Problem/Solution (Page 4)

Wild__
Wild__: Get very drunk tonight and call in sick tomorrow and Tuesday morning.

The price of ales and stouts from local micro breweries exceeds the price of imports and I don't like mass produced piss water.

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dizzyb4u
dizzyb4u: Give up the demon drink

I have run out of chocolate
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ColonelKusanagi
ColonelKusanagi: eat sugar coated everything, perhaps a candied steak?

i hate this time of year.
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dizzyb4u
dizzyb4u: Gives you a but this is a terrible time stat wise for abusive behavior

Do not eat red meat...(keep the next replies as clean as you can . )
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ColonelKusanagi
ColonelKusanagi: you can candy some bacon or get some girl scouts to bring you more chocolate,i hear they'll give you most anything at gunpoint.

i really can't shake this sour mood.
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dizzyb4u
dizzyb4u: Its the time of year when everyone tells you to be happy eat turkey etc etc...
One year I asked my own what do YOU want to eat... so on Christmas day I cooked curry ...steak...& some salmon for me

My mother in law is coming to stay for holidays & doesn,'t drink ...
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ColonelKusanagi
ColonelKusanagi: serve her some snappy virgin drinks and drink her share of booze as well to make her more tolerable

stupid football is gonna cut into my cartoons again. :/
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oneamazingworld
oneamazingworld: cut the espn cable - go online for the cartoons or get a blueray/dvd

snow plows out gotta get to work
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Geoff
Geoff: Steal a snow plough

No snow here, don't want to go to work.
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oneamazingworld
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oneamazingworld
oneamazingworld: work sucks = pays the bills get a rich friend

christmas tree on fire cheap lights - how do i convince insurance co not our fault?
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ColonelKusanagi
ColonelKusanagi: buy brand new boxed of super cheap lights with UL inspection stickers on them, peel the stickers off and put them on the burned ones, save the box, frame the company that made the lights. also never use anything larger than a c7 without it being a "cool bright" unless you wanna reenact gremlins.

my spine hurts
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oneamazingworld
oneamazingworld: pharmaceuticals are great but just do exercise rest and acetaminophen

frigging col here - electricity out no fireplace no generator - true
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ColonelKusanagi
ColonelKusanagi: start a trash fire, remember to ventilate.

i want a smoke
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Geoff
Geoff: Then smoke. That's what I do.

I want it to stop raining.
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ColonelKusanagi
ColonelKusanagi: stop dancing and insult the gods. sacrifice a goat in your spare time while it's raining, roast and pass the time while you wait for meatiness.

my sister lost her keys and keeps borrowing my car.
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Geoff
Geoff: Lose your keys, then she can't.

I stopped dancing, I insulted the gods, it's still raining. Do I need to insult different gods? I've run through a list of the 10 most popular in England so far.
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ColonelKusanagi
ColonelKusanagi: did you sacrifice the goat? perhaps move up to people? have you tried getting around in a bubble?

my contacts scratched my eyes and my glasses are giving me a migraine
(Edited by ColonelKusanagi)
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oneamazingworld
oneamazingworld: lol see my daughs Halloween pic - visine, saline eye bath, polysporin, no makeup - lol
cross your fingers -Vicodin for migraine

is there a correlation between life events and holidays? - births death etc
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ColonelKusanagi
ColonelKusanagi: yes but correlation is not causation. santa dying in your chimney is probably an exception.

i never wear makeup, i'm allergic to everything.
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Geoff
Geoff: I'd say you don't need any. But if you feel the need, wear a Hallowe'en mask.

Part of my job includes tech support for Apple products. I really hate Apple.
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ColonelKusanagi
ColonelKusanagi: i'm on an old mac and it was a bitch to get fixed after i picked it up and slammed it, luckily i had just met a great tech. you may hate apple but the people that use it aren't necessarily doushwaggles. i bought mine cheap from a friend. if you do hate the dick bags that call for support you could always give them subtly bad advice that will degrade their system quickly but not so quickly that you're still on the line.

i have the oiliest forehead ever, i could oil a pan and cook with the grease.
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dizzyb4u
dizzyb4u: Use some "blotting paper" if that fails put the Halloween mask back on *Geoff ´s previous reply

mother in law been here only two days seems like two weeks ..:
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Corwin
Corwin: They say that the majority of fatal "accidents" happen in the home.

I'm all out of bacon.
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ColonelKusanagi
ColonelKusanagi: slaughter a person, we all taste like bacon

i have a genuine phobia of masks
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