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Random Thoughts in Pseudo-structured Existence (Module 1)
Posted January 2 2008 07:43 AM
(Disclaimer: Defense aside, this entry isn't drawn from personal experience. Well, at least not while I was writing this, I was thinking of another friend. Just so my friends, who'd been listening to my rants a couple of months ago, will be spared of the idea that, hey Toff's bitterness litany strikes again - because friends, I'm no longer bitter. hehehe. Again, defense aside. hehehe) When somebody leaves you (or at least appeared to have done so), it might feel as if something has been significantly taken away from you. No, I won't delve into the mushy and cliche statements that it feels empty without her/him, because that is too overrated and I'm not a sucker for such. I actually may feel more brutal and violent - more like an amputation of a limb or another organ. It's not actually the pain that you will notice, it's the lingering feeling that things won't be as complete as before. Resent - that's the word. The thing about giving (too) much of who you are to another isn't really on whether or not the other party could reciprocate it but rather on how much your expectation of what piece/s of your partner is willing to give commensurates to what s/he actually does. Perhaps the trouble (I'm trying to be keen on definitions per C. W. Mills) isn't really on unrequited love. Expectation states friends. If it matches, well and good, you're entitled to a bond that (may) last a lifetime; if it doesn't don't give yourselves a harsh time - you're only human (Note: my use of such a statement doesn't highlight on the limitations of being human, rather the depth and capacity to understand and reckon the complexities of human behavior and social phenomena). But if the thing is that you feel "lugi", or to put it in more colloquial language - you didn't get your money's worth (of course, this isn't Home TV Shopping. There's no 18-mo. warranty and definitely no money back guarantee), that might be another story. It's like an ROI (return of investment) concern. Don't worry, your "investment" will come back to you in terms that may not be what you expected but will definitely become handy some time. Besides, that piece of you that you gave out will definitely be replenished by another, if you've got the 'congenial' perspective, it will be better than what you gave to charity.  It's also known as character-building. So going back to resent, I'd like to go back to Nietzcshe. To resent is to be stuck in the lamentous and perilous paradigm of slave morality - you'd always yearn for the other side of the wall, but the tragedy of it all is that you will never achieve it. Be your own master. Be superman! Use every experience to cultivate your own garden but if you still can't help it, think of these measly beings as your stepping stones to something bigger. Hehehe bad eh? Well, we're entitled to being mean guiltless pass once in a while. (And yes, I will tell myself these every so often.  )
Year-end Jitters
Posted January 2 2008 07:42 AM
If there's one thing I really like about another year beginning, it would be the legitimizing of the reconstruction of the self. Albeit the apparent tendency to be "ningas cogon" as regards self-improvement, my main thesis remains that the project of the reformation and continuous construction of an identity (or various identities at that) is inevitable whether we are aware of it or not. Forgive the verbosity, but all I am trying to say is that here we are again in the threshold of another year and another opportunity to start fresh. Thank you 2007! This may have been my longest year to date where a vast spectrum of experiences at various intensities have been felt. From the perils of being a Sociology senior at a politically-motivated University of the Philippines to the daily struggles of being introduced to a world that almost do not resemble what is thought to be its microcosm (ergo, the never-ending adjustments). Love lost and friendships strengthened. Self-esteem issues and reality checks. Working in Makati, moonlighting through the web, and dreaming bigger. Weight gains and loss, on and off dieting, and waking up to the reality that you are leading an almost sedentary lifestyle. Thinking at the back of your head that you could actually do better and consciously veering away from the much dreaded culture of mediocrity. Trying to map out a life of your own, uhm try until like the next five years. Dealing with selective OCD. Wow! I'm about to explode just trying to contain what else there is. I was such a year! (deep breathing, still trying to catch my breath) Then there's another year coming - 2008. For a minute now, I can't help but recall social theory's dilemma of dependence and departure. The problem of building something anew is the overwhelming thought that everything conceivable must have already been built and there is no other venue for innovation. Which dimensions will I have to cling on to and which areas should I evacuate? My attempt to give a parallelism to my project of the self - the pressure of having experienced a really wide array, what else is there to conquer? Of course, the more conscious me would believe that hey, life promises a bottomless pit of experiences and an overflowing stock of lessons to learn from. And perhaps it really does, but at this point, I'm still in limbo. I'm hopeful and optimistic about the future, but I don't know on what particularly. This is probably the phase where I reckon all that has been, try to process them, and come up with a synthesis. In other words, make sense of the year (no matter how pandemonium it might have been) and being the pragmatist that I claim to be, extract what I can for the further cultivation of my potentials - save for the next year. The good news friends is - I have 4 days to do that. 
Invisible Omniscience
Posted January 2 2008 07:39 AM
Reality may not be real. The senses could actually betray its beholder. There is no world out there, only interpretations that attempt, albeit most often in vain, to capture experience which is still inadequate to represent the totality of existence. However, many, especially those who claim to be intellectually engaged, still try to understand and grasp what it ultimately is all about. Can it actually be fathomed? Many have tried to engulf the complexity and depth of the so-called multi-faceted reality and nothing can prove if they have been successful in this endeavor. Nothing’s definite. Only that the mind continues to search for meaning. No matter if its presence is acknowledged or not, the mind claims to know. Invisible Ominiscience. (This is my own brand of the attempt to be an arbiter of reality. I do not claim generality or sheer truth in my statements, only candor and spontaneity.)
When Intellectualizing Means Living
Posted January 2 2008 07:36 AM
Oftentimes, people in the discipline I belong to (that includes me) are taunted to "over-intellectualize" everything. Taunted, being used besides more passive words such as told/perceived/construed because it comes with disdain, perhaps because we put too much complexity on what has already been sreened as simple and basic. I would always tell my blockmate now officemate/teammate that Socio is both a blessing and a curse, because we would never cease to analyze, even the most minuteae of details in ALL our undertakings. Well, perhaps it just comes with the package... I remember before, I would always say go back to the basics. Well after some years, I will still say the same, however I attach a totally new meaning to it. Going back to the basics doesn't mean that we have to be simplistic about things. Simplistic is different from simple. Being simplistic is denying an argument or an experience an opportunity to be explored and taking things as they already are. This allows us to oversee the many taken for granted realities of everyday living. I am male bacause I am male. I want to be a development worker because I want to be a development worker. Although I do not invalidate these statements, I say that there are more to these than what the surface has scratched. Simplifying things is chunking these realities into its many dimensions/backgrounds/orientations/et cetera ang tracing these to see how it becomes a coherent whole. This would allow us to have a more comprehensive understanding (and sometimes acceptance) of daily realities (so we won't be as resentful or complacent of what we are or where we are in). Oh well... Bottomline is, going back to the basic doesn't warrant us to simply stay in our protective shells (aka comfort zones) after scratching a bit of the surface of really convulutin realities... Am I over-intellectualizing things. Perhaps. But I don't care... hehehe
Perspective Shift
Posted January 2 2008 07:32 AM
Nowadays, we have every reason not to vote. Glossy political ads and creative jingles with hollow political bearing. Rhetorics in the guise of recycled platforms. Cyclical vicious debates and character bashing sugarcoated by cheap theatrics. Trapos camouflaged as dogmatic ideologues. Desensitized themes of progress and development. Over/misuse of the word masa. A plethora of other familiar reasons. I remember the elder members of the family saying how very fortunate they were of being able to experience the golden age of Philippine politics when those in office were statesmen who drafted policies and debated on them on a higher notch of intellect and integrity. They say that it was the time when the people (at least on how my grandparents perceived it) have high esteem on public servants thus giving them the incentive of voting for their leaders. However, there came a point where politics started to degenerate and the people started to lose interest in the business of politics. Then again, we should also be mindful that this view may not necessarily be representative of the general pulse, rather may only speak for that of the educated middle class who claim to have knowledge for a working democracy. Voters turn out remain high in the Philippines, as it came out in one of the discussions in my political science course on government. I am not in the position to spell out reasons and that is another convoluted discourse. The point however is that, the term politics started to become an aberration of what it intends to mean – Pulitika and mapulitika became to mean dirty and chaotic. Then swiftly and painfully, it became a self-fulfilling prophecy. As soon as it has been perceived as real, they became real in its consequences. At this point, it is important to reckon that in one way or another, we have the ability to construct our reality and transform it in whatever fashion we desire. I am not entitled to invalidate the claims formerly made as I believe that there are indeed material conditions to prove its existence. However, as I acknowledge these, I would like to detach from the bondage it imposes and go towards a reality that may be accused of being a cliché – It’s up to us. Such a statement may be charged simplistic and unwarranted. Perhaps true – as compared to a long list of concrete prognoses for change. However, such a statement does not nominally claim that it is inevitable and natural rather, it is imperative to change vocabularies and meanings considering a relapse in our morale. In the advent of many departures in the practice of democracy in the Philippines from its ideal-type, if there’d be no change of perspective, what we perceive now as dysfunctional may eventually normalize itself to our consciousness leaving us no other drive to cause changes. I am not in the behaviorist school where we become passive recipients and reactionaries to stimuli, rather I adhere to a pragmatist stance that we should be proactive, filter meanings and realities, and transform them into what would work. We are liberated to pursue feasible changes in a newly constructed landscape of realities. It’s just a matter of perspective. On a less philosophical and scholastic standpoint, the call for us to shift prospects have been more resounding not to mention the responsibility to respond to the society’s plea to progress incumbent on the youth being a potent force for change. I would not want the future generation to look at ours either with apathy or disdain. I would not want to tell my grandchildren stories of our generation retreating from that great challenge that would have made our legacy. And definitely, I would not want to be caught dead with eyes wide open with treachery and disgrace lurking the society. The dead end of our society is when we give up on the hope of building things anew. The youth in me dare says that we should not allow ourselves to be mired in the pessimism of some of our frustrated forefathers, rather, bravely take on the challenge and opportunity to do great things for the country. It is not true that our idealism is immature and naïve. We refute the cruel accusations that these are baseless and misguided, for our generation is critical and learned. Gone are the days when the young are not to engage in the “matters of the adult” and remain silent in the whereabouts of the society. It is now especially, that we hold the legitimacy to make future-pivoting decisions. It is now that we make our collective idealism resounding enough to cause long-term changes in a nation attempting, for years, to define itself. It is now that we are called to not only be aware but conscious of the predicaments our society has recurrently undergone and be daring and progressive at address these in a brand of leadership only the zest and idealism of the youth can provide. With these, I can say that WE HAVE EVERY REASON TO VOTE as we have every opportunity to draft our future that upholds the character of the dignified Filipino. In these times, to show our love for our country, we are not called to die or even shed blood. In fact, we need to be live in order to do so. Once again we are only called to make an important choice. All it takes to be a hero is to make a good one.
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