My complete dating profile (400 characters is not enough)

Name: Roy, but I prefer my nickname, which is RRRR (pronounced like a growl) Yes, really.
Age: 47
Zodiac: Skeptic
Height: 185 cm 6' 1"
Weight: 94 kg 207 lbs
Country: USA
City: Los Angeles, California
Eyes: Two
Hair: You're kidding, right?
Occupation: Classical music composer & teacher
Education: Bachelor's degree (maybe that's why I'm still a bachelor)
Religion: None
Marital Status: divorced/escaped
Kids: none
Languages spoken: English
My personality traits are: Weird, nonconformist, creative, logical, funny, strong, kind, communicative, loyal, chivalrous, honest, curious, intellectual, uninhibited, sexual, dominant, protective, good listener
I like these kinds of music: Classical, jazz
I usually read: Books & magazines, but not minds
I like to go out to: Classical concerts, museums, ride my motorcycle
My favorite cuisine: Is this really a criterion for a relationship?
I like these physical activities: Weight-lifting, swimming, bicycling, s**
Other interests: Reading, writing, science (especially astronomy), politics, animal rescue, movies (especially old movies: Marx Brothers, Chaplin, Bogart, etc.), Godzilla, sports

More about me: I am not too weird, just weird enough. I am part serious, part rotten little kid. I'll make you laugh-- guaranteed. I have a good head on my shoulders, which is a good thing because if it were on some other part of my body, it just wouldn't look right. I am strong mentally and physically, fiercely loyal, a take-charge man, and I am extremely chivalrous. I will open your door, carry all the heavy stuff, be strong for you, and be your protector. I am definitely not into one-night stands, or chasing around other women while I am in a relationship, and I AM looking for a possible lifetime commitment if I find Miss Right. I would rather have a relationship than play the field. I compose classical music (if you're not deeply into classical music, we will not be right for each other over the long term) and teach. I enjoy doing the things others say they want to try (such as skydiving and bungee jumping), but seldom actually do. (When I am old and look back on my life, I do not want to regret risks I did not take. You do not have to be into those things, but accept that I like to do them sometimes. However, please do not be too chicken to ride on the back of my motorcycle. If you are too timid for that, you are probably not up for anything else I would have in mind.) I am looking for someone unconventional who takes the path less traveled, or, better yet, creates her own path, as I have created mine. I have fulfilled pretty much all of my sexual fantasies, and I would like to continue fulfilling them with someone I care about deeply, and who cares about me equally deeply. I am politically aware, but definitely not politically correct. I have often volunteered to help animal rescue organizations with animal adoptions. I am a vegetarian, but do not insist on that in my partner at this point. The environment is often a top priority when I support a candidate. I loathe G.W. Bush. Naturally, I voted for both Gore and Kerry, but if Bush’s opponent had been the grime under my refrigerator, I still would not have voted for him. (At least grime does not pretend to be something other than grime.) Conformists, political conservatives (leave me alone, you've done enough damage), and religious folks (I gave up religion for Lent) need not apply. I do over 200 voice impressions. Yes, really. Order now, operators standing by.

Miss Right: Can you tell this profile is designed to w*** out as well as attract? Hey, this could be a lifetime we’re talking about here. Wish list: soft of body and spirit, strong of mind/character; an independent thinker yet someone who likes her man to take charge and to be her protector; does not need to be drop-dead gorgeous, no objections if she is; at least be height & weight proportionate; well-groomed; no large tattoos or piercings other than on the ears; extremely feminine, extremely intelligent (I DO mean extremely); passion for classical music (knows, for example, the difference between Haydn and Ravel; doesn't think Beethoven's a large dog and Bach is the sound he makes when chasing cats); into arts & sciences in general, politics, literature, nature; incurable case of intellectual curiosity.

You will not be right for me if
• you smoke (even a little),
• you take drugs(even a little),
• you would ever be unkind to animals,
• you’re not into hairy guys
• you believe in astrology or any other brainless superstition, including religion
• how much money your match makes matters to the extent that it is a factor in your attraction to him, then we will not be compatible. No, you won't find me selling oranges at intersections, but want me for what I am, not what I have.
• your profile shows such poverty of imagination that you say you like long walks on the beach. I have nothing against such walks, but, really, the world lacks enough coastline for everyone on the internet who says they want long walks on the beach.

I also want my woman to be uninhibited & passionate in bed or wherever else the urge strikes us. Please be willing to try new things. I’m not very concerned with how experienced you are because enthusiasm is more important than experience, for it’s the best sexual technique. I think bisexual girls are very sexy, although I have always been completely straight. Additionally, there are things that should be carried to extremes. Honesty is one of them. In relationships, I DO NOT LIE, no matter how important or trivial the matter. I ask the same from you. The first lie is grounds for breaking up. S** is great, but I’m looking for more than just s**. Would I have written all this stuff in my profile if all I wanted were to get laid? Lastly, if you initiate contact with me, I will send a courtesy reply even if I don't think we're a match because not doing so is extremely inconsiderate to someone who has taken the time to send me a message. I would like the same courtesy if I initiate contact with you.
RRRRComposer@y****.com