am I gay or NOT

I am at a very difficult stage in my life......... CONFUSION seems to rule in my life currently!!!!

I have dated quite a few guys and all relationships had its memorable moments with all the rellevant up and downs one can expect in any relationship, AND all the heartache with each breakup.

My recent break up with a very gentle and cute boy, was mostly because of my uncertainty of my sexual orientation. Look, the yummy part of the relationship...i.e s~* (dare I speak that word on this site) was just not as satisfying as what I expected from a relationship, due to the fact that I was not totally into it.

I realised that I had more fantasies of being with another women than with my partner.........
S@# with him became a duty and one that I was not really happy to perform.

I also realised the one weekend when all of our friends gone away that I was really eyeing some of the other femmes...... I really got a HUGE surprise when the one evening (pissed) when we all got dressed that I was getting really turned on by seeing some naked femme flesh..... I felt ashamed and shocked!!!!

I have never kissed a girl, even when this is my biggest wish........

I am creating this blog of myself to capture my adventurous journey that lies ahead of me in writing, and who knows, maybe some girl on this site will become my "mentor"...hehe.

Anyways, cross thumbs and let my journey begins....

Love,

Andeliene