Bad decisions

Mark: *leans back in the rocking chair, and chews on the corncob pipe as he tells his tale...

I reckon, I was 'bout 11 when it all happened. On my way to junior high school. 7th grade. I was carrying a stack of books too big for a backpack, so I had 'em in both hands, arms extended downward, books stacked up too high for me to see the world in front of me.

It was a sprinkler. Heading downhill, I didn't see it, and tripped over it. It didn't hurt. It was embarrassing. Probably would have made a great Youtube video, with the books flying - if they had had such a thing back in the day.

I picked up the books, and continued on to school. Once I got to my first period French class, I noticed the blood.

The sprinkler had ripped open my leg, just above the top of the foot - a gash about two inches up the leg, a quarter of an inch wide. Tore all the meat out of it. Exposed the bone. I told my French teacher I needed a bandage.

Ms. Lorenz examined it, and said I needed to go to the nurse. I knew I didn't. Just a bandage. All the classrooms had first aid kits. She said it needed disinfectant. I knew it didn't. Just a bandage. She refused to slap a bandage over it without cleaning it, and gave me an ultimatum. Disinfectant - or the nurse. I chose the nurse.

The nurse took one look and didn't hesitate. "That needs stitches". No way in hell. Just a bandage. We argued. I didn't budge. Then the disinfectant argument again. Not a chance. Eventually, some gauze, some tape, back to class.

It took almost 4 months to get the bandage off. The gash filled in with new flesh. Liquid flesh. Filled the space in the wound, and seeped into the bandage, and fused together. Bandage embedded deep in new skin. So I had to wait for the new skin to become old skin and the bandage to grow its way up to the surface and fall off.

My mother has always been over-protective. When she saw the scar, she was IRATE. Incensed that a medical professional allowed an 11 year old to decide that a wound that would leave the scar it did didn't need stitches. Or disinfectant. And allowed this without consulting the parents of the stupid child.

It's still a very clear scar. Mostly because it grew back funny - having fabric embedded in new tissue does that.

But Mother of God, Clint. How the hell are you still ALIVE???

Excellency: thanks MArk, i am a clumsy dude.. today im working on a roof at my home, we have 2 nailers..wanna come video me?!?!? lol!!and for the record i work very safe, always have..its recreation that gets me every time.. i play too recklessly!

Mark: *puts together a film crew and heads to Canada to film 'Jackass The Movie - Canada Gone Wild'*