Letting GO!!!!!

I starred at myself in the mirror today. I relived the slaps, the stings, the pain, the blood, the tears. My heart dropped to my feet, my knees buckled. I squirmed to the nearest corner. I yelled, cried, screamed. Invisioning your image infront of me. I wanted to lash out at you, I wanted to destroy you. You have haunted me for 5 years. It took now, to realize, I never let you go, but surpressed you instead. Every sight, of you, the smell of your cologne, the sound of your footsteps, and your touch. Both frightening, and welcoming. It is a misunderstanding of the meaing of strength, TRUE, strength. As the dying ignored stray, I too was not noticed nor accepted by those I ran to for comfort. They shared pity, but I did not need that, I had enough for myself. I now stand. Alone. Most importantly, I am standing. God has had mercy, because I could be among the dead. I promise myself never to be in that situation again, and I pray God has mercy on your soul, as I pray he has on mine. I am officially letting go, as I click the post button. My frustration, and demons, I have held on to, are now where the belong, in hell. I love you as a christian, but my flesh hates you, and I pray I can move past that. God is good, all the time. I am healing now, and wounds that were once infected, are officially healing. Good bye!