ScrapScruffy

A Long Walk to an Unforseen Incident

Today was like any other day. My eyes abruptly opened to the realization of my chronic pain as I stumbled to breathe waiting for my body to relax. It subsided...I moved to my side looking to my room deciding to head to the washroom to wash my mouth. The water burned cycling my mouth. After I made myself breakfast involving rice, cold potatoes, and chicken. I drank coca-cola on ice then finished with french vanilla coffee. In the morning I watched indiana jones deciding to see my family. None of my cousins answered so I decided to go on a long walk. I shaved today, I washed my body, I wore familiar clothes; and I exited the house. The sun beamed bright on my walk as I saw many things. A father holding his sons hand, some thugs giving me looks as I stared back at them. An african-canadian rushing to a bus; a girl overly dressed for the summer. One young couple cuddling under the shade of a tree nestled in each others arms. Under a bridge as I sat on the sidewalk off to the road a nice muscle car passed me by with a mid-20's girl giving me an awful look next to her boyfriend. Then I finally came back...but before I went straight home; I sat on a bench under the shades of trees. I had a pepsi in hand as an older lady comes towards me...being myself I draw my hand in an upright manner and say hello. She looks at me...then returns her head to her steps as she makes her way to the bench collapsing to sit down. I figure she doesnt want to speak so I turn away as she says something. Quickly turning towards her I remove my headphones and reply, "Pardon me?" as she says "Hello." I once again say hello and stare off into the distance looking for things to say. Then what comes to mind is I ask if she comes to the park often and she says on nice weather...then we began to talk about each others lives. She told me she was 96, yet her hair was colored auburn and her skin still youthful. She remarked about her back pains, and was surprised to hear I had chronic pains. She told me of her family as her husband whom she was married to since she was 19 years old has passed away 6 years ago, so did her brothers and sisters reciting their ages. I apologized and she would shrug as she looked into the distance. I remarked perhaps they're looking after her to stay to watch her family; but she says they're all happily married and she's alone with the house her husband left her. Today she told me was their anniversary; and remarked how they would often go for walks even further down this park, but ever since he passed away she wasnt able to pass this bench. She was romanian and came here with her children who are now grandparents in their 70's when they were no more then 5 and younger. We shared our lives seeing both how harsh it was, without any resolve of anything positive, but the one that her grandchild had the same name as me and how much I differed from her grand children calling me a kind boy...but my first impression was a bit frightening to her. We sat and talked until we came to a silence where she quietly said she had to close her eyes now as she drifted into a sleep. I sat there for some time as I peered over as she looked uncomfortable in her hunched over manner...I ask if she'd like to go home to rest as I gently place my hand on her shoulder...her body was cold. I then started calling out to her as I felt her wrist and chest as she passed away right beside me...I called 911 and told them the full story as they came to pick her up and began to walk home completely shaken by what happened. I went behind the house, opened the door; and sat down on this chair holding my face hunched over...then I turned on my laptop and began to write.

A Little About Myself (Perceptions)

People don't realize the many things of life that is easy. You can build a house and fill it with people. You can amass a fortune and be a king. You'll find love and I believe the two of you will live happily ever after. The real hard part of life is to take that walk and hold yourself true to your direction. We all have our obstacles; and to overcome it is the most difficult task to come by.

I've seen people fallen prey to such trivial problems in life, and to the most sincere thing's I've said have been refuted and inreturned trashed... I'm no different.

At the same time I wonder if my mind is in any way warped. I don't believe however that negative self-emotions is an illness, but whenever I approached a doctor; it was. Is the world just supposed to be filled with people mindlessly happy about themselves? I wonder who made certain drugs illegal, and anti-depressants legal. Regardless at a young age my father would take me to his friend's bar who accepted me a child to come inside where I encoutered many people who did drugs recreationally. Some of them would shelter themselves, others approached me with their sentiments of life and stories of how amazing drugs are. Bottomline even though I was seven, I could derive that their substance abuse was a masquerade to an actual person who just warped their perceptions. I would look through these people and study this lifestyle and immediantly wanted no part of it... my parents further fueled my hate of substance abuse with their alcoholism.

It's not that I hate people who do drink, or even aspire to drugs. I myself don't see my life to be involved in the sort. At a young age I was filled with optomism and tried to aspire to living my life drug free and finding/attaining a lifestyle that would fill me with happiness with my bare and raw perceptions. This didn't involve only me, but even those around me; and espicially those I loved... but as I said earlier life is filled with obstacles and overcoming those is the most difficult task to come by.

I remember I was only ten... I woke up one summer day as the sun was beaming. I later got dressed and took some cash to a Canadian Tire. A younger gentleman approached me asking if I needed help and surprised him by asking for an anchor that screws into a tree with rope for a tire swing. He looked at me extremely curious, but willingly helped me with providing ample products to support my weight which I quickly bought and returned home. After a bit of time of securing that anchor through my ceiling, tieing that rope and moving furniture from leg length; I sat in the corner of my room with my knees up, arms around my legs and my head driven down in a fetal position. Who knows how much time passed as I weighed and argued thoughts... the sun light was bright draping my room red from the shut curtains. Finally I surfaced my head to take my small body towards a noose holding handcuffs which I found in the park one day while rummaging in the woods. I raised myself with a chair and slipped it around my neck cuffing my hands behind my back. In a breath I abruptly knocked the chair away as I gave a jerk watching my curtains flaring as I shook about trying to free myself. I ended up cutting my wrists trying to slip out as my body became more and more rested. I felt the room begin to brighten with every distinct detail until it blanked to darkness. The contact with my physical body was severed as the only thing left was the sound of my voice speaking strangely. The only thing you could understand was the deep heartache of fear settle as I saw no more, heard no more, smelled, breathed... no more.



I then awoke on my floor with my cuff's undone; the wounds on my wrists healing and the noose unravelled from the end attached to the anchor with a very apparent neck laceration.



It was abrupt and sudden. I wasn't depressed or had deeply thought of it collectively. I managed my days baring to being positive about my life. Evidently behind it however, I just couldn't handle how difficult it was. The world and how hard it'll knock you down, and at most or even all the time it becomes evident that it'll only continue downward. I wonder if I'll ever heal, or find someone that'll confine themselves to keeping this boy alive. Someone I love who won't regret or reject me, but love me for all that I am despite how negative and useless I can be. And for all those out there; you can go build a house, make all the money in the world, become or be anyone and anything you can ever dream of. You'll just need to take the hits and I promise I'll be honest with you, and tell you to keep pushing no matter how silly or impossible you make it seem. For myself however I made up my mind; and we'll see what happens with the days that follow.

May lovers beseeh you,
May peace always be with you,
May grace both god and from others find you.

Videos~

Below is me doing a little improv on guitar, Enjoy~

The second edition to my music skills...Enjoy~



My first try @ making videos ;o


More experimenting...a little nit picky about how this one turned out


ich'Liebe'deine'Schuhe! (And yes, I only have three pairs of shoes <.< )



omg, the first video where I'm talking o.o (Oh...it's so bad -_-)

The Greatest Romance? You Decide~

What's the greatest romance ever?

Well I'll tell you something I do find romantic.

We both see them everyday,
But we can only see them completely at seperate times.

The greatest romance ever is the sun and the moon.

Now, you must wonder how they are romantic;
Well, it's actually their indifferances and relationship that makes them beautiful.

For one the sun is bright and beautiful,
While it charms everything else to dance around it;
Whilst the moon sits in space small, grey, and lonely.

However this is what they do share;
They both stand in the absolute dark in space,
But even so distant the sun catches the moon and makes it shine every night;
And because of the light from the sun,
The moon is able to glow and help everyone admire it.

You may call this science,
But I call it love;
And it's quite romantic.

A Little About Myself (Favorite Place)

I stare at the ambient light flooding its rays from my lamp. The light so dim with an orange glow whilst I lye with my head upright against the wall staring silently; arms folded, breath calm. Slowly I diverge the ripple of lights spreading across my room reminiscing of the way rain dances to the wind... however it's different from the city rain. Gently I shut my eyes taking a deep breath through my nose remembering the smell of apples... I'm young again with my hair soft lying in strands against my forehead. My clothes drenched and the air warm whilst the rain pours softly like mist dancing in the wind. I stand before a field of neatly grown apple tree's placed perfectly in rows going in all directions. The rain helps empower the smell of nature all around me... from the soft grass that I lye with my back against grazing me like cotton to the smell of the ripe red apples filling the trees that went on forever. My eyes set to the skies filled with clouds that shadow the sun leaving us dark and grey. The sound of thunder slams violently atop the cliffs from afar... deafening to a soft whisper upon my ears in the distance. In this rain so close to nature I felt my body washed of all it's sins, troubles and trivial misdeeds pouring off my body into the earth. I remember this place so detailed... my escape... my place of rest.

A Little About Myself (Mother)

My science teacher often posed the question of are we born, or are we made?

My psychiatrists often looked at me and said I was born or am chemically imbalanced. They never implied I became such, but I was either born or am chemically imbalanced.

I look to these faces and I reminisce a time I was happy... that I was carefree and above all filled with love for all this world and everyone in it. A time where my hair was softer with a hint of brown and my eyes a hint of red. Once I had a smile that was geniune; now exagerated.

My science teacher asks are we born, or are we made?

My hands hold a cup of warm coffee as my mother sits idlely to the table staring out to the distance of the backyard through the window. She has a difficult time facing me, it's always been such; and she refutes that she doesn't love me... I see that in the food she cooks and the roof she puts over my head... although I cant escape our history.

A room in shambles with doors barricaded with furniture as she wept in a room across from me. I sat by the window staring to the distance as my father slams the door yelling aggressively. Eventually my mother confronts him and after an argument they come to an agreement asking me to live with one or the other. An abusive father who took care of me more then my absent hard-working mother. I chosed my mother as we left that night into the city. This is where I began remembering quite vividly the passing days where before it was just a mix of events.

It was difficult for me to fit into public school, and at the same time I was my only support against the bullying and alienation I faced coming from a private school. I wasn't one to raise fists and fight back... but I became self-supportive and violent through these fights in school. At home it was no different... my mother became wildly drunk after work to only come home and act abusive like my father. She'd hurl words like her vomit denouncing me whilst cursing why she has such an ugly son, such a stupid one, a weak one; and she'd place these words against me like her fists until she threw me out after a drunk fiasco into the streets with my clothes and shoes when I was 10.

I wandered the streets being followed by strange people who were drunks, homeless, and for all I know kidnappers. By this time I wasn't able to really cry about my situation but trying to find solutions to solve it. I remember kicking a news paper stand open to use the paper as insulation to keep myself warm as I fell asleep in a bench at a park. The next morning I went home after my mum left for work to get ready for school.

At school all I thought about was how to help my mother; something must be wrong, and as a loving son I had to do something. First I tried to talk to her when sober but she refuted becoming violent when she's drunk. I then decided to hide her liquer which would only drive her violent while sober. I thought about proffesional help... but my mother was my only support and I feared the idea of returning to my father.

I decided to just accept these troubles where after the first time she threw me out; it became a routine, thus I packed things and discovered sleeping in abandon homes would keep me warm and safe from people who might attack me in my sleep.

This went on for quite some time and it was evident my strength and will to push on was slowly crippled. I felt pains, my lunges, heart, stomach, head, back, hands; just pains I'd try to escape. I realized these pains are just reflections of my difficulty to never vent or overcome what my parents have done to me.

Even through friends I found no home or love only supporting their violence and abuse against me. However now that my mother has changed... she still looks aimlessly making puns and never saying that I'm special to her. Other then the blood in my body, she puts it in my face how she wishes I was better looking, smarter; overall something that she hasn't been given. Also in the face of friends she will change the subject or say something misleading about me like I'm healthy or I'm her son... when drunk she seems to really tell the truth about people and acts violent regardless to whom ever which is evident at parties with family.

I've become a boy so hateful of himself through this care. I've finally stopped holding to a belief that my mother loves who I am; and everyday I wake up believing what they've told me. Will I amount to anything in my future? Will I one day be loved by another?

I can't escape these thoughts and feelings.

A Little About Myself (Father)

The story below can be difficult to read.
Underneath the story is true to it's memory, and it's not fictional.
If your sensitive to child abuse or intolerant; do not continue to read further.






The sun sat still in the sky gently glowing bordered by the blue and shifting white clouds. Below is a young boy with a glint in his eyes and a smile that emits youthful ambition learning to ride his bike without his training wheels. In the background stands an older man who ethnically resembles the boy with minor indifferent details who he called father. The boy gently begins wobbling as he picks up speed to balance his weight. The father beer in hand yells and cusses at his son who tries his best to handle his bike... eventually losing control and running his knee underneath the bike against the concrete. Slowly his father approaches him slapping him across the face remarking how pitiful he was and how he should treat the bicycle properly. Soon the blue sky and glowing sun is shadowed by a deep set of clouds turning the sky grey as lightening soon follows. Above the boy stands his father who tells him to pick himself up as he walks off into the house. The boy with his bruised knee pulls a bike and himself up the stairs to the patio where he limps setting his bike against the wall. He then moves through the doorway into the house to find his father sitting by a table with a second beer in hand as the boy's knee sets off a trail of blood against the floor. The father furiously rose up and smacked the boy into the floor then began punching him violently yelling to be more cautious of blood within the house. The boy has no means but to begin crying as the father becomes more furious calling him a pxzw%, a weakling as he hits harder... until the boy finally comes to control himself huddled to stop crying until the father stands above him eventually turning and leaving him alone. He lyes there turning to the rain outside... the world grew ever dark, and still in his mind he can hear the sound of raindrops.





Child abuse isn't uncommon, or is it a proper way of handling children. Of course children do not necessarily need to be raised unpunished, however to children who suffer abuse at the hands of parents mature with everlasting scars.

If you haven't come to realize; the boy in the story was me and the abusive father was my own. I grew up trying to handle his alcoholism and physical/mental abuse; however my parents are now divorced and I try my best not to see him. When I was young I tried to love him, but as I grew older it proved difficult.

Parts of my life have been difficult. I also know that there's many others who live a life similar. However, there's not a person who can be the judge of whose life is worst then anothers. Most of all we are not to judge those of such things either. If someone's hurt, sad, mistaken; do the best thing and listen to them, and show unconditional love. It's a christian ideolology, but whether you do good for heaven; good will suffice for those around us.

Love, virtue, and peace~

A Little About Myself (First Account)

The sun beamed brighter then my eyes to withhold. I slowly shaded the sun with my hand watching rays flood between fingers against my face. My back was against a moat gently sitting not one bit shifting in the pond that it lyed on; which was more calm then a dusted record player... sitting still and aged by time ever silent. The sound of crickets and the song of birds played gently in the background to the pause and pace of dragonflies in the distance. The grass... so green. The sky... so blue. The clouds... just drifting marrily through the sky creating shapes to match my imagination. I lyed beneath the heavens so distant to that very moat exciting my mind by the beauty of this very place. I was dressed very formal in a small fitted dress shirt and dress pants with my blazer set across from the heat with wrapped sleeves. My hair gave a hint of brown while my eyes a hint of red as a smile showed a glint of youthfulness and optomism. Like any other children I had little hands, little feet as I must of been 4 or 5. I was so very young... but already sophisticated and very intelligent... however it soon became irrelevant when I peered over the moat to the flowers sitting atop the surface of the water. Among these flowers... one caught my eye, a particular violet one that I can recall. Like a dog I sat with my arms down and my knees folded as the flower stared back at me... it was beautiful... it was wonderous... and I had to reach towards it. I used various methods of reaching the flower but it was far from my grasp as eventually I put too much weight out towards the edge managing to tumble into the water. Quickly I bobbed from below gasping for breath as I quickly sank back in violently tossing. My hands reach for the moat, the floats, anything... but I continue to paddle between surface to bottom. I was drowning... I yelled for help but I lived far into the countryside from anyone. Time sped as I continued to keep my head above water catching breath and falling back beneath to the depths. Eventually my body felt overcome with exhaustment as I finally allowed myself to be taken beneath the surface staring at the sun so very distant. My breath slowly released like my retain on staying alive. I was underwater, I was alone, I was surrounded by beauty and swallowed whole. The last images I saw were the world around me growing brighter, illuminating from every detail... then it was pitch dark and I heard the sound of my voice in the distance to echo's hallowed silent... the words so vague but the emotion of fear and despair pierced into the depths of my soul... then my eyes opened and I swung around in a panic. The sun sat in the sky still beaming... I raised my hand to shade the light whilst rays flooded from the gaps of my fingers. My body was afloat and I began to paddle to the edge of the pond lifting myself onto land... one moment I remember my lunges filling with water while my body began to lose touch... then I awoke to find myself swimming... as I lyed my back to the grass still staring to the sky... I saw a familiar cloud loom above me. One I believed to have seen before shapen oddly as a heart... this was my first account of life and death. I've escaped that pond, but at times I still feel I'm bobbing between the bottom and the surface... and that flower I never had; I still search the world over looking to find it.

A Little About Myself (Religion)

In fact... this isn't little at all, but it's little to the grand scale of who I am as a person... I wrote this straight forward on WordPad by the way... so I apologize for any typo's and odd flow of reading, but it seemed fine to me.
For friends, please pay a little patience and read this on my behalf. Enjoy~





I understand this is a trivial subject. Like all people I don't want this subject to be abolished or bashed, but for people to give a positive comment; and even beyond something that reflects the criteria. Aside my nationality, ethnicity; religiously I'm a Christian. Despite I despise and accuse God of misdeeds and difficulties in my life... I hold Christian ideolologies; you know, the seven virtues? To praise the ethical teachings and words given by Jesus in the bible of which someone else wrote and could be a lie (Yes, this is quite plausible), but despite your attempts of dispelling our real or make-believe messiah; he can do the world some good, but to those who take his words and messages positively. Yes, you don't need religion, yes, religion has had it's negative impacts; but we live in a world where you have the freedom to reject religion passively and not be persecuted and killed for it anymore (unless you live in the middle east and some parts of Europe or some third world countries), and for those who still object and flaunt their negative opinions should realize they themselves are acting like us many years ago. Regardless, I like to think Jesus Christ had it altogether. He showed us that we have faith beyond pain, beyond the human bodies limits to hold to something he believed in (Despite it was about God and his role to the human race; you can manipulate it to be belief in anything; like fighting for a cause). All his life he fought for human prosperity, peace, and for us to forgive one another and show unsurpassed compassion and love. Tell me how a story about such a cool and sly looking guy has to be bashed and rejected? We all have heroes don't we (real, flawed, and even fake)?

But to the main topic... I used to think I had a place with God. What can I say? I liked to believe in the bible; it's my fairy tale of imaginary things that's become an acceptable topic of belief. I would try my best to do things the 'Christian way'... little things of having patience, understanding, and compassion to those around me. Slowly as I grew up I began losing touch with God. Maybe when little that small sparkle like the one from my eyes, hair, and smile help illude you that there's more to life then what there is; now which is the blackened hair, lifeless eyes and smiles that seem exagerated then poised. Eventually in my idle dilemma as I meandered in the dark so many nights; the passing of two friends, a broken home, and rejections (both I felt from God in my prayers and from people) became evident that God doesn't give a f@wx. Or perhaps I'm speaking out of anger and directing it the wrong direction... but with such anger I have inside myself; anger that I wish I could let out and just cry about; this is one of many inappropriate approaches of making myself feel better. When you grow up as a boy with a Father that goes the outmost lengths to turn crying into something negative; you begin to just bottle up a lot of heartache that becomes hate. Hate that becomes thrown in places that shouldn't be (I like this moment to apologize to those I have hurt around me trying to do good). I never acted on behalf of God or Jesus though... I'm still trying to be a good person; still trying to help others where I may... because it's just the absolute best thing you can do since the world isn't about yourself... it's about... as a bible referance that we're all brothers and sisters in the eyes of God; and that really caught me. The world is very self-indulged with their selves... a lot of times I am too... but sometimes I catch that chance of asking if someones doing okay, to lay it on me; and understand and be tolerant to their words (but I can lose patience and be selfish as well). The best thing in the world is unconditional help, understanding, and love... the bible just scares us into doing good however... or on my behalf was icing on the cake if good people go somewhere nice (and I wanted to be a good person).

There's many things I'd say I've done wrong and horrible in this world despite my attempts... I've sinned and I'm not the most upright Christian... but there's got to be some things I do right, isn't there? Regardless, I feel if there was a place worst then hell... perhaps a solitary cage surrounded by snow where I lye naked... I feel this is my place in the world. I don't feel salvation, I don't feel I'll ever find grace... grace; to me it's unconditional love and duty. You don't need an afterlife or religion to find that... but it be nice if we're in a state of eternal grace when we move on; or even here. No damnation or eternal torture; but freedom from all that ails us with provocative and correct answers to all our broken hearts. ... Despite the passing of my two friends... I feel they're not in grieve though... I don't believe they went to hell... or perhaps I try not to think it to make my mind easier... I see Sarah smiling everytime I close my eyes while Jepha still comes at me to haggle me with such non-sense. I'm keeping their spirits alive in memory... fond memories. No matter our worsts; I believe we all find salvation... but I lye negative to myself. Perhaps I'm just searching for someone to renew my faith... I remember ex-girlfriends who were religious and their words tenderly against my ear hearing the quiver that they meant it; meant that I wasn't going to hell, and am a good person... was and still is important to me. I guess I wrote and blogged this because I wanted people to leave those words. If you do think I am a bad person and going to hell; then be subtle about it please. If your someone I don't even know with something negative or hurtful to say; I'll delete your comment because 1. Your opinion only entitles to yourself (This is my blog!), 2. Your opinion has no relevance and won't strike me (Why the hate? Whatever did I do to you!?), 3. I don't want your garbage on my blog.

Regardless, whatever you believe in; I respect that and hope you respect mine. For those who are Christian, praise Jesus~

What's Dany Listening To?~

People ask me what music I like to listen to~
I decided to put up every band both past/present that I've listened to on my blog~
The ones with the * will be ones I've listened to recently or often~

I felt I should put this up because I'm in the midst of working on a full song using shotty equipment~ But hopefully everything will pull through
At the moment the various things stressing me out is writing the song, money for guitar strings, a broken beat device~ (Drums) and a shotty microphone that picksup yells and my voice hasnt been in full collaboration either

This may take a very long time from this being posted~ I may even get overwhelmed and just give up...but having such a passion for music; I thought giving this a shot will teach me a lot more then making tunes and singing out loud to break the silence~

Here's as follows:

1997*
30 Seconds to Mars
Aiden
Air Traffic
Alesana*
Alexisonfire
Alkaline Trio*
The All-American Rejects*
Angus and Julia Stone
Anti-Flag
Architects*
Arctic Monkeys
The Arcade Fire
Armor for Sleep
Audioslave
Be Your Own Pet*
The Beatles*
Bikini Kill
Bill Talent
Bleed the Dream
Blink 182
Blue October
Bobby Darin
Brand New*
Breaking Benjamin
Bright Eyes
Bring Me the Horizon
Buck 65
Bullet for my Valentine
Bush
Cancer Bats*
Carpenters
Cartel
The Chariot*
Chasing Victory*
Chevelle
Chordettes
The Clash
The Classic Crime
Cobra Starship
Coheed and Cambria
Coldplay
Copeland
The Cribs
Crystal Castles*
Daft Punk
Dashboard Confessional*
Dead Disco
Dead Poetic
Death Cab for Cutie
Death From ABove*
DeVotchKa*
Diana Krall
The Distillers
The Dodoz
Doris Day
Eisley
Emery
Emily Haines and the Soft Skeletons
End of Fashion*
Evanescence
Every Time I Die*
Eyes Set to Kill*
Finch*
Finger Eleven
Flyleaf*
Foo Fighters
Frankmusik
Frank Sinatra
Franz Ferdinand*
The Fratellis
From First to Last
Funeral for a Friend*
Gallows
Gary Jules
The Ghost of a Thousand
Goldfrapp*
Green Day*
Greg Laswell
I Haunt Wizards
Incubus
Inhale Exhale*
The Ink Spots
Iron and Wine
Jet
Jimmy Eat World
Just Surrender
The Horrors
The Hottness
Kaiser Chefs
Kate Nash
Kasabian
Keane
Kelsey and the Chaos
Kill Hannah
The Kill
The Killers
The Kooks
L7
Ladytron
Letter Kills*
Lights*
The Like
Little Birdy
Mae
Marilyn Manson
Maroon 5
Mary Elizabeth MeGlynn*
Matchbook Romance
Matt Dusk
Metric
Mindless Self-Indulgence
Mineral
Modest Mouse
MSTRKRFT
Mudvayne
Muse
Neverending White Lights*
Nicole Atkins*
Nine Inch Nails
Nirvana
Norah Jones
Norma Jean*
Nouvelle Vague
October Fall
The Offspring
Our Lady Peace
The Outline
Panic! at the Disco
Paramore*
Patsy Cline
A Perfect Circle
The Pippettes
Pixies
Poison the Well*
The Postal Service*
Protest the Hero
Queens of the Stone Age
Radiohead
Rammstein
The Ramones
Rancid
Rise Against
Red Hot Chili Peppers
The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
Regina Spektor
Rise Against
Robots in Disguise
The Ropes*
The Rumble Strips
Rumblefish
Saosin*
Saves the Day
Seether
Senses Fail*
S%@ Pistols
The Shins
Silverstein*
A Skylit Drive*
Slipknot
The Smashing Pumpkins
Soundgarden
The Starting Line
A Static Lullaby*
Story of the Year
Stolen Babies*
The Strokes
Sugarcult
Sum 41
Taking Back Sunday*
Ten Second Epic
A Thorn for Every Heart*
Thrice
The Ting Tings*
The Turtles
Uffie
Underoath*
The Used*
Vagiant
The Vines*
We Are Scientists
Weezer
Wolfmother
The White Stripes
Yeah Yeah Yeahs
Zolof the Rock and Roll Destroyer



Give a shout out to your fave bands~ Positive comments is always welcome~
And hope to hear some support from friends

myPoetry~

Just some poems I wrote to get an idea of my poetry;


Anemones,

If my thoughts be the clouds in the sky,
May it be clear where birds may fly.
Through my hatred and anger I see rain form,
Allow thunder to come raging the storm.
In my contempt of thoughts so lonely,
I'm here fading ever so slowly.
Consider this a fair warning,
I maybe dead next morning.

If my faith be a star in the sky,
I'm beneath one where none will lie.
I wish to cry in thoughts of being alone,
But my frail mind subdue this heart of stone.
Burdened with heavy weights I consume,
My future this is all I assume.
I applaud in sweet surrender,
For I never will have her.

Anemones to heal the wound
What affection can insume
Angels marvel when we bloom;
Absent light foils the moon
Like my heart left dark to doom.


Miss You...,

I lye vacant across the field...
Becoming dirt, Growing grass.
I gaze upon the restless sky...
Becoming clouds, Bleeding rain;
Where I may return again.

I hold flowers given by earth...
Barring beauty, Tasting poison.
I held onto the savage sun...
Barring anger, Crying fragments;
Where I may return again.

I felt friendship harbour me close...
Clenching affection, Losing animation;
Where they may never return again.


Beloved,

Words cannot describe her slightest motions;
Rooms felt warmer, Suns seemed brighter.
Rain drops became distinct like her freckles;
Time grew longer, Stars were vibrant.

Her hair as bright and vivid like the sun;
My mind silent, My heart beating.
Her eyes capture fallen stars and shimmer;
My eyes tearing, My soul fleeting.

Her embrace so pleasing...
My heart begins to beat.
Her kiss so tender...
I buckle my knees.


Eternity,

I denied my faith,
Sank down deeper beneath;
Returned myself to sea.

You sat close to me,
Our bodies touched relief;
Our hearts all to express.

All our hates been raised,
Lovers that have betrayed;
Without reason to stay.

Friend don't be afraid,
All our debts will be laid;
And love shall never fade.

And all will come to be,
When our times judged by he,
For all our sins he'll see;
But we'll be together...
Just you and me.

Ode to bitter ends,
What message does loss send;
Will my heart ever mend?

And I need to believe,
That our spirits receive,
This is my sweetest dream;
That we'll be together...
Just you and me.


The Lost, The Suffering,

Friends I have lost;
Alone I've become immortal.
Love I have lost;
Alone I've become undefined.

The grass we once lyed on,
My hands graze to feel it's warmth.
The streets you and I shared,
I still search to see your grace.

The clouds once distanced,
Now fill my mind.


What is?,

What is left of us but bones;
And only memories.
What is left of us but dust;
For our longest journies.

Woe to my friends;
I've love and lost.
Woe to myself;
I'll loath 'till dust.

What is left of us but whispers;
That linger amidst silence.
What is left of us but our breath;
Once warm now growing absence.

Woe to my friends;
I've love and lost.
Woe to myself;
I'll loath 'till dust.


She,

She speaks in sweet melodies,
She holds me in warm embrace;
Her hands bare my world,
Her eyes behold love,
Her voice speaks of truth.

She moves in passionate dance,
She sings like an angel's hymn;
Her hair so gentle,
Her arms my escape,
Her kiss my embrace.

Forever and ever,
For we shall never sever.
Always and forever,
My love grows on here after.

Now and ever we'll stand together,
In love forever.


Drowned My Broken Heart,

To this cage my heart,
Coursed an ocean of blood;
Now sank beneath the pond.

It still remains pieced,
But as brittle as bread;
Still lyes beneath this pond.

Was sank long ago,
Where I betrayed myself;
Now drowns beneath the pond.

Does my heart still beat?
For my chest feels empty;
For beneath no response.

What I feel is of no concern,
What I see is of all discern;
Lye me between the flames,
Lye me within my shame;
For this heart beats in its cage.


Fascist,

So she laid me down to die,
Sank me in the hearse whilst cried.

Rehearse your very lines,
Rehearse them 'till I die.
Beget me from this sleep,
Forget my venom lies.

For seldom we belonged,
Mercy god for I have wronged.

Sin is passion in my song,
So lived here and beyond.
I have wrote you many songs,
So here's another wrong.

This vial of blood may ensue;
Your very nature to rue.
Turn this coffin on its head;
Bury my corpse as it is.

For I've cursed this very world,
Blood and soul we've emmersed.

In a bitter state of hate,
In a bitter taste of fate;
You fascist.