latitude

Off to the races

Ones life can be a train wreck but we all seem to be able to get and walk away, albeit a little scarred.  Work keeps me from going to the ledge.  I read a book by Nick Hornby, Long Way Down I think it was called.  Taking a humerous look at a small group of people that all meet on the roof of a building intending to kill themselves but ending up bonding and having a humerous existence together.  I have been in both extremes, living life the fullest (starting a business, REALLY enjoying work, the birth of my sons, seeing places that I travel to for work) and also at the other end (where there seems to be no purpose and that fading away seems to be the only option).  But like a train wreck one has to get up and walk away from that end of spectrum, the only thing is I don't seem to be able to do is to find a rung or handle to grasp to start.  That is why I am here, meet new people and get to know them and learn and teach with them.  We all have stories that will make you cry, I want to feel passionate about life again and see the good side to things.  I think it is a buddhist saying that the journey to happiness or dispair is made in a thousand small steps, so small steps it will be.  Where I am now seems to bring the worst out of me and my partner, and I look forward and I know that I have to make changes, painful ones.  Another reason for talking to more people: perspective and experience.