to spank or not to spank? (Page 2)
KailahMariah: well okay so, I have one thing to say, one thing to question. You're talking about the "spanking" and "no spanking" generations, BUT GUESS WHO RAISED THE NO SPANKING GENERATIONS? the "generation that was spanked" so your argument seems sort of superfluous to me. Most people my age, and even a bit older, have gotten spankings it has nothing to do with generations. In that, the argument makes no sense. If you think spanking is such a good thing, and you believe in your whole generation theory, then what sense does it make that your "spanking generation" chose to not spank their kids? Don't you think that if it was such a good thing, it would pass on through generations? Your argument made no sense to me so, I'm sorry but I had to call it out it is something I am very sensitive about
LaceyGirl: Every now and then there is a child that so reckless. I child that is so twisted. Running around beating up on everyone possible, calling parents nasty works, trying to burn stuff at the back of the mall. I young kid who just happens to get the feeling of being better than anyone and liked it so much that they are willing to have a fit an throw knives at your head.
If you have a better solution for someone who needs to be strictly directed in the right path before they turn into jeffery Dahmer, do tell.
My brother is a total nutcase. An absolute threat to the community. In his area crime drops to a percent of over 50%. He is dangerous and reckless. No "WORDS" of dicipline or methods worked for him. Nothing touched his urge to be violent and his born anger.
Many there is some cases where a spanking could help.
Today we are in a no-spanking time. Take a look outside. Girls are losing their virginity at an average of 14yrs old, youth crime is up, and people are out of control at a young age.
100% parent talking methods doesn't work.
I'm probably not having children and if I did I can assure that a spanking would be in place probably no more than twice in their lifetime but if they ever do something so dangerous that they could've been killed then I will. This method offers a lot more security to their life then a strict conversation. Some kids are out of control.
rockskull: kailah mariah: in retrospect i was obviously generalizing when i stated that my entire generation was spanked and turned out well adjusted. some bad apples result from the spank method as well as the time out method of discipline. if you and others choose your non spanking method based on instinct and trial and error that time outs, removing toys and privilages etc... works, then fine. but if y'all do it because some wacko psychologist on oprah or dr. phil told you spanking traumatizes children. no. i sincerely would love children someday, and hopefully i'll never need to spank them. i feel that communication is the foundation of a healthy family. peace km
shy_the_killer_panda: start disciplining your boys at a young age. set boundries and rules for them so that they know what to do and what to expect if they misbehave.
rockskull: that was the shortest response ever k-dawg. speaking of television, i think i might be addicted to it. you see, on an average sunday i watch 9 hours of n.f.l. football. that's just between 10am and 8pm. there would be an additional 4 hours in the evening for a grand total of 13 hours of television bliss. the t.v. is turned off between 4 and 5pm while i do a 3 mile run to ease the guilt. as a future psychologist, do you think 13 hours of t.v. in one day is excessive?
Johnny4040: I was spanked as a child, I remeber it. I have no resentment about the times I deserved it. Where I was aware of what rule I did not obey. The important thing is to be consistent. Keep in mind that a child does not think to far ahead, don't blame them for your own poor planning.
My sister never spanked her kids, and they are great. My brother never spanked his either, and they are terrible. I spanked my daughter twice in her life. My opinion is that it depends on the family dynamic, pack mentality. One parent is the boss. If your challenged, respond. No deals,just rules.
tdawn: Every child is different. Some children respond to time outs but I still have not figured out how to get a 2 or 3 year to actually sit and stay in a time out. My boys never would. I've a 17 year old and a 2 year old and I've swatted both of them at one time or another. Sometimes nothing else works to get their attention. My 17 year old never really cared much if he got swatted or not so after seeing it didn't work I stopped. With him, taking away games and such worked much better. With my current two year old, it works wonders and he doesn't repeat the actions for a long time. I rarely have found the need for a full "spanking" usually just a swat or two to get their attention worked for mine. But again, every child is different and until you start to see some personality with the little ones, you won't know for sure.
Carmen65: My dad always beleived in physicaly inforcing rules and my mom was strongly against it (their from 2 completely different countries) I have two brother and I was the middle child. I was whipped with a belt a few times, so was my older brother. After my mother said no more of that they came up with a different way. We were to stand in a corner for awhile and as we got older they'd put books or chairs on our heads! Haha. They hardly ever punish my younger brother and he is so spoiled and ungrateful. So punishment is good but don't over do it. I remember being scared of my dad until I was 16.(but my dad is hard to talk to about anything, he liked to yell) But kids do want limits, they will think that you don't really care if you don't give them limits.
PeopleAreStrange: I got 4 kids and from time to time they have had a spanking or when they was little a smack on the hand to let them no to leave someting alone.
And as they have gotten older I never have to smack them because they know respect and what they can and cannot do.
There have been so many times Ive been in a store or resturaunt where people are telling their brats 50 million times no and the kids pay no mind at all.Maybe if they had gave them a few swats on the ass when they was smaller they wouldnt be such monsters now.JMO
stellaruby: Firstly this is my own personal opinion and I definately take on board all your fews.
As a child I was smacked consistently around the head for one thing or another, some were trivial things others not. It eventually became a habit and I do not believe my mother could get through a day without hitting me.
As I got older and started a family myself, my mother apologised for being unkind.I found this difficult to except as she had
made me unhappy for years.
Personally, I feel if I get ANGRY with my children I am the one who has lost control and I will count to ten and leave the room till I feel I can speak to them in calm voice. Boundaries are in place and consequences follow ALWAYS.
I do not want to raise my children fearing me and being resentful as I was when I got older.
bahcatha2: If you spank your kids some human rights groups will accuse you of abusing them, my kid told me that they tell them in school to report their parents for spanking them.
magicfingers270: My wife and I are going through the disciplinary thing at the moment we have an 18month old that’s, how can I put it. A little savage. But what we have found that negative behaviour is her trying to express her independence and push her boundaries. An example is she is not allowed to jump on the couch. No matter what she always does and then looks at me to see what I will do it is the funniest thing in the world. What we do is pick her up and take her to the stairs that lead to the second floor and make her sit there as we sit beside her and explain what she is doing is not safe for her. Kids are smarter then we think she knows what she is doing. She is just trying to find out what you are going to do about it. We did this for about a week, and at the end no more jumping on the couch it is not even an issue. Long story short we have found that with a little time and effort she is learning that no means no not because we are unfair but because we have her best interest in mind. But I can’t stress this enough if you say no to something once you must always say no consistency is the key. Well I hope this helps a little bit.
Drummers_disease: I'd like to thank everyone for their replys and quick responces. It means alot to me for to know that people would heklp me out.
Sface.: I personally think that children do need discipline. But if you're gonna hit them, not hard. Just a little smack.
bahcatha2: some one came up with the idea that spanking kids only makes them violent, I came from the generation where kids were spanked even by school principals and in some cases teachers and I do not remember one kid ever bringing a gun to school I don't think it is spanking that makes them violent I think it is all of the violent video games they watch for hours at a time.
crazymanjoe: dude i think you need to show them that you are the parent, i think a good spanking will do good also ground them from doing things that they like, or take things away that they like; like talking on the phone textin on the computer, games, having friends come over etc, etc.