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Marie's survey!
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Posted November 2 2008 03:48 PM
Mood: Mellow
Doing: things
LAST PERSON...
Person you hugged: Jennifer
Person you texted: Jack
Person to text you: Jack
Person to call you: Drew
Person you called: Paige
Person you kissed: Jack
Person to sleep over: Jack, Jenn, and Paigey
Person you hung out with: Jack
Person to make you cry: I don't know . . . I think Jack
Person who made you smile: JOSHY
WHEN DID YOU LAST...
Take a shower: Earlier today
Hug someone: today
You cried: Few days ago
You called someone: 10-15 mins ago
You texted someone: 5 mins ago
Had chicken nuggets: Like a week ago
Failed a test: I haven't for a long time
Went to church: It's been a long time
Went to camp: I've never been to a camp, but I went camping a couple of weekends ago
Bought something: Earlier today
WHERE WAS THE LAST...
Place you rode to in a car? To the gym
Place you ate? home
Store you went to? Bath and Boday Works
Place you had ice cream? Twisters
Mountain you climbed? The Smokies
Camp you went to? never been to one
Place you put your phone? On the night stand
Friend's house you went to? Jack's
Concert you attended? Jack's band 
Place you went for a party? Lizz's costume party!!
LOVE LIFE...
How is your life right now? My life is awsome
Any crushes right now? On my boyfrined 
Is there anyone you wish was still in your life? As far as love life no . . . But life in general yes.
How do you feel about your last ex? He's an awsome guy
How does he/she feel about you? We are still friends so we're cool
Can exes be freinds? Yepp
Have you ever been in love? Yes
Has your heart ever been broken? Yes
Have you ever broke someones heart? I don't know
Are you happier single or in a relationship? In a relationship
How many people have you slept with? none - I'm a virgin
Is it okay to have more than one bf/gf? No, it's not EVER!
Dates: Group or One on One? I like one on one 
FAVORITES...
Food: chinese
Movie: SOO many.
Activity: writing, reading, hanging out
Vacation Spot: I live in a vacation spot lol
Music Type: Jazz,Blues,Sca . . . also way too many to name
Animal: seagulls
Vehicle: I don't really have a preference
- Yeah so I love surveys lol. Copy and paste this survey then repost it ith your answers!
love, Shelby
another rant
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Posted October 29 2008 03:54 PM
Mood: Contemplative
Writing: this blog
How many times in life do we let ourselves down? Unsure about the future, still dwelling in the past and standing still as time goes by; I am troubled by the uncertainty of my existence. Often I lay down at night, not able to sleep, only able to stare into darkness wondering if I will know the question that lay uneasy unto my heart. Searching for answers and experimenting new things often leave me further away from my conquests, whatever they maybe. Somehow hoping that something as priceless as life wouldn’t become something worthless. It is said we are born equal (and I believe in this), but self worth can easily be categorized in hierarchies based how we capitalize on this priceless gift. One of my favorite quotes states: "A human beings greatest fear is not of success, but that we powerful beyond measure." At first it seemed nonsensical, until I realized the truth and profoundness of this statement. I find that to be my own greatest fear right now. How could I be so afraid of my own self potential? I know somewhere in me lies a decent human being, but I am too afraid to let it out. So I ask the question to myself in pity; how many times do I let myself down? To be honest, everyday I wake up realizing that nothing about me has changed, I am still a narcissistic, self destructive sloth with youth and brain cells to kill. I always hope that tomorrow will bring the new light of day, that somehow I have lived to my potential. I will keep striving for that glorious day until it comes, I know it will. Until that day, when I see that giant man, I will be searching for something greater than any person can offer me. As the search goes on I know in my heart I cannot stay here, I have to experience the world outside of the television. I did not write this for people to pity me. I wrote because most people in my life that I care about don’t even know who I am or what I am about, and they deserve to know.
-shelby
this song is not about love.
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Posted October 14 2008 02:54 PM
Mood: Apathetic
Listening to: oasis' new album
this song is not about love
what really turns the gears in the states? what's really important is what looks good on everyone and tastes good on everything what they eat, sleep, and breathe
cheat for it, live for it, or lie for it or beg, or borrow, or cry for it work for it, steal for it, try for it, lust for it, kill for it, die for it
and in the end, we'll sit back with a beer and reminisce on how funny it is that they left the color green out of "the red white and blue."
if it's true what they say that you get what you pay for i'd give my life to see some change
And here it goes . . . again
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Posted October 14 2008 02:51 PM
Mood: Apathetic
Listening to: oasis' new album
So, today is one of those days where I'm going to sit back and acknowledge the fact that may have been wrong for the first time in...well...a while.
Yes, I'm always on my toes and my mind is always reeling, but it's when I let my emotions take the steering wheel and leave all logical thought to jump out the window that I start to lose control of myself and skid into oblivion. Well, you didn't necessarily tell me, but I overheard it...and all this time I had ignored it because it isn't what I wanted to hear. So where do I go from here? Do I put a knife to my emotions to regain control and throw them to the backseat? Or do I continue to let them drive me on this scenic journey that will inevitably end up in my racing down the side of a cliff in a beautiful, explosive crash? It's difficult to realize that you'll never measure up to the standards someone else has set, or fill the mold they left in the sheets before you. It's not even so much literal as much as it is emotional. I have no idea how to appeal to the parts of you that she tore up and left for dead. I wish so badly that the qualities in me that are most redeeming would outshine the giant black hole she's created. It's difficult when you know you're the best and you can't get what you want, or what you feel like you deserve. You constantly ask yourself if you're doing something wrong. Am I doing something wrong? No. I don't think so. I'm just being honest. Now shut up, because if there's one thing I hate, it's a backseat driver.
Rant.
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Posted October 11 2008 09:43 AM
Mood: Relaxed
Sorry about this rant, I went to a coffee shop last night with Jack and I had an eye opening experience that I wrote about when I got home . . .
All right, moving on, as I watched the acoustic sets before me, you know, typical indie singer/songwriter shit, a part of me softened. So long had I been so against the typical coffee-shop-stereotype of indie life and its followers, but in that moment, I watched a "stereotypical" indie girl flip open a sketchbook, and inside were these very intricate drawings that must have taken her hours to create. Under any previous circumstance, I would have dismissed these sketches as ill-attempted evidence of being a cliche indie drone, but, I cocked my head to the side and for just one moment, the snooty attitudes of everyone in the room started to melt around me, and I realized that maybe these kids really did find comfort and solace in the things I deemed impossible to be comfortable or comforting. Maybe these kids really did find beauty in the diamonds in the rough, or really felt something behind the seemingly meaningless scribbles and scrawls that adorned their oh-so-"similar" journals. Have I been wrong in my stereotype of these snobs-of-the-scene, or was my initial impression correct? So often have I tried to be undoubtedly open-minded, but, around the indie crowd I always felt a kind of pretentious tension that I could never overcome until tonight. Maybe I'm seeing something in nothing, but, maybe that's what's comfortable and comforting for me, and as an individual, I'm happy I found that.
I hope I can learn to find the beauty in everyone, and I hate sterotyping/classifying/genre-fying people, but, often times, these people I speak of seem to go out of their way to be categorized, and it really irks me. Talking about veganism or individuality for attention is what drives me away, but, the camaraderie among these kids reminded me of what I'd see in my hometown, you know, at the Against Me! show at the community center. I was truly and honestly moved by the friendliness between the members of the audience.
Maybe it was the delicious coffee going to my head, or the fantastic music going through my body, but tonight I felt enlightened, and, for the first time, comfortable around those I deemed personally preconceived and ill-intentioned. I'm so glad Jack invited me to this eye-opening phenomenon.
I love this song.
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Posted October 5 2008 06:20 PM
Mood: Tired
Listening to: this song
Step out the front door like a ghost into the fog Where no one notices the contrast of white on white And in between the moon and you the angels get a better view Of the crumbling difference between wrong and right I walk in the air between the rain through myself and back again Where? I dont know Maria says shes dying through the door I hear her crying Why? I dont know
Round here we always stand up straight Round here something radiates
Maria came from nashville with a suitcase in her hand She said shed like to meet a boy who looks like elvis She walks along the edge of where the ocean meets the land Just like shes walking on a wire in the circus She parks her car outside of my house Takes her clothes off Says shes close to understanding jesus She knows shes more than just a little misunderstood She has trouble acting normal when shes nervous
Round here were carving out our names Round here we all look the same Round here we talk just like lions But we sacrifice like lambs Round here shes slipping through my hands
Sleeping children better run like the wind Out of the lightning dream Mamas little baby better get herself in Out of the lightning
She says its only in my head She says shhh I know its only in my head But the girl on car in the parking lot says man you should try to take a shot Cant you see my walls are crumbling? Then she looks up at the building and says shes thinking of jumping She says shes tired of life she must be tired of something
Round here shes always on my mind Round here hey man got lots of time Round here were never sent to bed early And nobody makes us wait Round here we stay up very, very, very, very late I cant see nothing, nothing round here Catch me if Im falling
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