Men's English

Saturday, March 15, 2008 3:50:00 AM   Mood: Melancholy      


Men's English:

I'm hungry" = I'm hungry.

"I'm sleepy" = I'm sleepy.

"I'm tired" = I'm tired.

"Do you want to go to a movie?" = I'd eventually like to have s** with you.

"Can I take you out to dinner?" = I'd eventually like to have s** with you.

"Can I call you sometime?" = I'd eventually like to have s** with you.

"May I have this dance?" = I'd eventually like to have s** with you.

"Nice dress!" = Nice cleavage!

"You look tense, let me give you a massage." = I want to fondle you.

"What's wrong?" = I don't see why your making such a big deal about this.

"What's wrong?" = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now?

"What's wrong?" = I guess s** tonight is out of the question.

"I'm bored." = Do you want to have s**?

"I love you." = Let's have s** now.

"I love you, too." = Okay, I said it... we'd better have s** now!

"Yes, I like the way you cut your hair." = I liked it better before.

"Yes, I like the way you cut your hair." = $50 and it doesn't look that much different!

"Let's talk." = I am trying to impress you by showing you that I am a deep person and maybe then you'd like to
have s** with me.

"Will you marry me?" = I want to make it illegal for you to have s** with other guys.

(while shopping) "I like that one better." = Pick any freakin' dress and let's go home!

"I don't think that blouse and that skirt go well together." = I am gay.

Women's English

Saturday, March 15, 2008 3:48:00 AM   Mood: Amused      


Women's English:

Yes = No

No = Yes

Maybe = No

I'm sorry = You'll be sorry

We need = I want

It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now.

Do what you want = You'll pay for this later.

We need to talk = I need to complain.

Sure go ahead = I don't want you to.

I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!

You're so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot.

You're certainly attentive tonight = Is s** all you ever think about?

Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs.

This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house.

I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper.....

Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!

I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep.

Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive.

How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really not going to like.

I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV.

Is my b*** fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful.

You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me.

Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, you're dead.]

I'm not yelling! = Yes, I am yelling because I think this is Important.

The same old thing = Nothing

Nothing = Everything

Nothing, really = It's just that you're such an a******.

JoKeS anyone?

Saturday, March 15, 2008 1:23:00 AM   Mood: Wired      


If you're being chased by a police dog, try not togo through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through ahoop of fire. They're trained for that!