i think spanking is wrong my 2nd cousin gears her dad because of it she begged me not to let him take her for a weekend but i had no choice thier momm told me to let him take them as a small child do time out it does work i gave done it then when they get older try restriction take things away for a period of time if they are old enough to do chores make them earn the stuff back it works. all spanking does in my opoion is make the child fear you.if my kids ever do something wrong i want them to come to me without fear of being spanked that way when they need me for anything in life they know rhet can come to be being a parent is not a right it's a privalege rights are given privaliges can be taken away.don't spank it's not right.

LOVE 1 ANOTHER: DON'T SPANK YOUR CHILDREN'S....................

bbqsauce77: Don't spank them it makes them turn out really bad and then they will hit other people like thier wives and even thier kids its not humane

LOVE 1 ANOTHER:

spankdmonkey: Any form of corpral punishment is wrong .You just do not hit kids it is that simple .There is one circumstance where you can give them a small tap on the hand and that is when they go to touch a hot stove or electricity

.Because they could be in danger, but that small issue is usually sorted out pretty quick in early years

.You give kids time out or take away a toy or punish them in other ways like not taking them to the park that day .

You teach them non violence ,respect ,and good behaviour .and you reward them for that .You let your child know that they have dissapointed you and your hurt because they love you unconditionally and they soon pick up on it

.But never let them think your over dissapointed in them because you can over do it. where they can get problems psychologically when you continuously put them down .Never put them down just let them know you love them but your dissapointed in their bad behaviour.

never reward bad behaviour .But reward the good .If show the child that you mean what you say
be strict be firm but be fair ..Hitting does not solve anything and does more damage then you could possibly realise ,Ive heard parents and people say a good smack never hurt anyone well that is crap it does hurt ,In lots of ways which i wont go into to many to say

Lucid: What do kids learn from spanking? Fear. I have never spanked either one of my boys and never will. I believe there are other ways to discipline a child.

arnaface: (http://films-reviewer.blogspot.com/)

shoe_maker10: no spank

RequiemTenebris: I agree totally with with Lucid, (2 posts up.) not only does it instill fear, later on down the road you begin to resent the people who did that to you. not only that, you get people with weird kinks. Dixie57 has it ass backwards. (13 posts up.)

O the one O: In our religion.Its not allowed to beat kids until the age of ten, only if hampered. And does not allow anyone to beat them, but his parents for any reason. As for discipline, its comes by speaking with wisdom and beautiful and artistic way of politicization so that kids apply the rules without any effort from the parents.

PureSilver67: smack... and there's a difference between spanking and physical abuse.

I was smacked (i.e. open hand on the butt). I even had the belt. Got serious punishment for taking my brothers down to the farm dam when none of us could swim .... learnt not to do that ever again. Better to have living kids with a smack than dead kids undisciplined.

And I've just been 8 weeks across Australia and have had great comments on my daughters behaviour all the way - and they have been smacked. They also get time out and priveleges taken away. I also above all instill what's right and wrong and integrity in my girls. They know if they did something wrong e.g. throw rubbish out the car; grafitti anything; disrespect people ... they'd get their butt kicked (an expression, but means a smack and other punishment)

And above all ... I show them, by my own actions. Do what you expect them to do.

QueenReL: Every time they're bad tell them some odd story that makees them think they're adopted from a Portuguese coke salesman with an eyepatch that leads to hell.

RequiemTenebris: I would agree with QueenReL, absurdism is way better route to take... also turns out funner people.

shark angel: that is a awful way queen rel a mom i know telling a child something like that is not funny that is fear my kids know what hell is due to church but telling a child they came from there is wrong

cuarl: So Queen is being so mean to tell his kids they come from a Portuguese coke salesman with an eyepatch. Where as you tell them they will go to hell where a ugly devil with horns and hoves is waiting to torture you over and over in fire. Yea that makes sense

shark angel: they said leads to hell not me cuarl i am against using fear and spanking to manage kids is all

KanZ: I think that to spank is not bad, you must measure, you musn't put all your force. Just the dose in order to make understand the child's mistake. I was spanked in my childhood, I am not traumatised at all because it was justified.
So, if you won't spank, you need to use punishment (not corporal) to make understand that's mistake, it's what a child need, you can't explain everything to a child as to an adult. A child need to know that he may not do all that he wants, or he will not be able to live in society.

cuarl: Did you miss all of us that did not get a beating as a kid who works just fine? Or the whole countries in which its banned that have great societies?

Its not necessary to beat your own kid, you just choose to do it.

KanZ: I said that it isn't compulsory (learn to read please). I said it's neccassary to punish when child does bad, besides it's the same way for an adult, when a adult does bad, he is punished (jail, social reprimand etc...). That was only that I said, more the fact that spanking is not bad if it's justified, and I ADDED "IF YOU WON'T SPANK, YOU NEED TO USE A PUNISHMENT NOT CORPORAL", because punishement is necessary for everybody when it's necessary, period.